My Mom's Reaction On The Phone...Please Help Me Understand

deaconbluez

After I wrote my parents a 10-page letter going into detail about all of the problems with the Watchtower, along with documented evidence of false prophecies/predictions, flip-flops in doctrine, as well as MANY good reasoning points, she put up some very strong defenses over the phone. At first she said that she read the letter. Then when we got on a topic that was covered in the letter, and I could see that she didn't comprehend the point that I was making, I would ask her, "Are you sure you read the letter?" and she then said, "Well, I read the first page of it and got kinda upset, so I stopped reading." She even got nasty at one point. Here's her main take on it:

She claims that I would LOVE to find something that proves the Watchtower to be false...because then that would allow me to live whatever lifestyle that I choose. The thing is, I don't live a questionable lifestyle. I life an upstanding Christian life. I help those in need when I can. I don't drink, smoke, swear. I read the Bible daily and strive to live my life by it's principles. In fact, if I were an active Witness right now, with my current lifestyle, I would be considered exemplary and in "good standing".

Can anybody please offer their input on her reaction? What does it mean? What is going on in her brain? What is a way to counter this treatment with in a spirit of love?

megsmomma

What you experienced is proof of the mental control the JW's are under. Their brains are conditioned in the way that they cannot accept or acknowledge anything contrary to what has been deeply ingrained in their minds. When I went to my mom with info I had found...thinking she would be amazed like I was about it all....she had a similar reaction...and screamed at me too.

I wish I had advise on something you could do to help them....but, I do not know of one. Sorry. I hate this religion.

AudeSapere

She is probably convinced that you are hiding something and are guilty of a 'secret sin'.

Sorry for your family woes. We are right there with you.

-Aude.

4mylove

Deaconbluez,

I'm sorry you got this response. I'm probably not your best bet because I've never been a witness. I just studied with a few people, have friends that are both active and inactive and married an inactive JW. Your problem just seems to drive the fact that the loyalty here is to the congo and not God. The most obvious way to tell Him you have doubts is by simply thinking them. To voice or to keep something from the congo shows there is fear of upsetting them not God. Again, cult mentality. Good luck to you.

4

REBORNAGAIN

Hey.....she has a copy of your letter in her possession and one day, if not today, she'll sit quietly and will no doubt read what you had to say. Then she will ponder over what is conveyed and will start thinking and you may just get a positive response from her after all. Be patient and if what you told her is truth, she'll recognize it if it's meant to be. I have learned that things happen in our lives for a reason, and not always when or how we thought.

Keep your head up! It's obvious you care about her fate. Good for you!

Hugs!

LINDA

Gopher

Jason --

Sorry about this conflict. It's the JW "all-or-nothing" mentality, that if you voice an objection to ANY Watchtower teachings, than in their view you reject them as a whole.

And your mom seems to feel that by rejecting her religion, you are against HER somehow. I have a JW mom too, and they really take their beliefs personally and not objectively. (Grown people should be able to get along even while holding differing viewpoints, but my parents didn't want me to be my own man even into my 30's.)

It's hard because you are a good son, and want her to see it. Through her JW blinders, she just cannot.

BFD

Black and white.

JW = GOOD

Non JW = BAD

BFD

Awakened07

She claims that I would LOVE to find something that proves the Watchtower to be false...because then that would allow me to live whatever lifestyle that I choose.

This is sooo typical! All who are disfellowshipped or dissacociate themselves are looked upon as people who do it because they want to be free to sin! But in many cases, my own and yours included, that's simply not the case! But they can't wrap their mind around the possibility that what they've been taught is simply not right! Sorry for all the exclamation marks...

AK - Jeff

To a Witness - 'living a poor lifestyle' is not always, or even often, about living a lifestyle that differs materially from the one they live. It is about living a lifestyle without the Jw religion at center.

This is what allows, in fact compels them to willingly shun those who leave, and who arguably live an even more exemplary Christian life than the one they lead. To them, anyone who does so is just a 'whitewashed grave' of deceit and falsehood. There can be nothing posiitve outside the realm of 'Jehovah's people' to them. They must adopt this attitude to justify the continual condemnation of others that, if judged fairly by the actions and lifestyle they live [not that I condone judging others on any basis], would surely show that the religion they accept produces no better, and in many cases worse people.

Jeff

changeling

"In a spirit of love", continue to love your mom. Agree to disagree. Don't force your issues on her.

Realize that to a witness parent you will never "measure up" if you are not gung-ho in the "truth". They have been taught to think this way.

It hurts, I know, because I've not wrapped my brain around it yet myself. But I keep trying.

Hang in there,

changeling

My Mom's Reaction On The Phone...Please Help Me Understand

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