A new car designed for Jehovah's Witnesses

by Mindchild 15 Replies latest jw friends

  • JeffT

    To secretly imbed a chip in the car that would send an automatic signal to every house within say, half a mile of the car warning them that the dubs are in the neighbor. Everybody could then pretend they aren't home.

  • Mindchild


    Wannahelp, you discovered the inspiration for my original post but I read in in New Scientist magazine. You also have some good ideas and I hope you don't get a call from the Watchtower Research labs asking you if you wannajob. hehehe

    In all seriousness though, I wonder if we are ever going to see J-dub merchandise that goes beyond custom bookbags and bible covers. Maybe there will be a subliminal message pillow system that will be pushed, that plays recorded versions of the Kingdom Service...

    hehehe glad your on the outside.


  • MrMoe

    Hilarious!!! I LOVE IT!! I'm gonna have to share this with the hubby!!

    You forgot to mention the secret cattle prod device that omits an electrical shock rendering the publisher unconscious. Each wand will be attached to the driver's seat and used on those who forgot to use their "over coming objections" pitch. The whole car will know if this has not been done because there is a state-of-the-art device installed monitoring all things said at the householder's door, immediately routing back to the elders houses during weekdays or straight to the GB on Saturdays (cause elders don't go out in field service during the week.) Those observing this travesty of not over coming objections will call in via the on board internet connection hidden underneath the dash board and report this direct violation of line 5768 b in the secret publisher procedure manual.

    Also not mentioned was the infra-red sensor that monitors them while at the door -- making sure they use their reasoning book instead of that so-gosh-darn-hard-to-understand-bible. If they don't pull out the 'ol reasoning book - holograms appear dressed in robes and turbans stoning the publisher to death.

  • wannahelp

    Hey Skipper,

    thanks.. Yeah, I saw that a few days ago, and actually sent it to a few of my friends saying you gotta see this.. I didn't have any JW jokes at the time, but I did send it to my JW friend.. Too bad I didn't think of this stuff then :-)

    Oh, and while we are at it, I say they should just eliminate the middle men.. (oops, no disrespect intended to the God-F&DS-Great crowd arrangement <G>)..

    Maybe the car itself should approach pedestrians on the street, and offer then some friendship and follow that up with a quick verse from one of their bible aids..

    Just think, the car can do a complete 'lesson' complete with questions without any human intervention..

    The car can be the first line in the brainwash train...

    And, if the pedestrian asks a question that the car doesn't like, or doesn't have an answer to, it will

    A.) Inform Brooklyn so they can come up with another dumb answer
    B.) Answer with, "I'm not programmed to respond in that area"..

    Wow! And it will take care of the Ohio lawsuit over getting a permit, too, since cars are already registered :-)

  • xjw_b12

    When I have a little time on my hands I like to go back and read threads from some favourite posters.

    Mindchild is one of those, and while a lot of his postings are quite deep ( to me at least ) He also has a wonderful sense of humour.

    So I thought I would bump this one to the top for a little Friday humour!!

  • Gadget

    This is an old one!

    I wonder what the car does if you get df'd.........

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