What a difference a year makes.

by Billzfan23 21 Replies latest jw friends

  • Billzfan23

    Last year on this date... I was burned out as an elder, school overseer, book study overseer, etc... My Monday nights were shepherding calls, phone calls, judicial committe meetings. Tuesday nights I conducted the theocratic ministry school and usually had a service meeting part. Wednesday nights I had a Bible study with a family from the territory. Thursday nights I conducted the book study at the Kingdumbhall. Friday nights were free for having good dubs (none of the fringe, weak dubs) over to the house for a meal with my wife and 2.3 unbaptized publisher kids. Saturday mornings were service, usually into the afternoon - then yard work and a Watchtower study that night. Sundays consisted of service in the morning, then a meeting in the afternoon and watch some football or TV or play with the kids and get them ready for school on Monday just to start all over again. 2 times a year there were Friday night elders meetings with the circuit overseer, and at least a dozen other Friday nights consisted of quarterly elders meetings and special needs crap. Not to mention all of the insanely intensive assemblies and the yearly district convention - where I generally had a part or a thankless assignment. These were all sandwiched around a 40+ hour work week.

    My kids were miserable with the above schedule and I was frustrated and had been frequenting this board an awful lot for a shot in the arm of "hang in there" as I tried to fade. I found myself ignoring my own kids because of all of the intense theocratic duties that I was taking care of. They were sapping my time and energy and were and alienating me from my two little ones... Then - I grew a sack finally and took a stand and will never look back.


    I am almost divorced from my wife and the borg (DF'ed for apostasy). I have true friends and a wonderful girlfriend who is pretty much an atheist like me. On Monday nights I play with my kids or take in a ballgame with my girlfriend. On Tuesday nights my son has football practice from 6-8 PM and we get pizza after and take care of their homework. On Wednesday nights my girlfriend takes my daughter to a theater class and I coach a 4th grade travel basketball team that my son plays on. On Thursday nights it's football practice again and homework with the kids. On Friday nights my daughter has dance class (tap, ballet, jazz - mixed class) for an hour and then we go to the high school football game in town, play mini golf, go bowling, or hang out with real friends. On Saturday mornings my son has football practice again and we play golf in the afternoon or go swimming, hiking, fishing, etc. On Sunday he has his football games and we watch football in the afternoon together and really enjoy our week - and for that matter....I enjoy life so much!

    Thought I would share - just about everyone on this board played a part in that transformation - by reading your stories and account of how you distanced yourself from a cult - I too was finally able to shake it. Two thumbs up to the JWD folks...

  • WTWizard

    It sure sounds like more fun to do normal things like playing with children, watching football, and playing sports than hounding calls, field circus, and going to the Kingdumb Hell. And the children are going to benefit from having real activities like sports, hiking, and time to play instead of rushing to get to the Kingdumb Hell for field circus and those boasting sessions. No more spankings for not sitting still for hours at a time or for playing around while in field circus.

  • ex-nj-jw

    I remember some of you earlier posts when you were asking for help on child custody. Sounds like things have worked out for you and the kiddies.

    I'm glad that you are spending time with and enjoying your children, they grow up much too fast to miss anything. I'm also glad to hear that they are being allowed to live a normal childhood!!


  • megsmomma

    What a great re-cap. I am so glad you are happy now and can enjoy the only life you are guarenteed to have!! It sounds like your kids are now enjoying life too, which is the most wonderfull outcome!! Yay for you!

  • Younglove1999

    this post made me smile-

    sounds like life now is defintely more enjoyable-

    I look forward to having my daughter grow up and being able to use our free time to spend together and to see her excel in different things like sports or dance, etc.

  • The-Borg

    Wow, you were zealous brother. I was a crap witness, I could never muster that amount of enthusiasim. Sorry about the divorce and congrats on the hot girlfriend.

  • Makena1

    Couldn't you have waited just a little longer for the new system to do those things? : ) I can totally relate to your post. The treadmill we were on caused me in time to NOT look forward to weekends, when I really should have. Very happy for you and your kids. Normal is GOOD!

  • Billzfan23
    Couldn't you have waited just a little longer for the new system to do those things? : )

    That's priceless - "wait on Jehovah" "in his due time" "in due season" "throw your burden..." yada yada yada...

    God I don't miss that drivel at all...

  • BFD

    I think it's great to hear about all these positive changes you have made in your life over the past year. Sounds like you have a great family life now. Good for you.


  • R.F.

    Your experience really gives me hope!

    Up until about 4 months ago I was a Ministerial Servant and Pioneer, along with working full-time, minus all the family responsibilities though since I was only engaged then. I too was becoming a stressed-out wreck. Things are just now getting for me to what i'd consider normal.

    Thanks for sharing

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