Dr. Spok

reneeisorym

While I was a JW, I heard repeatedly that Dr Spok's techniques do not work. It was wordly psycology. We should follow the Bible's advice to not spare the "rod" or spoil the child. So now I'm trying to figure out how I stand on all of this and Dr. Spok came to mind. I know a couple who blame Dr. Spok's methods for their children's delinquent behavior (non-JW).

So is there really anything wrong with Dr Spok's ideals? Has his book changed so much in his 8th edition so it is much different now?

Gopher

That was Dr. Benjamin Spock. He wrote "Baby and Child Care". He told mothers they know more than they think they do. According to what I read, his emphasis was on being flexible and affectionate toward children, treating them as individuals. Before that, the whole mindset was that child rearing was mainly about discipline, and that you'd be spoiling children if you picked them up when they cried.

There was an outcry that he was leading America toward permissive parenting, and therefore he is to blame for any bad results and lawlessness in the younger generation from the 1960's on. I guess the conservative wing of society needed a scapegoat.

Because Spock was part of the anti-Vietnam war movement, some came to view him as the one to blame that so many Amercan youth had turned against the culture.

Since the WTS has little regard for individuality and places a high emphasis on discipline, it's no wonder that they sided with those who scapegoated Spock.

reneeisorym

Thanks a lot. That helped fill in the blanks for me. Is there a book explaining the benefits of the opposite (of Spok) parenting ideals? I would like to read both and make up my mind if possible. And talk to some adults who were raised both ways and see how they "turned out". This has really peaked my interest.

prophecor

Hi Renee, I truly believe that the pop-psychology of the late sixties has brought about a nation of pain, in the form of we adults who were raised during those times. We baby-boomers are a peculiar generation. I believe we have transfered a lot of misery to our children by being to soft on them.

Discipline, in its most correct format, is nothing bad. Those who try and administer discipline who have no good moral compass, or at least some profitable upbringing themselves, can inflict nothing but destruction upon a childs soul. That discipline has a tendency to become nothing other than abuse. So it helps if ones parents are, first, those who have lived thier lives with discipline and self control. Spare the rod? No!!! Spoil the child? Oh, Hell No!!! Discipline has its place. Even the rod, when necessary. Let's just be aware that the person holding the rod, needs to have balance in thier own life.

reneeisorym

I was raised quite harshly. My parents were so quick to use the rod ... I know I want to be much more loving and compasionate than they were. I feel that the Spok psycology is too easy and that children do need discipline. I think I'm trying to find my balance. I don't want to copy my parent's mistakes ... but don't want to raise crazy spoiled brats either !!

Gopher

I feel that the Spok psycology is too easy

That's the common notion about Spock. But you'd have to really read it to see whether it is too easy. You may find it balanced.

and that children do need discipline.

I don't think anyone, even Spock when he was alive, would disagree. It's just a matter of a balanced, consistent approach. The "children should always be kept in their place" crowd isn't right, and neither is the "let children learn figure out everything for themselves" bunch.

prophecor

A commentary on raising children with discipline.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=MYXpe9VNEiA

Should you be so inclined.

5go

Even the rod, when necessary.

Are you saying hitting a child is good idea? I don't think any one other than certain bible zealots thinks that is a good idea ever. Never ever hit a child period you just instill the idea it is OK to hit some one when you are mad, and that is if you bothered you to reason with them. If you don't bother to reason with them it's straight abuse and you should be in jail.

LoverOfTruth

I was more into James Dobson's books when I was a JW. And I got into trouble with the elders when they found out. I ignored them and raised four happy, healthy Children.

Happy Harvester

Adele Faber's and Elaine Mazlisch's How To Talk So Kids Will Listen, And Listen So Kids Will Talk was invaluable to me while working with preschoolers and with my own daughter. It helped me stay sane and compassionate. I was re-reading it recently and realized that much of the good advice was forgotten as my daughter got older.But, she's a pretty good egg, anyway.

Dr. Spok

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