Mr. Flipper's 80 year old Mom Survives Surgery,Witness Relatives Involved

by flipper 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • flipper

    Well folks, Mrs. Flipper and I were gone for a few days up to my 80 year old witness mom's lower back surgery. She pulled through it o.k. but it took her about 60 to 72 hours to get out from under the anasthesia. The doctors said because she takes about 14 different prescription medications, the drugs they gave her to put her under were probably interacting with her prescription drugs, not allowing her to wake up like a person should in a timely fashion. So after we got back home, this morning I called the nurse and she said my mom is nodding her head finally and saying yes or no to things. So hopefully later today she will say some more words. But it was scary for us as a family because my mom had a history of tia's which are mini-strokes, so the doctors were watching her like hawks, and did cat scans on her brain after the operation. Fortunately she did not have any mini-strokes. So what a relief! So far so good! Looks like she'll make it.

    The other part of my title "Witness Relatives Involved" was a legitimate concern as some of you know because even though my witness dad and mom have been supportive and loving to Mrs. Flipper and me, my older brother, an ex-bethel elder had not in the past year. So him and his wife were there at the operation and Mrs. Flipper and I were wondering how he and dubby wife would act towards us at the hospital. Well, surprise of surprise! when we got to the waiting room, my older brother and wife got up out of their chairs and hugged us ! They had never met Mrs. Flipper since we were married a year ago, and they were so nice jumping up to hug both of us, I barely had time to introduce my wife, like hug, hug, oh! by the way this is Mrs. Flipper my wife! That fast! Mrs. Flipper and I just rolled with it, and were cordial back and through the whole few days, both of us me and my wife and my brother and his wife sat keeping vigil at my mom's bed with my 82 year old dad. My brother, his wife and my dad and sister were friendly, cordial, would crack jokes through the 3 days and acted like normal humans with no witness prejudices. This was so strange to me to see my brother, a self righteous elder a year ago who would not even come to my wife and my wedding, and previously had stated," Until you return to Jehovah, you are not welcome in our home!" now, suddenly act like he was our greatest ally and friend, with absolutely no mention of the witnesses, past grievances, their view of us or anything ! Kind of freaked me out how they seemed genuinely caring, but a year ago they could care less! Psycho or what!?

    So, the million dollar question to all my friends on the board here, ( and I do respect all of you and your opinions), I'm trying to analyze this and was this weekend just an abberation? I mean were my brother and his wife just being nice and humane because of the seriousness of the family medical crisis? Or was it genuine? Do you think they were being cordial and nice to impress my " worldly " wife, and try to give a " good" witness so she would have a more favorable view of the witnesses ? And then drop the act and be more themselves in their shunning witness mode once mom is better, and everything gets back to " normal" ? I would really appreciate any insight you folks have, if anybody has gone through this with witness relatives in a crisis. Please feel free to share, need your help to analyze and dissect this. I guess I can't understand this behavior because, I don't put on different faces for people. With me , what you see is what you get. I'm generally the same person, no matter who I deal with, I can adapt to anybody but won't be a facadish or fake person. So what do you all think? Give me your best assessments of the situation, I value all your takes and friendships on this board. All of you are great and valuable! Peace out to all, Mr. Flipper

  • megsmomma

    Hi Mr. Flipper,

    I think what may have happened in the case of your relatives is that since the rules are you are "allowed" to speak to family in the occasion of a medical emergency, they took it as a chance to be "themselves" and show you how they felt without having to feel guilty about it. It will likely go back to "normal" when the situation no longer allows them to be human.

    Just the way I think it could be.

    Glad your mom is doing well!

  • flipper

    Very interesting MEGSMOMMA. Thanks for the input. I was kind of thinking that. The witness organization does dehumanize people. But Mrs. Flipper and I wanted to show them that we, as non witnesses show just as much human concern as them. I wonder if they see that,or would even acknowledge that? Peace out, Mr. Flipper

  • flipper

    Oh! An interesting sidenote to all of this. The only grandchildren to call my dad, their witness grandpa, to see how grandma was doing, was my ex witness niece an attorney in the Bay area , and my son, an ex witness going to college right now. I felt that was a nice anti witness for my witness relatives to see. Hopefully some of my witness nephews and nieces will call my dad with good wishes

  • nvrgnbk

    Some JWs are genuinely good people.

    The problem with that religion, and all religions for that matter, isn't in the membership.

    It's that they teach as reality that which isn't real.

    That's the real damage done.

  • BluesBrother

    The WT rules do allow for family emergencies as exceptions and I guess that he was upset about his mother too and was glad of your presence. They acted naturally because the 'rulebook' allowed it. When the situation is over their conscience will no doubt cause them to retreat again..

  • bigdreaux

    glad to hear your mom is doing good!

    as for the witnesses, maybe if they see how loving and happy you are, they may drop their defenses. i wouldn't get to attached yet, but, be cautiously optimistic. take this to show them through love and actions, there is a better way. not even talking about the witnesses and just being cool with your family may have a huge impact on them. don't let them talk about the witnesses, and don't bring it up. be diplomatic. you'll do awesome.

    i'm pulling for ya buddy!!!

  • flipper

    NVR- Thanks for the input. I do have nice relatives, when they don't allow the witness junk to get in the way. But you are right, when they go back into their unreal world, maybe they'll treat me unreal again.

    BLUES BROTHER- Thanks for your take. So far that seems to be the consensus. We shall see if once they go back to dubville, they will return to aloofness or if they were actually being genuine. Time will tell. Peace out, thanks for both you and NVRS reply. Mr. Flipper

  • ex-nj-jw

    Mr. Flipper,

    I'm glad your mom is doing well and hope she continues to improve.

    As far as the family goes - I've learned to take 1 day at a time, deal with each visit or occassion as it comes up and say to hell with any bs they try to give you. Mrs. Flipper, I'm sure knows what it's all about so no worries there. If they are nice be nice back, if they show their A$$es they know do what you gotta do!

    ((((((((((((((((((((((((((Mr. Flipper's mom))))))))))))))))))))))


  • Tara

    I think the above people are right, but wouldn't it be nice if your brother was having doubts about the JW religion? Can't help it, I love happy endings. Hope your mom continues to do well. You are truly blessed to still have both parents.

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