When DA'd of DF'd ones give advice to DA... (page 5)

Paralipomenon

I've found that there are some people that I label as "crusaders". They have a mission and more often a vendetta against the organization. With their family shunning them and no means to reach people in the congregation anymore, they use other people's lives as ammunition to fuel their war. Join the holy war to bring down the tower!

Meh.

I was born into the witnesses, I had no choice in the matter. I'm not going to let a mistake made by my parents rule my life.

Circumstances are different for every individual. Fading works and is the best course of action for some, DAing may be healthier for others.

If anyone actually went and DA'd themself begrudgingly because people on an internet forum told them to, then they have bigger issues than the witnesses.

Gringa

If anyone actually went and DA'd themself begrudgingly because people on an internet forum told them to, then they have bigger issues than the witnesses.

Exactly!

People come here for support, we all share what works for us and those seeking answers have to find their own way.

That being said - I faded -really, I walked away - lock, stock and barrel. I choose not to DA myself because, frankly, when I walked away, I thought I was going to die in Armegeddon in less than a year. I saw no reason. Afterall, Jehovah was going to kill me anyway. LOL When he didn't, I had not heard from anyone in my congregation since I had left, they didn't give a damn, they didn't bother me so, why bring myself to their attention?

I have hardly said a word to my family about my reasons. It has worked for me, to date. Even with so many years behind me,. I do get tired of the constant witnessing I receive from my family that still speaks to me. I resolve it by DA MYSELF from them as much as possible. And, it breaks my heart because, especially, I love my nieces. But, I know they love me too and want everlasting life in paradise earth for me - to be with them - to live together forever.

They would be lost, if they didn't have the JW, it is all they have. Truly, it is all they have. I am not going to change their minds but even if I could, I choose not to because it gives them so much hope and happiness. If I took that away from them, they would be lost..

Every situation is different and when we all share, we can strike a cord with someone. If I thought I could better someone's life by getting them out, I would. I am not afraid, The longer you are out, the stronger you become and the more evil you can see. I

stopped my daughter flat in her tracks when my mom got ahold of her and started the conversion process. I was not going to stand by and let my daughter get SUCKED in. I find my strenght lies better in PREVENTIVE care! LOL

dawg

OK, lets get this in perspective, This thread attacks those of us who said that coming out is the best way... Someone asked our advice and we gave it, then many of you jumped ass... its that simple really, just read what was orginally said. As I said in one of my posts, there are many ways to skin a cat... so honestly, that's all I needed to say... that is the same thing as saying there are many ways to effect the process. Those who handle it diifferently aren't doing nothing... Passive aggressive works for many people.

That said, those who do nothing are not brave, that is a fact, look up the definition of the word and you'll see. Cow-ard: A person who lacks courage in facing danger, difficulty, oppression, pain, ect... a timid or easily intimidated person... that sound about right?

You are easily intimidated if you run form the foolish Elders, they can't hurt you; you are lack courage when facing difficulty ifyou don't face up to the Elders, you lack courage when faced with opression if you don't come clean about your true feelings-that's becasue you're afraid of being oppreessed... I'm seruious here, I'm really interested to see how this defination doesn't applu top those who do nothing... I'm not talking about passive aggressives here... that's doing somehitng that simply may work better... I'm saying those that do nothing.

If you give a reason you do nothing, and that reason includes the fact that you don't want to face danger, difficulty, oppressoin, pain, or if you're easily intimidatede, then you're a coward... and as I've said, I know becasue I was one until I just couldn't live with that any longer.

Challenging, Sweetstuff, and many more that I can't see right now, this doesn't apply to any of you... you do something in a different way...was Schilender a coward just becasue he didn't speak out? No, but those that do nothing becasue it will hurt them in some way are cowards... how is this not true?

When someone asks for my advice., I'll freaking give it, they don't have to take it... you that do nothing give yours and I honestly don't like it, I think its weak... but then I give mine and get attacked... I didn't start this thread, but my methods were attacked in it... Challenging and I have talked this out so that's between she and I... I care for her and her feelings but sometiems we disagree...

Then I come back to this thread today and see that there are you too afraid to speak saying that we who differ have a vanddetta, we want others to suffer and the like... you can't freeaking read my mind, bbut I don't have to read yours, you that do nothing are telling me all I need to hear.... If one of you that do nothing can tell me how that' not cowardice, then I'm willing to listen, and retract what I've said tonight if you can give me a logical explaination. I swear to the heavens above that if you can give me an explainatio how doing nothing knowing others are sure to suffer isn't an act of cowardice, I'll retract and post a thread of sorrow... And let it be know that I've been where you are now, I know how damn hard it is to tell the truth about these fools, I know what's at risk,.,.. I feel for you that do nothing I swear I really do, but it's still cowardice... and one last hting, you don't know what my intentoins are, answer the questions sans ad hominem attacks and we'll start from there,.

reneeisorym

I admit -- I skipped the long posts because I wanted to add my 2 cents.

Especially if they are the militant, bitter type...Are they wanting you to undergo the hardships they've been through?

Actually, I'm so flipping happy right now that I want others to have the same thing. That's why I suggest DA. So they can let go once and for all and have that freedom.

Gringa

OK Dawg.....

Hell yeah, I was a coward for a LONG time! I was afraid of my mom. She is 80 years old now and a little old lady and she still scares me.

Finally when I was 24 and had been out of the cult for 6 years, I finally stood up to her. She was going on about why I wasn't committing to go to the memorial. I couldn't take it any longer - I said, I don't believe. It was a shock to her. She had been holding on all those years, thinking I had just strayed. That was the hardest conversation of my life.(it lastest 3 hours, but I won't bore you with the details)

Every conversation has gotten easier. But, she really doesn't want to hear what I have to say, she just wants to throw in little JW crap into any conversation that happens....we no longer have long talks because she hates to hear what I have to say and it works for me.Hell, she is an old lady - she has her meetings and her friends - good, keeps her busy so I don't have to.

I don't say anything now to my other relatives, not because I am afraid, but as I said before, WHY? I see no point. When my brother was dying of cancer he went back to the "truth". I was shocked but I figured "WHAT EVER". I don't care, he is dying. this is giving him hope and why say anything to him? Now, I say nothing because I don't have a reason. I left all of my JW friends behind, but if they show up - trust me, I will speak out.

I am no longer a coward........ but, I was for a lot of years. I read posts here and see a lot of cowards. People afraid to hurt their wives, parents, whatever, but truthfully, they are afraid for themselves. Well, fine, but I don't want to hear the constant complaining. Those just getting out are afraid and I accept that, but those that have been reading here and see the real facts and they still go back to the KH? MY GOD, I want to scream!

I don't comment on a lot of threads I read because, what's the point? If you can't grow a set of balls, how can I help you?

dawg

See Gringa, we agree then... that's what I'm saying... you didn't keep quiet, and for the most part nor did nayone on this thread... THat was my point in the first place. I'm not saying that evreyone needs to fireball a KH, but being honest isn't bad...

Gringa

LOL - I think I agreed with you since the beginning of this thread.......

Gringa

I have been thinking of this thread and I have to say that I am ok with people being cowards. They gotta just save themselves, whatever it takes.

I still don't like people whinning and never getting off their butts to do something - what is that old saying? OH YEAH! Put up or shut up. Or was it - Sh*t or get off the pot? I don't know, I think either works.

Jourles

Wrong. By forcing someone out of your life you are siezing control from them, asserting your authority, and hurling their impotence into their teeth. I have yet to see anyone feel a sense of control after being ejected from my home or from my life. It has always been quite the opposite.

FF, what I meant by my post was that when you DA yourself, they expect you to follow their rules on how you go about doing it. A signed statement to the effect I believe. Otherwise, getting a blood transfusion or joining the military counts as well(without a written statement). Whereas by forcing them to df you, just don't show up for the jc meeting, let them df you in abstentia. Have nothing to do with their little Pay Attention book and the guidelines found within.

I don't think it really matters though at this point in time. Almost 3 years ago, the oral statement from the platform became the same regardless if someone da'd themselves or was df'd. But the behind the scenes rituals are the same.

I just see it as playing by their rules if they ask you for a letter if you say you're DA'ing yourself. I say screw 'em - make them do all the dirty work.

dawg

(I was hoping someone could come up with an answer to my last post which defined cowardice... looks like there are no takers.

When DA'd of DF'd ones give advice to DA...

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