Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

by Homerovah the Almighty 27 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

    10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

    9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

    8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

    7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

    6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

    5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

    4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

    3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

    2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

    1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

    I pulled this off another web-site and I thought it was thought provoking.

  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    It is thought provoking, thanks

    All of it doesnt apply to me though, but still a good read.

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    I know J G. .... some times it's worthy and beneficial for us to look out of the box though, once we have completely have seen within it

  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    Exactly, and sometimes its therapeutic to have a good laugh at ourselves too.

  • Homerovah the Almighty
  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Have a link to the site you got it from, Homerovah?

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    It's off a web-site called evil bible http://www.evilbible.com/

    Have look if you haven't already, there's some interesting stuff there

  • nvrgnbk
    nvrgnbk

    Cool.

    Thanks for all you do for us, Homerovah.

    The puppies.

    The sunsets.

    The water.

    The air.

    The birth defects.

    The deaths resulting from disagreements about your true identity.

    The rapacious parasites.

    Oops.

    Sorry, Homerovah.

    I think I got you confused with some other guy.

  • Homerovah the Almighty
    Homerovah the Almighty

    NVR sheesh you had me worried there for a second

  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    LOL, sometimes this board can provide a much needed laugh.

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