Shunning and then saying its a loving thing to do?

by serenaj92 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • serenaj92
    serenaj92

    I realized the bondage I was under as one of Jehovah's witnesses and left the organization. It pressed fear, paranoia, and even anger in me that I wasn't used to. I started to resent being one. I started to see the hate that they inflict on others, private parties, helping out only those who are good enough or spiritual enough as if they could read the hearts of everyone. I had forgotten what it was like to feel the spiritual feeling after going to church and nothing could come between the inner peace I felt with God that day and looking forward to going again soon. I never had that in a kingdom hall. I only went for 6 years, but as time went on I became physically sick just thinking about going. Listening to the idol gossip about who is spiritually sick and what I needed to work on next. Most of the women were pushing what new depression medications were on the market. Or gorging themselves with chocolate and food then sleeping on and off all day. Like they were escaping from something but not knowing what. I know what. Since I have left, I have felt free. I have been off of antidepressants. I have lost wieght, and felt good about myself and surrounded myself with people who were kind even to their enemies. I have been hugged for being kind to the poor on the street and the elderly in homes instead of being told they weren't worth the pearls. I'm not judging, I am rejoicing. It is true, the truth will set you free. God judges our hearts and I have realized that its not a name that will save you or make you one of God's people. It is your heart, the way you treat others, the love and respect you show that will pull you closer to God. Not a name. Jehovah's witnesses should see the scripture about casting out demons in His name and yet they do not know him. They see the history, and know the scriptures but they lack in the peacefullness, loving kindness, and forgiveness. They are amongst their own enemies and I feel very sad for them. When they shun me for leaving I say to them, I still love you and will always be here for you, no matter what. That, is love.
    Thanks to this site and reading some responses to other letters I thought my thoughts and feelings my help someone else who has left to realize we are not demonic, or insane, we just saw that this was not the true religion and we got out. They tell you that when you have been a witness for awhile you start seeing that other brothers and sisters aren't perfect and you should just forgive but then they tell you to shun others. We are suppose to love and be kind. Its very lonely for some who have lost family members, friends and loved ones from being shunned. My husband is a witness still. But he lives in fear wondering when it will cause problems between him and I. I will fight for my husband and my kids. I don't want them to have to go through realizing that most witnesses are not true friends in the end.

  • Latte
    Latte

    Serenaj92,

    That was just beautifully put

    You said
    ****They are amongst their own enemies and I feel very sad for them. When they shun me for leaving I say to them, I still love you and will always be here for you, no matter what. That, is love.****

    Serena, you have helped me to put things in perspective……………..Thank you!

    The WBTS published a book called……….yes, you guessed!! ENEMIES I find it to be full of paranoia. They seemed to make up enemies where there really weren’t any! ( LOL)

    You are one lovely person Serena, and I thank you for putting your thoughts out for me/us to read. It has certainly helped me to deal with what I have to at this time……….with extra love.

    Take care

    Latte

  • Mazza
    Mazza

    Serena, Good luck with the family. I liked your comment about how they tell you to forgive the imperfect brothers for their endless tiresome behavior, yet there is no forgiveness for those who chooses to walk away. I walked away for some of the same reasons that you did. It just didn't feel right - in my gut!! Both my husband and I sensed that it wasn't working. So we did the honest thing and faced up to it and walked away after 10 yrs of active service. We were d'fd and for 20 yrs I've known the wrath of the WTS. I can never get back what they have robbed me of. Happy years with my relatives. Hey, my 21 yr old met my brother for the first time since he was a baby last week. What a damned shame it all is. It is beyond me to comprehend how a body of people can inflict so much misery on others and be so totally oblivious.

    Anyway.......... sometimes we have to accept that which we cannot change.

    warm regards
    Marilyn

  • mommy
    mommy

    Serenaj92,
    Welcome! What a fresh breath of air that was! Thank you.

    The lack of real love in the org is why I left in the first place. I never agreed that elders should be allowed to read hearts, and determine a person's repentance or lack there of. I too was comforted when I entered a church and communicated with god in my own way. Since that time I have gone on a journey with myself, and thankfully it is not over with. I no longer believe in god, but that does not stop the genuine live I have for people, and try to show.

    I am so glad you had the courage to join in, I have benefitted from it

    Marilyn
    Long time no see! I hope we can catch up in chat one day, great to see your post, I had been thinking about you.
    wendy

    Blind faith can justify anything.~Richard Dawkins

  • thinkers wife
    thinkers wife

    Serena,
    So well put!!! I too feel the most important thing is living our life in order not to hurt others. Show kindness and compassion whenever and wherever we can.
    Shunning just never made sense to me. How can you encourage people to be in the org. if you won't talk to them?
    TW

  • BlackMan4Life
    BlackMan4Life

    Serena - I echo the thoughts of most, by saying that was a refreshing post to read. Straight from the heart! I think that's what this place should be all about. When I find the time I would like to really reply to your post, b/c I'm feeling you all the way. Please continue to express your thoughts here - writing is therapeutic.

    Peace my sister - Larry :)

    [email protected]

  • Tina
    Tina

    (((((serena)))))))))))))0
    Thank you for sharing your feelings and thoughts with us.
    And so beautifully stated!
    Looking forward to hearing more from you sweetie! Like Black man sated so well (ty Bm) writing is cathartic and healing.luv,Tina

    Jehovahs Witnesses,Proudly Serving Their Corporate Masters!

  • California Sunshine
    California Sunshine

    serenaj92,

    No one could have said it better.

    Thank you

    Sunny (wiping a tear away)

    minds are like parachutes--they only function when open.

  • Yerusalyim
    Yerusalyim

    Serena,

    THANKS, REALLY! I look forward to reading more of your posts. WELCOME TO THE BOARD! and GOD BLESS YOU!

    YERUSALYIM
    "Vanity! It's my favorite sin!"
    [Al Pacino as Satan, in "DEVIL'S ADVOCATE"]

  • Escargot
    Escargot

    Have you read Ray Franz two books? Don't miss them....Man, I could have wrote your post, welcome

    Erasmus (1520 AD): "If we want truth, every person ought to be free to speak what they think without fear."

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit