sisters did you settle for less??

by karter 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • karter
    karter

    Due to the lack of Brothers did you marry down??

    I've seen it time and time again really lovely sister marry total dork.

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    I'm not going to say I settled for less, nor married "down". (That sounds arrogant to me.)

    But, our choices were limited and had I had more choices and experiences, I would

    probably not have married so very very young, nor chosen someone I was not really

    compatible with. But, as my mother said, "He's such a good boy. I've known his

    mother and father all his life. They love Jehovah. He'll make a fine husband."

    What do you say to THAT?!.......LOL

    (We're divorced today, but still friends and both out of the borg)

  • RisingEagle
    RisingEagle

    I'll show this thread to my wife when she gets home. I have a feeling her answer will be an unequivocal, "YES!!!"

    Personally, I prefer to think I married 'up'.

    Eagle, of the 'total dork' class

  • Jim_TX
    Jim_TX

    Hey! I resemble that remark!

    I was a single JW and was interested in this gal - who later married me - but at the time, she was 'interested' in a fella who was in Bethel. I got the dreaded 'I just want to be friends', speech.

    Turns out, he was interested in some other gal.

    She - not having a 'bethelite' - all of a sudden - was interested in me. Go figure. She had to 'settle' for less.

    Well... she ain't my wife anymore. Being a JW - ain't my cup of tea. She still is. She - last I knew - married a JW fella... perhaps he is an ex-bethelite, and she is now happy. I don't know - I don't have much contact with her anymore.

    Regards,

    Jim TX

  • LongHairGal
    LongHairGal

    Well...I hate to sound arrogant and I don't mean to hurt anybody's feelings, but I refused to settle for anybody there. My problem was that there was nobody in my age range except a few eccentrics who nobody would want. As far as women 'marrying up', unfortunately this is what they are taught and this is a hold-over from times past.

    In the 'world' today many women are with men who are not as accomplished or educated as they are. These women either didn't want or could not find anybody in their social or peer group. Sometimes an educated professional woman picks a sexy but blue collar kind of guy. This is okay.

    In the religion, I guess it is a matter of hit and miss depending on where you lived. There was more selection for women in younger age groups (18-25) than there was for women in other age groups. Most women over 30 had to look 'outside' for a suitable guy.

    LHG

  • Doubting Bro
    Doubting Bro

    Hey, us dorks need love too!!

    Yeah, I definately married "up" Although where I grew up, there were more young JW males than females for some reason. But, I moved to an area where the ratio was reversed.

    Doubting Bro of the "at least I reconized I married up and treat my wife as the princess she is" class

  • Finally-Free
    Finally-Free

    I was a deadbeat JW who was never even a MS. In spite of that, a pioneer™ sister™ married me against her better judgement. She should have listened to her inner voice and not married me, because I eventually turned apostate™ and our marriage ended anyway.

    W

  • emy the infidel
    emy the infidel

    I've seen it time and time again really lovely sister marry total dork.

    I have seen this too. I didn't want to say anything and possibly offend any fmr. bros. who may secretly fear they were dorky (of course you weren't!), or anyone who married a dork either, for that matter.

    One time, a very lovely sister was getting married to a very nice brother (uhhh, ....)? How do you put this gently? Well, they appeared to not be equally matched looks-wise, so to speak. And frankly, he was..........fairly slight of build, a good strong wind could've blown him away.

    So, the group of sisters threw the betrothed sister a lingerie party. She recv'd lots of good stuff. Considering the group, I was surprised to see some rather racey items and kept wondering if that brother was gonna know what hit him. He looked pretty lost most of the time to begin with.

  • yknot
    yknot

    This is what I had to choose from:

    Brother A: stole a car, later stole 20,000 dollars from old lady. Jail.

    Brother B: Best friends with known drug users, had his locker searched weekly by Vice Principal.

    Brother C: Already involved with other Sister, now married to each other

    Brother D: Stopped going awhile back, lived in "rival" football town.

    Brother E: Younger then me, I would walk all over him.

    Brother F: Old enough to make my mom say NO, immediately!

    Brother Unknown from Assembly: Not allowed to leave my seat at assembly, bathroom breaks are timed, so no social contacts were made.

    ************************************************************************************************************

    Final Decision: Awesomely handsome, Southern Baptist blind rodeo date.

    Needless to say I was denied a KH wedding.

  • Dorktacular
    Dorktacular

    I know quite a few brothers who married "down", too. When young men in my congregation expressed frustration about the lack of sisters to date, the elders (some of them) actually suggested that we all go on road trips to different congregations on Sundays to see what we could find! To me, that was kind of like cruising the singles bars for a one night stand. Needless to say, many of these brothers snatched up the first thing they could find with two legs a hole and a heartbeat and settled down. One of my very good friends did this. He is now divorced from his worthless JW wife and remarried. And out of the borg. Yay. Another friend of mine finally found a "sister" to date. He did all kinds of stuff for her. Fixed her car, painted her house, loaned her money, etc., etc., and never got anything in return. She even accepted the engagement ring. When it came time to marry, she refused because he wasn't "spiritual" enough. He was good enough to do all this stuff for her before she dumped him, though. He went into a deep depression after this. I didn't see him for months. Well, a while back I learned that he, too left the borg after being DFed for "fornication". Hell, he tried his best to remain faithful in the organization, but just how damn old do you have to be before you lose your virginity??? He was in his early 30s. I think they should have given him a medal, personally!

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