The ability to let go... Do Jws/ex-JWs have a problem with this?

by restrangled 19 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  restrangled

  This is in no way meant to be an accusation. It's just a question. It could also be just human nature in general, or a personality type that was attracted to this religion in the first place.

  It seems that several problems on this board just won't die a peaceful death. Do you find your self obsessing with certain subjects. Do you find yourself obsessing with your own past history? Have you found inner peace yet or are you still aggravated and/or tortured on a daily basis?

  I reiterate there is absolutely no accusations or assumptions being made here, its just a question. What is your opinion and how do you feel personally.

  r.
• 

  OUTLAW

  Nothing dies until it`s ready to..My ex-mother inlaw is a perfect example of that..LOL!!...OUTLAW
• 

  Junction-Guy

  I will happily let go, once the WT Society headquarters is padlocked, confiscated, and bulldozed to the ground, until then Im in it for the long haul.
• 

  nvrgnbk

  I feel both accused and assumptiated upon.

  No.

  Really.

  I think it's a process.

  It seems like weeks, but Trevor was exposed just three days ago.

  The fraudulent activity took place over a period of just under three years.

  It'll soon be forgotten.

  But it's not unhealthy to think about and discuss what we may have learned from it.

  It is unhealthy to pretend things don't affect us when in reality they do.

  Good topic, r.
• 

  Who are you?

  Do you find your self obsessing with certain subjects

  I'm obsessing with the fact that no one called DH out for using pepper spray. Oh yeah there was all that hoopla .....but no one mentioned that using pepper spray is not a very manly way to settle a dispute. How did they settle disputes at the KH? Walk twenty paces and fire a paper airplane at your opponent?
• 

  Purza

  My mother is a JW lifer and she will not let things go. . . ever. She will remember what you said 16 years, 3 days, 2 hours and 4 minutes ago. And she will bring it up continually until you are driven insane. Perhaps it is related to her being a JW.

  Purza
• 

  restrangled

  My husband, "who are you" and "Outlaw" both had me shrieking with laughter.....thank you both for the comedic relief....the best medicine there is!

  r.
• 

  ESTEE

  My ex-mother inlaw is a perfect example of that..LOL!!...OUTLAW

  ROFL!!!!!Love your sense of humour, OUTLAW!!!

  Yup . . . it's a process --- takes time.

  Love to all

  ESTEE
• 

  the dreamer dreaming

  we fall in love with the reflection of our own idealized self... those of us who joined JWs saw something of our ideals in them and thought they would be the right ones to re-inforce them... but like all others, they took our ideals and claimed to know that we had a flawed one and theirs was THE TRUTH and gradually they had us compare our lives to THEIR ideals...always presenting the IDEAL hive drone and his place within the hive and how we did not measure up and could not hope to measure up in this life, but needed to strive to be just like him in everything we did...and just needed to ask forgiveness where we fell short and that would make it all better. many of our ideals are hidden within us and go unexamined and because of this we might have felt a certainty about JWs that was false to begin with and this allowed them to mold us to their distorted image. ======= as to letting go, the past is a ghost which can only haunt you with the energy you give it. until you understand that you yourself are haunting yourself, you may feel victimized by the past...but the past has no substance beyond data in your mind and you have the ability to manipulate that data and deal with it any way you have gained the skill to do so...its just a matter of learning new skills and techniques rather than constantly fighting your own minds activity. ======== here are a few- 1. name what you see around you. this forces your mind to the present moment... it can break the emotional power grip a strongly negative expeirence has over you. as you feel the grip of the past wane, you can focus more on what you are currently doing rather than what cannot be undone. you can ACCEPT that yes, that DID infact happen and NO ONE can alter one step and YES it is over and done and CANNOT harm you as it did in the past without your allowance. 2. scan your body from head to toe for muscles being held tight...often sub-conscious emotional ideas manifest in clenched muscles... find them and relax those muscle groups... generally around the shoulders and the butt. this will cause an internal chain reaction, the body is a feedback loop. happy thoughts lead to smiling and smiling leads to happy thoughts... no one can sing the hee haw song without smiling and feeling better. 3. intellectually you can tell yourself that ALL THINGS ARE AS THEY MUST BE because NO ONE can alter a single moment of the past... reality is about forces of nature behaving as their nature dictates, the myth of freewill gives the illusion that reality could have been and damn-it! should have been different from the life you remember living. letting go of this myth leads to the peace of acceptance. there is no one to blame for your life being what it is, there is no one who lives a life outside of nature.
• 

  LoverOfTruth

  I certainly don't obsess with my past; I'm too busy with Life.

  As long as my oldest child and one of my Dearest Friends is part of the WT Organization, I will have a Vested Interest in it.