Official protocol for DF family member

by ellderwho 21 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  ellderwho

  While talking with mom(active dub) this morning, I said " aren't you glad I was never baptised so you can still talk and have a mother son relationship'? Her response shocked me in that she said it wouldn't matter your still my son. DF'ed or not. And she would be able to talk with me, just cannot discuss the JW religion.

  I was always under the impression you would be shunned for the rest of your life, unless you went through the chain of command for reinstatement. Maybe I'm just out of touch with the official line on this.

  Little help, WT references please.

  EW: of the never baptised class.
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  WTWizard

  This is one subject that keeps changing. At one point, family members who are still living together, like siblings or parent/children, were allowed to continue family relations. Even cousins could associate, except religious discussions. However, just when you think you figured it out, they change the doctrine again. And, "conscience" issues come up where individuals and local congregations take a stricter stand than the "official" doctrine.

  And they talk about confusion among Babylon the Great. I wonder if that song they sing about once having been in Babylon's bondage applies to people that were once Jehovah's Witlesses but have extricated themselves from that cult.
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  aniron

  Try this link

  http://www.freeminds.org/doctrine/newdfpolicy2.htm

  http://www.freeminds.org/doctrine/simon.htm
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  dedpoet

  There's quite a lot of information here

  http://www.quotes-watchtower.co.uk/disfellowshiping.html

  including this

  Official Jehovah's Witnesses Media Relations Web Site, August 28, 2003

  Beliefs—Frequently Asked Questions

  […]

  Do you shun former members?

  Those who become inactive in the congregation, perhaps even drifting away from association with fellow believers, are not shunned. In fact, special effort is made to reach out to them and rekindle their spiritual interest. If, however, someone unrepentantly practices serious sins, such as drunkeness, stealing or adultery, he will be disfellowshipped and such an individual is avoided by former fellow-worshipers. Every effort is made to help wrongdoers. But if they are unrepentant, the congregation needs to be protected from their influence. The Bible clearly states: 'Remove the wicked man from among yourselves.' (1 Corinthians 5:13) Those who formally say they do not want to be part of the organization any more are also avoided. What of a man who is disfellowshipped but whose wife and children are still Jehovah's Witnesses? The spiritual ties he had with his family change, but blood ties remain. The marriage relationship and normal family affections and dealings can continue. As for disfellowshipped relatives not living in the same household, Jehovah's Witnesses apply the Bible's counsel: "Quit mixing with them." (1 Corinthians 5:11) Disfellowshipped individuals may continue to attend religious services and, if they wish, they may receive spiritual counsel from the elders with a view to their being restored. They are always welcome to return to the faith if they reject the improper course of conduct for which they were disfellowshipped.

  In my own experience, most jws shun me now, but a few still say hello.
  Any conversations are brief, however, and never touch on jw matters.
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  dobbie

  Personally since d'aing last year only one jw has spoken to me, all the others shun me, including my mother in law, she was at my son school to collect my nephew yesterday and styed as far away from me and my toddler as possible!She says to my husband she is not even allowed to walk into my house!

  I have spoken to ones via computer though that say their families do still see them etc albeit 'on the quiet'.

  Does anyone remember as i am positive there was something around this time last year or just before remnding them of the policy and it even mentioned younger ones living at home it was either the watchtower or kingdom ministry. I remember reading it just before i left and then a month later sis in law saying they had new updated information on the policy and they weren't meant to speak to me at all . Just wondering if anyone had a copy of this article but i threw all mine away.
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  JimWood

  Ahh, quite timely indeed. We are approaching our one-year anniversary of freedom. Since then I have had only one conversation with my mother, in short I asked her to please clarify here previous statement (8-months prior) when she called me Satanic. Have not spoken since (if there is a god insert thanks now). About 5 weeks ago there was a ‘local needs’ part given in all the surrounding Halls stating very clearly that family does not come first, let the shunning begin. The next day my wife’s parents turned off like a light as well as other DF’ed friends of our families all got the shunning on the same day. Oh its official that the family is dead last if they are not towing the Dub line.

  There is a KM article that specifically states that they should shun family members, I will find the date when I get home and post it.

  J
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  jwfacts

  There are some quotes at http://jehovah.net.au/disfellowship.html and the official line is still almost total avoidance of family members. However, I know many d/f people and families vary greatly as to how they follow the Watchower rules on treating each other. Some have not spoke a single word for decades, others keep in regular contact. I do know of family members that have been counselled for talking to their d/f children, and so most try to keep contact a secret.

  Kingdom Ministry August 2002 p.3 Display Christian Loyalty When a Relative Is Disfellowshipped "4 What about speaking with a disfellowshipped person? While the Bible does not cover every possible situation, 2 John 10 helps us to get Jehovah's view of matters: "If anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, never receive him into your homes or say a greeting to him." Commenting on this, The Watchtower of September 15, 1981, page 25, says: "A simple 'Hello' to someone can be the first step that develops into a conversation and maybe even a friendship. Would we want to take that first step with a disfellowshipped person?" 5 Indeed, it is just as page 31 of the same issue of The Watchtower states: "The fact is that when a Christian gives himself over to sin and has to be disfellowshipped, he forfeits much: his approved standing with God; . . . sweet fellowship with the brothers, including much of the association he had with Christian relatives."… 12 Benefits of Being Loyal to Jehovah: Cooperating with the Scriptural arrangement to disfellowship and shun unrepentant wrongdoers is beneficial. It preserves the cleanness of the congregation and distinguishes us as upholders of the Bible's high moral standards. (1 Pet. 1:14-16) It protects us from corrupting influences. (Gal. 5:7-9) It also affords the wrongdoer an opportunity to benefit fully from the discipline received, which can help him to produce "peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness."-Heb. 12:11. 13 After hearing a talk at a circuit assembly, a brother and his fleshly sister realized that they needed to make adjustments in the way they treated their mother, who lived elsewhere and who had been disfellowshipped for six years. Immediately after the assembly, the man called his mother, and after assuring her of their love, he explained that they could no longer talk to her unless there were important family matters requiring contact. Shortly thereafter, his mother began attending meetings and was eventually reinstated. Also, her unbelieving husband began studying and in time was baptized. 14 Loyally upholding the disfellowshipping arrangement outlined in the Scriptures demonstrates our love for Jehovah and provides an answer to the one that is taunting Him. (Prov. 27:11) In turn, we can be assured of Jehovah's blessing. King David wrote regarding Jehovah: "As for his statutes, I shall not turn aside from them. With someone loyal you will act in loyalty."-2 Sam. 22:23, 26."
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  greendawn

  There are so many people here that get shunned by their family members that it seems certain they have a shunning policy regardless of what they say. They have warped the thinking of their members to believe that one has to be cruel to be kind ie shun them so that they will be pressured to return and be saved from armageddon.
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  Honesty

  Those who formally say they do not want to be part of the organization any more are also avoided.

  That explains why the JW's run from me when I go to Wal-Mart.
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  Black Sheep

  I would imagine that the official position is the one on their official website.

  The situation is different if the disfellowshipped or disassociated one is a relative living outside the immediate family circle and home. It might be possible to have almost no contact at all with the relative. Even if there were some family matters requiring contact, this certainly would be kept to a minimum, in line with the divine principle: "Quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person [or guilty of another gross sin], . . . not even eating with such a man."
  — 1 Corinthians 5:11 .

  http://www.watchtower.org/e/19880415/article_01.htm

  Cheers

  Chris