Finally confronted my mother...

by Caedes 12 Replies latest jw friends

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  Caedes

  I finally had the chance to talk to my mum about growing up as a witness and my thoughts on her religion, needless to say it didn't go well.

  I don't think she has ever really worked out the implications are of what she believes, I pointed out that it is really difficult to relate to (and have a relationship with) someone who is looking forward to the day when her murderous little god kills her children. I don't think she really understood the point I was making or didn't want to think about the point I was making.

  It was quite liberating to finally say at least some of the things I have been thinking about for all this time but was offset by the fact that she had so little to say for herself. I asked what she would have done if I had been in need of a blood transfusion as a child and her only response was that my dad would have stepped in, I asked again what she would have chosen and she couldn't bring herself to answer.

  Every time she had a choice between her family and her religion, it was the religion every time. No words of encouragement for school or college, the only thing I ever heard off of her was 'when are you going to get baptised?'

  At this point the conversation went rapidly downhill and she was crying, not for our relationship but because I don't accept Jehobahs right to rule.

  I think that will be the last time I will see or speak to her as I really don't want to put myself through it again.

  Religion... what a crock
• 

  Funchback

  I'm sorry to hear thtat you may not ever speak to your mum again, but I am happy that you stood up for what you believe in. Be strong!
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  OnTheWayOut

  I think that will be the last time I will see or speak to her as I really don't want to put myself through it again.

  There is little hope for waking my mother up, but I will never totally give up.
  I may back off for peace of mind, but I will always try to reach her.
  Otherwise, I can relate to what you are saying. When forced into a
  decision such as medical treatments, she let someone else decide for the
  unapproved procedures for family members. That gave her an out.
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  oppgirl63

  I hate this religion...tears families apart. It's like these people have lost their ability to think.
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  drew sagan

  Seems like you have many inner frustrations that eventually came out in this conversation.
  
  You did what you felt you had to do. Personally it seems to me that you possibly came on rather strong and intimidating. Her reactions are typical and have very little to do with what she is really feeling or wanting. The goals of the group always suppress the inner person.
  
  The Watchtower has done a great job at helping its members build mental barriers around themselves. This makes it next to impossible for a proper dialog to occur. JWs are very disrespectful to fellows JWs, much more so than to people they meet in the ministry. While they might actually give respect to people that have not accepted their teachings (yet), fellow members of the group do not get the same kind of respect when they express doubts in what the Watchtower teaches.
  
  I personally wouldn't have gone about it in the manner you described, but to each his own.
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  mentalclearness

  At least you finally cleard the air. I remember until I had the talk with my mother we just kept on dancing around the obvious elephant in the room. Now maybe you can just focus on the usual superficial topics....
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  babygirl75

  everytime she had a choice between family and her religion, it was religion every time.

  I think that's basically the same with all JW parents. I haven't seen my parents in three months and called them and told them I was bringing my son down to see them this weekend. They told me as far as they knew they didn't have any plans but that if something came up (meaning if any of their JW friends would be around) they would call me. Makes me so angry! I know they love me, but why do they choose the religion, the society, over their own blood??? I would never do that to my child!
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  deaconbluez

  Sorry to hear that. My mom lashed out at me when I had this talk with her. Witnesses are implanted with a mental barrier by the organization and this barrier goes up anytime the conversation starts to challenge the current teachings of the organization. Once you start offering evidence that might disprove their teachings, they respond in a programmed way, to quickly shut the door of their mind to that evidence. Through that thought-control, the organization has been able to keep it's members enslaved since the presidency of Rutherford.
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  Hortensia

  Good for you to speak your mind. It doesn't help them if we avoid talking about the issues, and it doesn't help us. If more of us just tell the truth, maybe a few will wake up. I really liked how you compressed huge issues into one clear statement about your mother waiting for the day when her god murders her own children. That's what they believe, shorn of all the garbage that keeps them from facing that fact.
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  BrentR

  I had the exact same confrontation with my mom this weekend with the same results. It is very liberating and cleansing to get that out. I was able to shoot down every doctrinal excuse she tried on me. She has alot to think about now because I got alot of long pauses from most of my questions. If she gave snap JW answers she knew I was prepared for them so she had to think out her answers.

  They may be good JW debaters but they are not very good at logical debate.

  I know your frustration and anger.