Best Excuses for Getting out of Meetings (page 3)

tyydyy

I remember when I was about 10 watching for my mom's dispostition. If she was feeling bad I could say that I had a headache or stomach ache and she would jump at the duty of staying home to take care of the sick kid.

TimB

ashitaka

Me too. I always had back problems, and stomach aches were effective.

It always helped to have buckets of homework, too.

ashi

truthseeker1

Is the "Time of the month" similare to the " 2- 3 times and a half a times of the month"? I had that problem. Actually my excuse was going to school. Last summer I had a night class for 12 weeks, got me outa 3 months of night meetings it was great. I'd rather sit in a class where I'm actually learning useful stuff than getting regurgitated the same useless drabble over and over. Now my excuse is "I don't believe its the truth" or "I just don't want to go".

dustrabbit

Nothing worked better for me than a very bad case of foul-smellin' farting. No kidding.

My mother was one of those who feels embarassed easily. I once farted my way out of the Memorial...got into deep doo-doo, as it were, though.

Edited to add: I was only 7 or 8 at the time....

Edited by - dustrabbit on 29 June 2002 23:28:42

Lady Lee

Oh my I have a list

Time of month - but that one was limited to once a month
Sick kids - always good and even if I thought they "might" be getting sick
sick me - I had a very cooperative body that took me to the washroom about a half hour before most Tuesday meetings
back problems that prevented me from sitting very long
pregnancy was good too but only happened twice so rather limited
Learned sign language - now this didn't get me out of the meeting but at least I had something interesting to do instead of listen to the boring talk for the umteenth time
kids - noisy fidgety needing to go to the bathroom, needing to change the baby , or settle the baby
headaches
blizzards were great especially if no power
kids homework that just HAD to be done

might think of more later

LB

Well at first I made some lame excuses but I was a 100% attender the first couple of years. Then as soon as I missed a couple the "friends" would always make sure to remind me they hadn't seen me at the last meeting and how I had missed such a spiritually uplifting talk. Then I sort of became a jerk about it. I would ask them if their posistion included taking attendance. Or I'd lie and say I was there and that I knew they weren't.

Oh and like Nab, I'd light myself on fire.

Imbue

The JWs should have their very own form of hypochondria named for their illness. Since, it can help them get out of service and meetings without appearing too weak; almost all the JWs I've known has some sort of chronic illness.

Edited by - imbue on 30 June 2002 0:11:47

LyinEyes

Very true Imbue!!!! The JW made us all "sick". I felt like crap the whole time I was a JW, one illness after the other. It could have been a combination of what they thought I should be doing and having 3 small children.

My youngest was a very sick 2 1/2 premature. I had strick doctors orders to not take him to any public places , including church, because of threat of virus. He had no immune system and even a mild bug that would not make most people very sick , could kill him. So you beat I stayed home with him for about 5 months. My hub was an elder and had alot going on, so I did the honorable thing and let HIM go to the meetings, while I took care of the kids!!!!!! LOL

I only went to the meetings maybe 2 or 3 times durning that period. I swear , there was a brother who had 8 kids, and each and every one of them got chicken pox , one right after the other. And they brought them there all infected. I sat so far away from them, and told hubby to stay clear of them too, I havent had chicken pox either.

Even after the baby got stronger there were always some kind of crisis going on with him, or his sister , who is 17 months older than he is. She screamed until she was 3. The brothers at our hall had no children, mine were the only kids in the whole hall. They just didnt get what we were going thru. My daughter , it turns out had ADD and allergies.

But instead of encouragement, they were more concerned with my field service time, meeting attendance, and how it looked being an elders wife. Looking back on it, I want to kick their asses!!

I went thru hell with my kids, not knowing if the baby would even live. They showed little concern and loaded my hubby elder with even more things to do, more shepherding, more elders meetings, more parts. They didnt care that maybe I needed him more than they did. He hates it now too and wishes he could go back , things would be alot different. So even with legitimate reasons for missing meetings, they just burden me down with guilt.

I was so sick of their faces , that I was glad to just stay home and take care of my babies.

Just thinking about all of what they did to us, makes me so mad ,,,,, urrrrrrrrr!!!!

ballistic

Can we include assemblies??? How do you get out os assemblies? YOU VOLUNTEER.

And now for my big revelation: sorry to say I once was an attendant but even worse: I normally volunteered for security which meant one of 2 things: car park attendence or keeping a look out for apostates and other trouble makers.

Oh, now I've blown it, and given away my darkest secret!!!

FriendlyFellaAL

When I was just a wee nipper, I hated the fact that I never got to watch Saturday morning cartoons - Darned field service! So, my brother, sister and I all would conspire to sneak into our Mom's bedroom and switch off her alarm clock. Thinking back on it now, I can't tell you how many times we did this. LOL! Then we'd creep her door closed ever so quietly and sneak back to bed. Usually worked, but her JW trained internal alarm clock would go off once in a while and thwart our plans.

Brian

Best Excuses for Getting out of Meetings

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