My mind won't shut off !

by Maddie 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    It is after 3am and I am sitting here on my own not being able to sleep. This seems to happen to me quite often lately and my head is like a washing machine - going round and round. I am going to see the doctor tomorrow and tell him how I am feeling. It's at times like this when I want everything to be a bad dream so that when I wake up everything is going to be alright and the whole scenario of my involvement with the borg isn't real.

    Facing life on life's terms is so difficult for me sometimes. It would be so much easier to escape in a bottle of booze but that isn't an option for me these days. Some people believe that everything that happens to us is for a reason and a learning curve, that we grow from the difficulties we experience. Perhaps they are right, but it seems to me that some people have the tools to withstand the "slings and arrows of outrageous fortune" better than others. I don't think I'm feeling sorry for myself, just trying to think things through.

    Maybe I need to analyse my situation in life and make some changes in the way I think and act, or perhaps I am a little depressed which makes everything seem worse. I just hope that one day I will be a stronger person. Some of you guys seem to cope so well most of the time so it gives me hope that I will come through it.

    Thanks for being here,

    Maddie

  • prophecor
    prophecor

    Hi Maddie. I understand your plight. It can be difficult navigating thru life on our own, without the automatic pilot of having been JW. It gets a little hairy out there. Its still a bit hairy for me, now. I'd much rather have the keys to the prison cell and the power to walk out, than to be a political prisoner of the WTB&TS and never knowing I was under arrest. Life will turn you a better circle one day. Patience....The clock and the calendar changes everything for us, in time. Strength and Honour.

    Arthur

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    yeah, it's hard to shut off that repetitive thinking some times. Especially when you can't sleep. They have some pills for that now! I'm joking a little, but the truth is, I take relexa or I wouldn't be able to sleep for the same reason. You need some sleep, hope your doctor can help you. It's easier to function and get on with life if you can get some sleep.

    my shrink said, not that this has anything to do with you, but he said that post traumatic stress disorder eventually goes away - it's really a period of time of recovering from intense and/or long-term stress. He said it goes away faster with drugs and counselling. That's encouraging - I hope youfind that as time passes you feel better and I hope your doctor can help you some.

  • changeling
    changeling

    Maddie: I'm glad you are seeing your doctor tomorrow. If you are indeed depressed, he can help you.

    We've all been where you are Maddie. Leaving the org. is not easy. It's a life changing event.

    Change is good but it's stressfull.

    Hang in there,

    changeing

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere

    Sounds like you don't know how to "turn off". Do you ever work on something in order to keep your mind off something that is bothering you? Not healthy.

    Take two tokes of pot and call me in the morning.

  • return visitor
    return visitor

    Take arms against the sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them!!

  • Blueblades
    Blueblades

    Hi Maddie! I found that reading has helped me to get my mind off it's constant meandering. Find a book that interest you and start reading it in bed and before long you will be sleeping. I hope this helps you as it did me.

    Blueblades

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    Elsewhere - I would love to have some pot but it would only make me crazier than I already am I can't put anything addictive into my body because I will become dependent on it. I know from experience!

    I think counselling is a good idea and probably like you say "Time is a good healer"

    Maddie

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    TO BE OR NOT TO BE, THAT IS THE QUESTION

    WHETHER TIS NOBLER IN THE MIND

    TO SUFFER THE SLINGS AND ARROWS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE

    OR TAKE ARMS AGAINST A SEA OF TROUBLE

    AND BY OPPOSING END THEM............

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    Thanks everyone. I'm going to try to get some sleep now as it's nearly time to get up

    Maddie

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