Question on fading

by ldrnomo 10 Replies latest jw friends

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  ldrnomo

  My wife and I have been staying away from meetings for almost a year now and I was wondering what everyone thinks about taking the next step, which would be going to another KH out of the circuit the cong we went to is in and having the publisher cards sent there and then going for two or three times to the new cong and then just stop. We are thinking that will give the elders an out because they can get rid of our inactive cards and the next cong won't know us that well so won't really care.

  As a former elder and PO, we are well known in the area we live so many in the area are wondering what's going on with us and if we go to another cong. that might make them feel more settled

  What do you all think?
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  flipper

  Make the elders wonder even more and stop going altogether. Then you won't have to worry about their feedback ! It's how I did it ! Just a thought Peace out, Mr. Flipper
• 

  zeroday

  What do you all think?

  Move to another state or DA yourself...you know yourself being a PO they will stop at nothing to DF you why put yourself thru that...DA yourself and be done with it I did the best thing I could have possibly done...And if your worried about family on the inside shunning you what do you care their love is conditional which means there is no love wash your hands of them I did they are as dead to me as I'm to them...
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  wanderlustguy

  That's what I did, only skipped to three different ones..."poof".
• 

  Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

  Hi. My husband and I did something similar: we just became inactive in AZ where we both grew up in the cult, have lots of family there. We moved to CO knowing 1 jw family very well, but we were able to fake out relatives back home for a while via email, all the while lying to jw friends in CO. It's easier on you to fade, I think, it let's you make your decision about the cult at your pace and on your terms. We found that we later needed to stop the madness--it was hard to maintain & necessary to end the charade: being true to yourself takes less energy and let's you grow.

  Anyway you can get away, get away, and sort it all out later. Get busy making new friends/meet the neighbors as soon as you can. Best wishes. Please keep us updated.
• 

  Frequent_Fader_Miles

  That's what I did, only skipped to three different ones..."poof".

  Worked for me!
• 

  nomoreguilt

  While I was DF'd I changed cong. Most all of them knew me there as I was quite well known in the circuit, guess I had one of those admiring personalities. Went there long enough to get re-irated, faded out within 3 months of that, they never called on me to reactivate me better. Then moved 35 miles away where no one knows me. in the year and a half at the new address I've only found one tract in my door. Guess I should be home more often to have an opportunity to tell them" I am not interested".
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  blondie

  Move but don't go to the new congregation. Can you avoid telling any jws where you moved to? I suppose not, if you have family. The worst that could happen is that there might be a visit by the new elders, just send them on their way politely. More likely they will not do anything unless they see Christmas lights on your house.
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  momzcrazy

  Move if you were going to anyway. But don't have the cards sent to the new hall. Then just stop. I did that and have been wondering why no one came to the house with the Halloween then Christmas stuff out.They used to come over quite often with RV's in our neigborhood. I finally realized they don't really know if I was a Witness or not. Other than having to tell my mom who lives an hour away and goes to my old hall, I am scott free. I have to tell Mom because I am sending her Mormon dad an Xmas card this year. Better to have it come from me than him.

  Isn't all this trickery silly? If we were all Catholics and wanted to change to Methodist, who would care?

  Oh and welcome to JWD!

  momz
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  Honesty

  Mail or email all the JW's a quick note telling them that you love and miss them.

  At the bottom of the page simply say:

  The WTBTS just ain't the truth.

  They'll all leave you alone after that.