by REBORNAGAIN 24 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
"Ask and you shall receive." 1 John 3:22,
The joke of the day. I was on my way home from work today and thought about this scripture, specifically the number of people in this world who have done exactly that and it got them NOWHERE! Is it any wonder people don't believe in God?
LINDA
What's your number?
Jerimiah 4:19 and 21
Favorite to quote out of context... or after eating chili
19 My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war.
21 Touch not; taste not; handle not;
There are so many absurd verses to choose from, I had a hard time.
Here's one : Exodus 34:14 -- God's name is Jealous.
So that's who all you believers should be praying to. Jealous (not Jesus or Yahweh).
1 Corinthians 7: 36 "But if anyone thinks he is behaving improperly toward his virginity, if that is past the bloom of youth, and this is the way it should take place, let him do what he wants; he does not sin. Let them marry." NWT
"But if any man think that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of [her] age, and need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry." KG
So if your past the years of pro-creating(virginity, flower of her age) who cares if you comit fornication, it is not a sin let them marry!
I wont argue with God! so why would the Jehovah Witnesses every disfellowship an older person for doing what they want, it is not a sin? So if your an old virgin and you have been sitting at the kingdom too long go get laid, it is not a sin!
OK I am being sarcastic!
I'm with Gopher on this one....there are so many to choose from!
One that comes to mind right now is Proverbs 5:19 where it speaks of your wife as "a charming mountain goat."
That really makes you ladies feel special, huh?
Of course, thats how its rendered in the NWT; most others say "deer" or "doe."
Leave it to the the WTS to come up with mountain goat.
Of course, thats how its rendered in the NWT; most others say "deer" or "doe."
Actually there are two parts to the passage. The first part in the NWT does mention a deer or doe it just uses the archaic word lovable "hind" which opens itself up for all kinds of jokes huh? 
I guess solomon was a 'butt man' too
we have a little sister who hasnt any breasts....
dunno where it is , i guess i blocked it out.. i was flat chested till i had babies and my sisters LOVED picking on me about it.grrrrr
My favourite is from Judges 3:21-22
21 Then E´hud thrust in his left hand and took the sword off his right thigh and plunged it into his belly.
22 And the handle kept going in also after the blade so that the fat closed in over the blade, for he did not draw the sword out of his belly, and the fecal matter began to come out.
It's so discusting that it's funny :-)
kifoy
"Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits." - 1 Corinthians 15:33
I swear that if i EVER hear that scripture come out of my mother's mouth again, I will....I will...well...I will do something!
