Well, it's that time of year again- my 2nd JWD birthday! And amazingly, I'm still not an alcoholic crack ho.
Here's the post I made last year: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/124298/1.ashx
After reading it, I thought,"I haven't made much progress this year", but realized that even subtle progress is good.
The biggest change: We attended the Memorial, but other than that, we haven't attended any meetings or conventions
in a year. I've told different JW relatives that we were "taking a break", and no one asked ME why.
But evidently, the family has been talking. My mother told them I'm depressed about my pending empty nest and
that I hate my job. (How conveniently timed those circumstances are!) I've still been invited to some family events,
so there don't seem to be repurcussions -yet. No one, except for my mother (inactive and sporadic meeting attender),
tries to encourage us to go back. That's shocked me. Now that they know I'm a slacker, I'll have to be
careful about criticism of the WTS lest I'm labelled as apostate.
(We've moved, so I don't have to worry about the elders or 'friends' tracking us down. The lack of love makes
fading soooo much easier.)
I don't act much differently, but feel little, if any, guilt/fear for the things I do or say that aren't "JW kosher".
I feel freer when talking to people because I don't have to put up my "protective shield to guard against
Satan's influence through worldly people ". Wow- what an energy drain that used to be. I guess people are reacting to
my openness, since a few have reached out to me in friendship. Ditto for the love life- it's great that I've been
able to broaden my search. Now I'm hopeful I'll actually find love. As a JW I felt it was hopeless.
In an effort to define what I do believe, I had plans to do a lot of research on the Bible, early Christianity
and Jesus, but my "recovery" and spiritual journey has been put on the back burner because I had enough other
stuff to deal with. That's reflected in my participation here: The first year I made 3362 posts. This year I
only made 400. I think a few people have noticed my absence in gabbly as well. ;-)
My daughter's fade is going well too, unbeknownst to her. She doesn't ask to go to meetings! She cusses!
She plays violent video games! She listens to debasing music! She ocasionally asks questions about JW beliefs.
She mentioned that she would like to march in a peace rally. I said "well, I can't go with you. I could get df'd."
She was shocked. I mention all the silly reasons JWs can get df'd for. She said "that's not much incentive to get
baptized." "Yippee!!! She's getting it" I think. Then today, she was talking about Turkmenistan, and
I asked "do you want to visit there?" She said "no - it wouldn't be safe for us as JWs". *sigh*
I hope to get us unlabelled over the next year. Stay tuned.