Anecdotes needed for my research on bullying within the JWs

by Scully 23 Replies latest members private

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  quietlyleaving

  Trevor, your experiences of being bullied by the elders reminds me of the awful treatment meted out to an elderly pioneer sister. Her crime was that she tactfully hinted to a courting sis that the elder she was engaged to had in the past beaten his first wife who'd left him because of his mistreatment of her. After many years he'd become free to marry again and started courting this poor single parent sis.

  The pioneer sis, after much soul searching decided to warn the single parent sis. The courting sis broke off her engagement to the elder.

  After that the elders started fabricating lies about the elderly pioneer sis. A particularly upsetting lie they circulated was that she was engaging in unseemly conduct with her young non witness 25 year old nephew who was living at her home - he supported her financially. Things got very bad for her emotionally after that. Fortunately she had the good sense to leave the truth. Her worldy family eventually stepped in to take care of her.
• 

  dedpoet

  Quietly Leaving,

  Those elders sound a lot like the morons I had to deal with. I
  never let them see they were bothering me, though they were.
  I wouldn't have given them the satisfaction, so apart from the
  phone calls, I appeared to take it all in my stride.

  I was planning my exit at the time, which made it a bit easier
  to bear though. Such loving people, aren't they!
• 

  Gill

  Slander and Gossip is the number one tool of bullying used by the members of the WTBTS.

  Labels such as 'marked', 'DA'd, DF'd, 'Spiritually Weak', etc are stuck on anyone who does not tow the line.

  My experience with JWs is that if you don't agree with absolutely anything that any of them say, especially the ones at the top of the heap, Elders, Pioneers, Elders wives etc, you will be slandered, bullied and gossiped about. What they don't know about you they will make up simply to discredit you and make themselves look spiritually superior!

  Scully - this is a very upsetting thread for a lot of us, especially those of us who were always bottom of the heap and always lookied down upon.

  The problem is, that once you leave the bullying by dubbies still doesn't end. They still slander and gossip about anyone who leaves their nasty little cult!

  My husband and self were bullied persistently at one cong we were at simply because the majority of the Elders had dead end jobs or were on sick related benefits. My husband had a skilled job and often worked over time and earned very good money. I was persistently picked on when out in FS or at meetings for the fact that my husband was working. The Elders would regularly visit and 'counsel' us on materialism and they even went so far as to consult with my husband's parents and my parents about what could be done to stop my husband going to work so much! We only found that out a couple of years ago!! These scum bags were tolerated by us because at that time we had no idea what the WTBTS really was and that it was filled to breaking point with vile disreputable morons!

  It is very difficult to get back the self esteem that you 'allowed' to be stolen from you due to fear of imminent destruction!

  However, I believe we have the last laugh when we see them going out on FS, meetings, assemblies etc.

  I still feel an ache of shame and a burning of anger when I see the numb skulls BUT he who laughs last, laughs longest!!
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  Scully

  Gill, thank you for sharing your experience. It will be very helpful to my article.

  Scully - this is a very upsetting thread for a lot of us, especially those of us who were always bottom of the heap and always looked down upon.

  It is very difficult to get back the self esteem that you 'allowed' to be stolen from you due to fear of imminent destruction!

  I still feel an ache of shame and a burning of anger...

  I agree that this is a very sensitive topic for a lot of people who have experienced this kind of bullying within the context of the JWs. I find it quite upsetting as well, which is why I find that I need to set it aside when it starts to make me feel terrible.

  One of the things that bullies rely on to continue operating, though, is our silence. Exposing and understanding these people for what they truly are, and recognizing that the fault is theirs, not ours, is the first step in healing ourselves and making sure that others know how the "game" works before they get sucked into it too.