ever been duped.. Like really bad?

by Billzfan23 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23

    Anyone ever think they know someone...and find out later that it was all a bunch of smoke and mirrors?

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23

    I am not talking about the kind of duped where you are promised a paradise and everylasting life, and your realize you are in a cult... I am talking about relationship duped.. Like... did anyone ever just completely turn out to be completely different that what you thought they were... I will elaborate..
    The girl that I have been dating for the past 6 months just goes AWOL on me... before we met, she had just broken up with a Continental airline pilot from southern New Hampshire. She takes a job in Human Resources at my company, and we start dating... Supposedly, this guy is completely out of her life, she moves in with me and was living with me for the past 3 months.

    Then, out of nowhere - she pulls an elaborate scheme. She tells me that her father had a heart attack, and that she has to leave and go to Florida to take care of him and help her family out. She leaves work one day at 8:30 in the morning, goes to our apartment, packs all of her stuff, and heads off to "Florida" - then avoids my calls for 4 days, finally telling me that she has to stay there and it's too hard for her to have a relationship with me here in MA when she's needed in Florida by her family.

    She even emails her boss explaining her dad's health situation and writes some real touching and heartwarming stuff about all the employees that she worked with in HR - explaining how sorry she is that she can't give 2 weeks notice and that she's "needed by her family in Florida" Her best friend (another coworker here) gets a call from her where she tells her how disappointed she is that she can't see the New England foliage and that it is brutally hot in Florida and she misses home.. SHE WAS NEVER THERE and I finally got her to admit it.. I had a 45 minute conversation with her boyfriend..and he finds out from me that she had been lying to him about me the past few months.. According to him, she came clean to him after scheming her fake visit to Florida and now... in his words.. "they are going to couple's counseling so that they can work things out and be together" WHAT!!!!

    I am glad I found out now... but man, talk about having your heart cut out and having it fed to you...

    I find out a week later that she never even went to FL... she's back in NH with her old boyfriend...
    I would have taken a bullet - if a gun was to my head I would have never guessed that she was lying... talk about being duped... my daughter mopes around the house writing her letters and cards that I can't mail... and says "Daddy, _____ loves us, and when her daddy is all better, she will be back" This is without a doubt the most stunned I have ever been over anything in my life.. Anybody else ever get completely shocked before like this? I remember seeing movies on TV where the cops show up to inform the wife that her husband has another wife and family in another town, etc... but always figured that was just TV.. sooo surreal...

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever

    I am so sorry. With all you have been through with your ex wife and now this. I think your ex needs to fly over to England and be with you know who. Again I am so sorry........

  • Brother Apostate
    Brother Apostate

    Sure, happens all the time. Who can know the heart of a woman? No worries, plenty o' fish in the sea...

    Ive been around for you
    Ive been up and down for you
    But I just cant get any relief
    Ive swallowed my pride for you
    Ive lived and lied for you
    But you still make me feel like a thief

    You got me stealin your love away
    cause you never give it
    Peeling the years away
    And we cant relive it
    I make you laugh
    And you make me cry
    I believe its time for me to fly

    You said wed work it out
    You said that you had no doubt
    That deep down we were really in love
    Oh, but Im tired of holding on
    To a feeling I know is gone
    I do believe that Ive had enough

    Ive had enough of the falseness
    Of a worn out relation
    Enough of the jealousy
    And the intoleration
    I make you laugh
    And you make me cry
    I believe its time for me to fly

    {refrain} time for me to fly
    Oh, Ive got to set myself free
    Time for me to fly
    And thats just how its got to be
    I know it hurts to say goodbye
    But its time for me to fly

    Oh, dont you know its...
    {refrain}

    Its time for me to fly
    {repeat to end}

  • Scully
    Scully

    So sorry to hear this billzfan. I can only imagine how crushing it must feel to be on the receiving end of such a scam.

    I hope she doesn't have any credit cards in your name, or any other debt that she could try to palm off on you, or is using information about you to commit identity theft or fraud. That would be adding insult to injury, imo.

    Have your locks changed and don't ever let her back. She's someone you will never be able to trust again.

  • Billzfan23
    Billzfan23
    Have your locks changed and don't ever let her back. She's someone you will never be able to trust again.

    Doesn't seem possible that this little face would be capable of such things... Not many people surprise me.. and I think I am a decent judge of charachter... but this is something else..

    alt

  • ninja
    ninja

    while you were posing for that picture she was probably stealing your wallet from your trousers pocket

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever
    Doesn't seem possible that this little face would be capable of such things... Not many people surprise me.. and I think I am a decent judge of charachter... but this is something else..

    Listen to Scully and change those locks. I would also inform her bosses at work what she did and the false emails she sent out. I shutter to think of someone with her character working in HR.

  • primitivegenius
    primitivegenius

    hasnt happened to me billz but my cousin got hit a bit differently but someone he thought he would spend the rest of his life with changed drasticly.

    my cousin was married before to a girl he got pregnate. he was about to marry someone else and then ended up not marrying the girl he wanted to because he had a daughter with this girl.

    married her and a disaster on wheels bro. that marriage couldnt end fast enough, bad divorce, she took the lions share of everything he worked for( in the relationship he paid for everything and she worked to pay for HER truck and the rest of her money was hers to do with as she liked).

    so its not hard to imagine that he wasnt in a hurry to remarry.......... in fact he said for ages that he wouldnt ever get married again......... might let a girl live with him but he wasnt gonna marry her.

    got a family friends daughter to go out with him........ she moved into his house and lived there for over 2 or 3 years then all of a sudden she kept hitting him up for money. he had the same relationship with her he had with his ex wife........ her money paid for her bills and some groceries and his money paid for HIS house and the bills. her car was about to get reposessed...... so he bailed her out.... twice. then he thought it was ridulose that she had no bills to speak of and she apparently couldnt pay for her car so he told her he wouldnt bail her out again............. so next time they repoed her car........ dumb way to prove a point but he went and bought her a fixer upper and fixed it up. gave it to her............. then he started noticeing things missing......... especially his stashes of money.

    next thing you know she has a gambleing problem and is spending all her time away with friends............... then he finds out she is cheating on him.

    he refuses to pay her debts and tells her that she has a choice to make......... she decides to leave and he helps her move out.

    so she sleeps around with this guy and rumor mill says a couple more.............. then finds out she is Pregnate and claims its his............. he still loves her but he went through hell trying to work it out with her when the problems first started and dosent belive the child is his due to the fact and fiction that she slept with a minimum of one guy while they were together. she left him for this other guy so he dosent feel he can trust her ever again............. dna proves the kid is his unfortunately.

    my cousin isnt perfect by any means......... but he didnt see this comming at all. he even was considering marrying her before this hit the fan......... now hes just screwed.

    his response......... he wants nothing to do with mommy so he dosent have any contact with her or the child

    all i can say is no way will i be kept apart from a child of mine but thats his decision.

  • eclipse
    eclipse

    What she did was really lousy, and I'm sorry that you were hurt.

    She wanted to have her cake and eat it too.

    Many men do that, and it's almost acceptable as 'normal' in today's society.

    This young woman does it, tries to hide it, and tries to let you down easy (so you don't feel rejected) by fabricating a story.

    It seems like, all she wanted was out of the relationship with you without you getting hurt.

    She initially thought she wanted you on the side, and then she changed her mind and decided to try and make things work with her other boyfriend.

    I don't see an evil girl, just a young woman who was too scared to be honest with either of you.

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