Words and Possible Alternate Meanings

by Clam 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • Clam
    Clam

    I saw this the other day. The Washington Post apparently has a yearly contest where readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words -- and the winners were . . .


    1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

    2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you
    have gained.

    3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
    stomach.

    4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

    5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

    6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you
    absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

    7. Lymph (v), to walk with a lisp.

    8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash.

    9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up
    after you are run over by a steamroller.

    10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

    11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

    12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed
    by a proctologist immediately before he examines you.

    13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation
    with Yiddish expressions.

    14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

    15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die,
    your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there.

    Can you think of any?

  • Gopher
    Gopher

    Clam those are hilarious!! Wordplay is great fun.

    Did you ever hear of "Sniglets" by Rich Hall of the TV show Saturday Night Live? A sniglet is defined (by him) as any word that should appear in the dictionary, but doesn't.

    For example, "hozone" is the mysterious location where your socks disappear when you run them through the dryer.

    Here's a bunch more from the site: http://www.fortunecity.com/meltingpot/regent/827/sniglets.html

    ACCORDIONATED (ah kor' de on ay tid) adj. Being able to drive and refold a road map at the same time.

    ALPONIUM (al po' nee um) n. (chemical symbol: Ap) Initial blast of odor upon opening a can of dog food.

    ANTALIXIC (ant a lik' sik) n. One who passes over licorice jellybeans.

    AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.

    AQUALIBRIUM (ak wa lib' re um) n. The point where the stream of drinking fountain water is at its perfect height, thus relieving the drinker from (a) having to suck the nozzle, or (b) squirting himself in the eye.

    B+STAMPEDE (bee' plus stam peed?) n. The attempt by half the classroom to claim the paper with no name on it.

    BACKSPACKLE (bak' spak uhl) n. Markings on the back of one's shirt from riding a fenderless bicycle.

    BACKSPUBBLE (bak' spuh bul)n. Dishwater that disappears down one drain of a double sink and comes up the other.

    BALDAGE (bald' aj) n. The accumulation of hair in the drain after showering.

    BANECTOMY (bah nek' to mee) n. The removal of bruises on a banana.

    BARGARCS (bar' jarks) n. The streaks on a car's windshield from faulty wipers.

    BATHQUAKE (bath' kwake)n. The violent quake that rattles the entire house when the water faucet is turned to a certain point.

    BAZOOKACIDALTENDENCIES (bah zew' kuh sy dal ten' den seez) n. The overwhelming desire of most individuals to reach out and pop the gigantic gum bubble billowing from someone's mouth.

    BEAVO (bee' vo) n. A pencil with teeth marks all over it.

    BIZOOS (bih zews') n. The millions of tiny individual bumps that make up a basketball.

    BLIBULA (blih' byu luh) n. The spot on a dog's stomach which, when rubbed, causes his leg to rotate wildly.

    BLITHWAPPING (blith' wap ing) v. Using anything but a hammer to hammer a nail into the wall, such as shoes, lamp bases, doorstops, etc.

    BLOOAGE (blew' ij) n. The residue left on fingers after using an S.O.S. pad.

    BLURFLE (bler' ful) v. To be caught talking at the top of one's lungs when the music at the bar or disco suddenly stops.

    BOVILEXIA (bo vil eks' e uh) n. The uncontrollable urge to lean out the car window and yell "Moo!!" every time you pass a cow.

    BRAZEL (brah' zul) n. The scratch plate on a matchbook.

    BUBBLIC (buh' blik) adj. Addicted to the systematic popping of the bubbles in packing material.

    BUCKLINT (buck' lint) n. The fine red and blue threads running through new dollar bills.

    BURBULATION (ber byu lay' shun) n. The obsessive act of opening and closing a refrigerator door in an attempt to catch it before the little automatic light comes on.

    BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals.

    BUSBLENDER (bus' blen dur) n. The device at the front of the bus that tosses your fare around for a while, then swallows it.

    BUTTNICK (but' nik) n. The crevice on an ashtray where the cigarette rests.

    BUZZACKS (buz' aks) n. People in phone marts who walk around picking up display phones and listening for dial tones even when they know the phones are not connected.

    CABNICREEP (kab' nih kreep) n. The structural condition in which the closing of one kitchen cabinet causes another to open.

    CALTITUDE (kal' tih tood) n. The height to which a cat's rear end can rise to meet the hand stroking it.

    CARPERPETUATION (kar' pur pet u a shun) n. The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string or a piece of lint at least a dozen times, reaching over and picking it up, examining it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.

    CELLOSTATIC (sel oh stat' ik) adj. The electrical property of cracker and cigarette wrappers that causes them to stick to your hand.

    CHAIN GANG WALK (chayn gang wok) n. Activity observed in the footwear section of cheap department stores where the shoes are wired together "for your convenience."

    CHECKUARY (chek' yew air ee) n. The thirteenth month of the year. Begins New Year's Day & ends when a person stops absentmindedly writing the old year on his/her checks.

    CHEERIOMAGNETIZATION (cheer ee oh mag net i zay' shun) n. The tendency of the last four or five Cheerios in the bowl to cling together for survival.

    CHICLEXODUS (chik ul eks' oh dus) n. Any attempt by a gum ball to sneak out of the chute and roll past the buyer.

    CHIPFAULT (chip' fawlt) n. The stress point on a potato chip where it breaks off and stays behind in the dip.

    CHOCONIVEROUS (chahk o niv' ur us) adj. The tendency when eating a chocolate Easter bunny to bite off the head first.

    CHUBBLE (chuh' bul) n. The aerobic movement combining deep-knee bends and sideways hops used when trying to fit into panty hose.

    CLUMFERT (klum' furt) n. The invisible extra step at the top and bottom of a staircase. Usually materializes when one is carrying a large bag of groceries.

    COEGGULANT (ko eg' yu lent) n. The white things in a plate of scrambled eggs.

    CREEDLES (kre' dulz) n. The colony of microscopic indentations on a golf ball.

    CUBELO (kyew' beh lo) n. The one cube left by the person too lazy to refill the ice tray.

    CUSHUP (kush' up) v. To sit down on a couch somehow causing to cushion next to you to rise.

    DASHO (da' show)n. The area between a car's windshield and dashboard, where coins, pencils, etc cannot be humanly retrieved.

    DILLRELICT (dil rel' ikt) n. The last pickle in the jar that avoids all attempts to be captured.

    DIMP (dimp) n. A person who insults you in a cheap department store by asking, "Do you work here?"

    DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will remove all the germs.

    DOGNUT (dawg' nut) n. The giant nut on the side of a fire hydrant.

    DOOR SLINKY (dor slin' kee) n. The springy device attached to the back of a door that prevents the door from marring the wall.

    DOORK (dawrk) n. A person who always pushes on a door marked "pull" or vice versa.

    DOWNPAUSE (down' pawz) n. The split second of dry weather experienced when driving under an overpass during a storm.

    DRYLOWGRAPHS (dry' loh grafs) n. Strange, unintelligible symbols that accompany the washing instructions on clothing labels.

    EASTROTURF (ee' stroh terf) n. The artificial grass in Easter baskets.

    ECNALUBMA (ek na lub' ma) n. A rescue vehicle which can only be seen in the rearview mirror.

    EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit.

    ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater.

    ELECELLERATION (el a sell er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster it will arrive.

    ELEVERTIGO (el uh vur' tig oh) n. The sensation one experiences when an elevator stops or takes off too suddenly.

    EUFIRSTICS (yew fur' stiks) n. Two people waiting on the phone for the other to hang up first.

    EXASPIRIN (eks as' prin) n. Any bottle of pain reliever with an impossible-to-remove cotton wad at the top.

    EXPRESSHOLES (eks pres' holz) n. People who try to sneak more than the "eight items or less" into the express checkout line.

    FETCHPLEX (fech' pleks) n. State of momentary confusion in a dog whose owner has faked throwing the ball & palmed it behind his back.

    FICTATE (fik' tayt) v. To inform a television or screen character of impending danger under the assumption they can hear you.

    FLOPCORN (flop' korn) n. The unpopped kernels at the bottom of the cooker.

    FLOTION (flo' shun) n. The tendency when sharing a waterbed to undulate for five minutes every time the other person moves.

    FLUGGLING (flug' ul ing) v. The dangerous practice, in a darkened room, of using one's finger to guide the end of an electrical plug into a wall socket.

    FRANKFLUID (frank flew' id) n. The liquid at the bottom of hot dog packages.

    FRAZNIT (frahs' nit) n. Any string hanging from an article of clothing, which when pulled causes the article to completely unravel.

    FRUST (frust) n. The small line of debris that refuses to be swept onto the dust pan and keeps backing a person across the room until he finally decides to give up and sweep it under the rug.

    FRUSTRA (frus' trah) n. The special plastic used in the manufacture of fast-food ketchup packets.

    FURBULA (fer' byew luh) n. The designated chewing area on a dog's back.

    FURNIDENTS (fer' nih dents) n. The indentations that appear in carpets after a piece of furniture has been removed.

    GANGLOOT (gan' glewt) n. Person who leaves all his ski passes on his jacket just to impress people.

    GLACKETT (glak' it) n. The noisy ball inside a spray-paint can.

    GLANTICS (glan' tiks) n. Two people, who, while making out, open their eyes at the same time to see if the other is looking.

    GRANTNAP (grant' nap) n. The extra five minutes of sleep you allow yourself that somehow makes all the difference in the world.

    GREEDLING (gree' dling) v. pretending to read the inscription on the birthday card when you really just want to know how much the check is for.

    GRINION (grin' yun) n. The unsightly indentation in the middle of a belt when it has been worn too long.

    GRINTIGER (grin' tuh jer) n. The numbered code on the back of a greeting card that, when deciphered, reveals the price.

    GUMMERATOR (gum' uhr ay ter) n. The pointed rubber object on the end of some toothbrushes.

    HOUNDWOUNDING (hownd' wown ding) n. Canine act of circling a spot three or four times before sitting on it.

    IGNISECOND (ig' ni sek und) n. The overlapping moment of time when the hand is locking the car door even as the brain is saying "my keys are in there!"

    INKSLICK (ink' slik) n. A greasy spot on a piece of stationary or test paper.

    JAVA-VU (jah' vah-voo) n. Phenomenon of constantly adjusting the sugar/cream level of your coffee to your liking, only to have a waitress come along and ruin it again.

    LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side.

    MAGNAGRAM (mag' nuh gram) n. Any sign that takes on a new meaning when a magnetic letter falls off.

    MAGNIPHOBIA (mag ni fo' be uh) n. The fear that the object in the side mirror is much much closer than it appears.

    McMONIA (muk moan' ee uh) n. (chemical symbol: Mc) Noxious gas created by fast-food employee mopping under your table while you're eating.

    MEMNANTS (mem' nents) n. The chipped or broken M&M's at the bottom of the bag.

    METHYLPHOBIA (meth il fo' be uh) n. The fear that you are going to have to pay for the one cent you over-pumped at the self-service station.

    MITTSQUINTER (mit' skwint ur) n. A ballplayer who looks into his glove after missing the ball, as if, somehow the cause of the error lies there.

    MOPEEPS (moh' peeps) n. People compelled to look through the curtain opening of your motel room as they pass by.

    MOPHENES (mo' feenz) n. The semi-truck headlights that invade your motel room at three in the morning.

    MOTODRIFT (moh' toh drift) n. The mistaken belief at a stoplight that your car is moving backwards when, actually, the car beside you is moving forwards.

    MOZZALASTICS (maht suh las' tiks) n. Large deposits of cheese that stick to the top of the pizza box.

    MULTIPOCHOHOLES (mul ti po' cho holz) n. wounds left in test papers from over-erasing.

    MUMMABOLIC CHORUS (mum uh bah' lik ko' rus) n. When three or more people are singing along to a tune and suddenly discover they are all faking their way through the unintelligible lyrics.

    MUMPHREYS (mum' freez) n. Those strange extra digits you find on push-button phones.

    MUSQUIRT (mus' kwirt) n. The water that comes out of the initial squirts of a squeeze mustard bottle.

    NAPJERK (nap' jurk) n. The sudden convulsion of the body just as one is about to doze off.

    NEGATILE (neh' guh tyl) n. An area of the bathroom floor where, somehow, the scale registers you five pounds lighter.

    NEONPHANCY (ne on' fan see) n. A fluorescent light bulb struggling to come to life.

    NERKLE (nur' kel) n. A person who leaves his Christmas lights up all year.

    NEUTRON PEAS (new' tron peez) n. Tiny green objects in TV dinners that remain frozen even when the rest of the food has been microwaved beyond recognition.

    NEVITTS (nev' itz) n. The sandpaper-like deposits on a cat's tongue.

    NOFLET (nahf' lit) n. The upward swirl of hair found on certain individuals such as Ronald Reagan and Big Boy.

    NURGE (nerj) v. To inch closer to a stoplight thinking that will cause it to change quicker.

    OPLING (op' pling) n. The act, when feeding a baby, of opening and closing one's mouth, smacking one's lips and making "yummy" noises, in the hope that baby will do the same.

    OPUP (op' uhp) v. To push one's glasses back on the nose.

    P-SPOT (pee' spaht) n. The area directly above the urinal in public restrooms that men stare at, knowing a glance in any other direction would arouse suspicion.

    PEDAERATION (ped air ay' shun) n. Perfect body heat achieved by having one leg under the sheet & one hanging off the edge of the bed.

    PEDLOCK (ped' lahk) n. The condition of a bicycle pedal wedging itself against your leg.

    PELP (pelp) n. The crumbs and food particles that accumulate in the cracks of dining tables.

    PEPPIER (pehp ee ay') n. The waiter at a fancy restaurant whose sole purpose seems to be walking around asking diners if they want ground pepper.

    PERCUBURP (per' kyu berp) n. The final gasp a coffee percolator makes to alert you it is ready.

    PERMAPRESSION (pur' muh preh shun) n. The discovery that there is no real difference in the various cycles of your washing machine.

    PETONIC (peh ton' ik) adj. One who is embarrassed to undress in front of a household pet.

    PETROOL (pet' rul) n. The slow, seemi ngly en d less strand of motor oi l at the end of the can.

    PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling just as they answer.

    PHOSFLINK (fos' flink) v. To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out, as if, somehow, that will bring it back to life.

    POCKALANCHE (pok' uh lansh) n. Perpetual action of reaching down to pick up an item fallen from a shirt pocket, only to have another item fall out.

    PORKUS NON GRATIS (por' kus non grat' is) n. The scraggly piece of bacon at the bottom of the package.

    POSTALPORTS (poh' stuhl pawrtz) n. The annoying windows in envelopes that never line up with the address.

    PREMADERCI (pree muh dayr' chi) n. The act of saying goodbye to someone, then running into him/her again moments later (usually accompanied by a lame quip such as "you following me?")

    PULPID (puhl' pid) n. A kid who enjoys the carton more than the item that came in it.

    PUPKUS (pup' kus) n. The moist residue left on a window after a dog presses its nose to it.

    PUPSQUEAK (pup' skweek) n. The sound a yawning dog emits when it opens its mouth too wide.

    RAMPRIOT (ramp' ry uht) n. Free-for-all that erupts as soon the stewardess utters the phrase, "please remain in your seats until the plane has come to a complete stop."

    RELED (ree led') v. To reset all the digital clocks in the household following a power failure.

    RETROCARBONIC (ret ro kar bon' ik) n. Any drink machine that dispenses the soda before the cup.

    RICEROACH (rys' rohch) n. The burnt krispie in every bowl of Rice Krispies.

    RIGNITION (rig nih' shun) n. The embarrassing action of trying to start one's car with the engine already running.

    ROVALERT (ro' val urt) n. The system whereby one dog can quickly establish an entire neighborhood network of barking.

    RUBBAGE (rub' bij) n. Large pieces of truck tire found on the side of the road.

    SCADINK (ska' dink) n. The annoying buildup of ink on the end of a ball-point pen.

    SCANDROIDS (skan' droydz) n. The striped price codes which mysteriously began appearing on consumer products a few years ago.

    SCHLATTWHAPPER (shlat' wap ur) n. The window shade that allows itself to be pulled down, hesitates for a second, then snaps up in your face.

    SCHNUFFEL (shnuf' ul) n. A dog's practice of continuously nuzzling your crotch in mixed company.

    SCHWIGGLE (shwi' gul) n. The amusing rotation of one's bottom while sharpening a pencil.

    SCRIBLINE (skrib' line) n. The blank area on the back of credit cards where one's signature goes.

    SERVELENCE (surv' ul ents) n. The sudden lull in conversation that occurs at a table of diners when the food is served.

    SHUGGLEFTULATION (shug lef tuyl ay' shun) n. The actions of two people approaching, trying to get around each other, and muttering "thanks for the dance."

    SLOOPAGE (slu' paj) n. The tendency of hot dogs, hamburgers, and sandwich contents to slip from between their covers.

    SLOTTERY ANDVENDICATION (slot' er ee and ven' di kay shun) n. A public misdemeanor in which a person gambles on a vending machine, loses, and tries to exact revenge by kicking it.

    SLURM (slerm) n. The slime that accumulates on the underside of a soap bar when it sits in the dish too long.

    SNARGLE (snar' gul) v. To lessen the visual impact of a horror movie by filtering it through one's fingers.

    SNORFING (snorf' ing) n. The little game waitresses love to play of waiting until your mouth is full before sneaking up and asking, "Is everything okay?"

    SPECLUMS (spek' lums) n. The minuscule bumps on a strawberry.

    SPIRTLE (spur' tul) n. The fine stream from a grapefruit that always lands right in your eye.

    SPUBBLING (spub' ling) v. The superhuman feat of trying to wash one's hands and manipulate the "water saving" faucets at the same time.

    STROODLE (stru' dul )n. The annoying strand of cheese stretching from a slice of hot pizza to one's mouth.

    STRUMBLE (strum' bul) n. That invisible object you always pretend made you trip, when it was actually your own stupid clumsiness.

    SUBATOMICTOASTICLES (sub ah tom' ik toh' stik uhlz) n. Tiny fragments of toast left behind in the butter.

    SUCCUBEEBISH (suk yu be' bish) n. The gelatinous substance found surrounding canned hams and vienna sausages.

    TELECRASTINATION (tel e kras tin ay' shun) n. The act of always letting the phone ring at least twice before you pick it up, even when you're only six inches away.

    TEXTLICE (test' lys) n. Those tiny bugs that invade your hair when you're taking an exam.

    THERMALOPHOBIA (thur muh lo fo' be uh) n. The fear when showering that some one will sneak in, flush the toilet, and scald you to death.

    TILE COMET (ty ul kom' it) n. Any streamer of toilet paper attached to your heel as you emerge from a public restroom.

    TIREQUILLS (tyr' kwils) n. The small rubbery protrusions on new tires.

    TOASTATE (tohs' tayt) v. To impatiently pop toast up and down in the toaster, thus increasing the likelihood of burning it.

    TOILET TOUPEE (toy' lit too pay') n. Any shag carpet toilet cover that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus creating endless annoyance to male users.

    TRIDECKPICK (try dek' pik) n. A miniature sword or similar device used to hold a sandwich together.

    TUBSWIZZLE (tub' swi zuhl) v. To slide oneself back and forth in the bathtub in order to mix the too hot water with the cooler water.

    TWINCH (twinch) n. The movement a dog makes with its head when it hears a high-pitched noise.

    TWINKIDUE (twin' kee dew) n. The residue on the inside of the wrapper that every junk food addict eventually gets to.

    UHFAGE (uff' aj) n. The unit for determining a television's age, that is, the amount of time it takes for the picture to appear once the set has been turned on.

    UMBILINKUS (uhm bih link' us) n. The tiny appendage at the end of a link sausage.

    UMBRACE (uhm' brays) n. The small strap that holds an umbrella in place.

    UNFARE (un fayr') n. The dollar you owe the cab driver before you've even moved a foot.

    UNIPEA (yew' ni pee) n. A peanut with only one compartment.

    UPULS (yu' puls) n. The blank pages at the beginning and end of books, presumably placed there so you can rewrite the ending.

    VEGELUDES (vej' eh loodz) n. Individual peas or kernels of corn that you end up chasing all over the plate.

    VENDOVALUEIST (ven doh val' yew ist) n. A person who inserts his change according to value (nickels, dimes, quarters.

    WAFTIC (wahf' tik) adj. Describes any person in whose direction campfire or barbeque smoke always blows.

    WONDRACIDE (wun' druh syd) n. The act of murdering a piece of bread with a knife and cold butter.

    WOOWAD (wew' wad) n. Giant clumps of stuck-together rice served at Chinese restaurants.

    XEROXPOX (zee' roks poks) n. Skin disease of copier paper, characterized by the appearance of large black powdery blotches.

    XIIDIGITATION (ksi dij i tay' shun) n. The practice of trying to determine the year a movie was made by deciphering the roman numerals at the end of the credits.

    YINKEL (yeen' kul) n. A person who combs his hair over his bald spot, hoping no one will notice.

    YOTATE (yoh' tayt) v. To allow a yo-yo to unwind itself.

    ZEBRALANE (zee' bruh layn) n. The striped area between the interstate and the turnoff lane where cars go when drivers can't decide what to do next.

    ZEEPT (zeept) n. The accumulation of dead insects around an electric bug fryer.

    ZIPCUFFED (zip' cuft) v. To be trapped in one's trousers by a faulty zipper.

    ZIPPLE (zi' pul) n. A broken pop-top on a beer or soda can.

    ZIZZEBOTS (zi' ze bots) n. The marks on the bridge of one's nose visible when glasses are removed.
  • Clam
    Clam

    Good one Gopher! Thanks for those.Yes I've seen this type of wordplay before. We used to have a series of books here in the UK called The Meaning of Liff.. Very similar idea. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Meaning_of_Liff A big favourite of students.

    Clam

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    Purchase: noun - a mechanical hold to move or raise a heavy body.

    Lantern: noun - a small tower or cupola.

    Hanger: noun - a strap by which a sword or dagger is suspended.

    Pink: noun - a ship with an overhanging stern.

  • sweetstuff
    sweetstuff

    LOL, I just thinking of a couple, here's what I came up with at this late hour...

    Disfunction: The practice of dissing someone.

    Reconcile: Recognizing someone is senile.

    Impersonate: To imply a person procrastinates.

  • Leolaia
    Leolaia

    I watched Not Necessarily the News way back in the early '80s. I loved the sniglets and I regularly use "nerkle" in my own speech.

    What the first post presents are "daffynitions".

  • HAL9000
    HAL9000

    A local radio station has a competition each week (called the Dag's Dictionary) inviting all to devise a new word for a particular circumstance.

    Check out some of the words created so far.

    Airfauxbics (ayr’ fo biks) noun. Any sequence of stretching exercises designed to cover the fact that the person at whom you just waved turned out to be a complete stranger.

    Famnesia (fam nee’ zee ah) noun. The tendency to mix up the names of family members, calling the boy by the girl’s name, the father by the mother ’s, and the baby girl by the dog’s.

    Grating (gray’ ting) noun. The tight, grim smile given to someone you pass for the fourth time in ten minutes in the office corridor, the first three meetings having already exhausted the ‘Good morning’, ‘Working hard!’, and the hilarious ‘We must stop meeting like this.’

    Guylingual (guy’ lin gwal) adj. Descriptive of an Australian woman who can take part in a conversation about cars, football and chundering.

    Hobarter (ho’ baa tah) verb. To fantasise about how much money you’d make if you swapped you overpriced house in Sydney or Melbourne or Brisbane for one of the cheap ones in Hobart, as pictured each weekend in the colour magazines.

    Hope couture (howp ku toor) noun. The item of clothing you keep around for years in the hope that you might fit back into it some day.

    I-Jacking (eye’ ja king). Noun. The practice of following a conversation in order to spot the moment when you can jump in and make it all about yourself.

    Lollycoddle(loh lee’ cod uhl) verb. During a long drive, to mollify children in the back seat of a car by throwing them regular supplies of junk food.

    Messpionage (mess’ pee on arj) noun. The examination of a young man’s apartment by a new girlfriend in search of clues as to his character.

    Queuecumbered (kew’ kum burd) adj. To be trapped in a queue which slowed down the instant you joined it.

    Testiculation (tes tik’ yu’ lay’ shun) noun. The male habit of giving one’ s testicles a quick squeeze or prod at three-minute intervals throughout the working day, just to check they haven’t suddenly disappeared, or been pecked off by wild birds.

    Wedgetarian (wedj a’ tayr’ ee an) n. A child whose diet consists solely of potato wedges, with occasional side-serves of chips.

    Extracted from The Dag’s Dictionary (ABC Books)

  • worldtraveller
    worldtraveller

    A testicle is what you give your girlfriend to find out if she is ticklish! test-tickle?

  • Clam
    Clam

    Thanks for your contributions folks. Great stuff!

    HAL I must get that Dag's Dictionary. Cheers.

    I haven't given this much thought myself but this morning I've come up with -

    Organiser - Medical staff member who applies cold pack to post operative vasectomy patients.

    Downsize - exaggerated exhalations when feeling depressed.

    Does this count as a Sniglet?

    Obves - verb - to post on internet forums but never read any subsequent replies.

    Clam .

  • compound complex
    compound complex

    commode: noun - an ornate cap worn by women
    of the 17th and 18th centuries.

    magazine: noun - a lightproof chamber
    for holding film.

    quarrel: noun - a square-headed arrow used
    with a crossbow.

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