As I am an faker/“undercover apostate”, for the first time ever I’m actually doing something to help the local kingdumb hall build, I had guard duty on Sat. night. So I get there and notice most of the already done new parking lot is empty except for a couple of bros conversating after a long day of holy work and some other minivan. So I go up to the pair and introduce myself, bla bla bla. Funny exchange of words was about to happen. Bro-1: “so you’re on guard duty tonight?” ME: “yep sure am, first shift 6-10” Bro-1: “ah, so you’ll be ready to tackle anyone down in case they try to come close to the material right?” ME: “nah, I won’t need to since I brought my Beretta 40 tonight, I’ll just blow their brains out if they even come close to that material” (You should have seen the look on his face after I said that.) Bro-1: “Well you don’t want to kill ***cut off by ME*** ME: “No its ok, I’ll just sacrifice them for Jehovah!” *sarcastically* “So they should be ok since they would have died for a good cause.” Bro-2: “No what you do is get a 20 that way the bullet just bounces around inside of them but they don’t end up dying just suffer.” ME: “***Laughing*** yea, I like that idea better. Hey at least they’ll be able to get a blood transfusion if they need to!” **laughing my ass off** “Sorry, (sarcastically) I just had to throw that one in” **walking off**” Bro-2 just laughed while Bro-1 looked at me with a weird empty look maybe feeling sorry he didn’t retain my name. It’s a good thing I didn’t tell my wife, she would have probably chewed me out for being such an “apostate jerk”. (As she still suspects of my apostate leanings and is super-hyper sensitive when it comes to me saying sarcastic comments to the bros that may remotely sound apostate.) Just thought I’d share that little encounter with you all, hey if I’m going to be faking j-dubism might as well make it fun!
Guard Duty at KH
by Serg 10 Replies latest jw experiences
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Wordly Andre
instead of doing that you should have just decorated the lot for christmas, huge Merry christmas banner, santa, raindeer, etc. see go to the local thrift shop buy up all the old holiday decorations, decorate, then when the brothers come back you say "I didn't see a think! it must be a christmas magic
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Serg
lol, I probably would have been able to pull that one off had I been alone, I would have just blamed it on the Christmas spirit that surrounds us all.
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B_Deserter
Well, if you're going to do a fade, then you might as well fade in style, by screwing with their heads!
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Abandoned
"...at least they can get a blood transfusion..."
ROFL!!!
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momzcrazy
Well, stay on alert. I just read that the shooter in CO had been kicked out of the school. If you see any DF'd people, duck and cover!
JW's just don't have a sense of humour.
momz
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WTWizard
I like the idea of decorating the place for Christmas better. It works better late at night. What you do is head to Wal-Mart and get some Christmas lights (about 80 boxes will do) and some ornaments. Inflatables and lots of tinsel garlands are prime, along with a complete Santa/sleigh/reindeer outift for the front lawn. You put a great big wreath on the front. If your vehicle is big enough, you might even put a Christmas tree in the Kingdumb Hell and decorate that thing to the max. You should do a better job fastening the lights to the Kingdumb Hell than they did in building it. I think at least a sextuple run of lights on the front and carport edges will do.
Then, when they come in the next day, the building is fully lit. This works best if the dedication is that day. Everywhere they look, there are Christmas decorations. That sleigh outfit will take all day to break down. And there seems to be no end of all the candy cane markers, lights tightly fastened to the roof, tinsel garland, and that wreath that weighs a ton and someone could get hurt if they hurry up to dismantle it. I bet they will be wasting a lot of time taking it down, and have some explaining to do when they are taking it down before the holiday. They will also have to cancel the dedication ceremony, since they will be busy taking down all the Christmas decorations and continually finding more.
True, you will probably get disfellowshipped for doing that. But you will not get into legal trouble. And, with all the messed-up priorities that organization has (it's OK to molest children and silence them, but not to have oral sex with your spouse), it probably will be worth it.
And, while you're at it, saturating the Kingdumb Hell with apostate flyers will have additional effects. Putting every apostate Web site on those flyers, along with the real truth about the "truth", will make visitors and weaker ones stumble. Hopefully it will also help create stagnant meeting attendance (distributing the flyers through the territory would also help stagnate the meetings even better). Hey, who cares about burning bridges to Hell on Earth?
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edmond dantes
Love it! love ! as long as they don't take you seriously and call in the cops.
It sounds exciting wish I could find a way of being a double agent.
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LouBelle
Now THAT is something I'd love to do - decorate the KH. Only thing is they've got massive gates surrounding it - 'spose I could always decorate the gates.
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Serg
Yea, what I also could have done since they don't have the hell i mean hall up yet is decorate that little CO apartment in the back where the CO is actually staying. The construction bros will probably think the CO did it himsef and won't dare to tell him anything for fear of it being "new light" and that there may be nothing wrong with putting up lights according to them. At the same time the CO & wife will not even notice as the lights will be off come daylight as they will probably be in a great hurry to get to the FS meeting because of oversleeping. Pretty soon all the bros in the cong. will start following that great example and the trend will just spread like wild fire after that! haha!