SCREWED up...simply because we were DF'd

by feenx 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • feenx
    feenx

    Hey guys,

    I am PISSED and need to vent. So I have been DF'd for 5 years now. A while ago in a sporadic conversation with my mother she told me that she had heard through the grapevine that a VERY good friend of mine, who was also DF'd, had been found dead in her car, and that it appeared to be suicide. But that she didn't know for sure. At the time I really didn't know how to take it. We all know how reliable JW gossip is, plus I also knew that her ex husband and his family, who are all still JW, were very unhappy with her and said a lot of untrue things. Her own baby boy had been caught numerous times saying that "mommy was a slut." This from a toddler. So I didn't take it as fact and told my mother to find out everything she could. Which wasn't anything further. In the meantime I've been trying to find out what I could, such as online etc. And today I was finally able to confirm that yes she is dead.

    This woman was more than a friend. She literally was an adoptive older sister to me. When my parents, my mother specifically, was going through terrible times (in and out of psyche wards, hospitals, cutting herself, suicide attempts) she was there for me. She took me out all the time. We went shopping, to movies. She took me to R rated movies, gave me work to do with her husbands business so I could earn extra money, made her husband sell me his old car for a really cheap price. She said I was her family, and she did everything she could for me. I wouldn't have made it through those years without her.

    Then she hit some hard times and everyone turned their back on her, when she was the one who was ALWAYS helping people. She got DF'd before I did, and I was never able to re-establish contact with her. Then I heard that she killed herself, well after the fact, and only confirmed it, MYSELF, now. I didn't even get to go to her funeral, to say goodbye, nothing. She was one of the most important people to me and because of religous rules she didn't get the help she needed, and I never found out about it until it was too late.

    I absolutely LOATHE and DESPISE the organization. They are most disgusting bunch of heartless, vile wastes of so called "humans" I have ever heard of.

  • BBOARD
    BBOARD

    I agree with you 100 % though my JW stories are different than yours.

  • dawg
    dawg

    Damn man, that was really depressing to read... what the f##k is worng with these people? Please accept my condolenses.

  • llbh
    llbh

    She sounds like a lovely and special lady, what sadness and sorrow for everyone. They have very little idea how to be kind to people. i am very sorry to hear of your loss/
    llbh

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    (((((((((((((FEENX))))))))))))

    My heart goes out to you with this awful tragedy happening to someone you cared about deeply. You weren't able to go to her funeral to grieve and say goodbye so perhaps you need to say goodbye to her in a different way. Just a suggestion but one that was given to me is to write a letter to her and tell her your feelings and then say goodbye. I did this and then burnt the letter and visualised it going to the person.

    Whatever way you use, it is comforting to be able to say goodbye in some way.

    Maddie

  • 38 Years
    38 Years

    This is so sad. She deserved so much more. I'm sorry to hear of your loss. This is more proof of how selfish and brainwashed those "brothers and sisters" are. They are all responsible for what happened to her, whether they want to admit it or not.

  • Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit
    Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit

    Damn. I'm sorry you weren't able to be there, but as kind as she was, I'm sure there was someone there for her who loved her, remember that. As warmly as you remember her, I'm certain that she thought of you the same.

    So sorry for your loss on so many levels. The JWs suck so badly. They fulfill the 'end times' description of people 'having no natural affection'.

  • jaguarbass
    jaguarbass

    My condolences.

  • babygirl75
    babygirl75

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I hate that your friend felt that was her only way out of what she was dealing with and she couldn't get the help she needed. It's so sad of what an emotional toll the organization can put on a person.

  • AudeSapere
    AudeSapere

    ... and the witness spin on this may be that she is an example of what Satan's world does to Jehovah's servants when they leave the protection of the fold.

    They just refuse to see that it's not Satan's world that causes this extreme action. Quite often it's Jehovah's loyal followers who cause the anguish.

    -Aude.

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