I finally realised that my (now ex) husband had no intention of changing his abusive, manipulative ways. You know, in the mags they would give examples of people being wife-beaters, drunks, etc, and through becoming a witness they have changed. When my ex starting being abusive, I honestly thought he would be like one of these examples and see the 'error of his ways'.
Fast forward a couple of years, and the situation was the same, he had no incentive to change. He'd scream at me and the kids all the way to the hall, saying the most disgusting things. Then he'd get out of the car, Mr Righteous. I finally saw that he had no intention to change, it wasn't my fault he was the way he was, it was his choice, he could turn his anger on or off.
I went to the elders for help occasionally. They disfellowshipped him when he abused them. I stayed a witness because it seemed the only thing to do. I wasn't allowed to leave according to them. I eventually thought, the hell with this. I was isolated from everybody in the cong because it was public knowledge what he was like.
One day my mother said, do you want to spend eternity with the likes of them? I thought, good point, and that was it. My ex tried everything to make me go back, and be under control, but I wouldn't go. I started to play him at his own game, some psychological mind games. He left. I had no money, but it was bliss. And it's been bliss ever since.
rose petal
