Put me on the Awake - I'm an unwed mother now! :)

by Juniper 17 Replies latest jw friends

  • free2think
    free2think

    Congrats Juniper.

    I hope your parents are happy for you and your good news.

  • watson
    watson

    I'm pretty sure you know how your folks will react.

    Were they happy that you separated from your elder husband?

    Have you and your parents been close since the break up of your marriage?

    Do they like your current boyfriend?

    Are they into "marriage first," before bringing a child into the world?

    A lot of how they react to this will depend on how you present it. If you are "in your face" about it, then they will probably shrink from the situation. As you know, with active witnesses, this will probably be humiliating and troubling. If they are very active witnesses, it may cause some division. Many non witness families will have some difficulty with a situation like this as well. Go slow, soft, and don't over do it on your outward expression of glee. Give them time to digest it. If you are loving in the way you treat them, and show respect to their views of morality, then it will give them the space they need to imbrace the situation and your new family.

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    Congrats!!!!

    If you are happy, no need to hide your joy at having a baby from anyone! Enjoy your pregnancy and your little bundle of joy, Best wishes to you!

    nj

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    Not to sound like a wet rag, but I have a feeling that they may not be terribly excited. Here's what has happened in my family.

    My brother (never a JW) had his first child with a woman he didn't marry. They didn't stay together. My JW mother told him that because he never married the woman, she will not recognize his firstborn as her grandchild. She still stands by that, and her first grandchild is now 17 years old.

    Hell, when we broke the news to my parents, they weren't happy (and we were married!) They seemed more sad than happy. That's fine, they don't have much of a relationship (and my mother doesn't have one at all) with my boy.

  • Scully
    Scully

    Congratulations!

    Well, if they've been @$$holes to you and are treating you worse than pond scum, I see no reason to tell them about the pregnancy at all. Send them an announcement card after the baby arrives (no return address or phone number on the card or envelope) or let them find out by reading birth announcements. If they're treating you "as dead" why on earth would they expect to be informed.... you're dead to them, right?

    Plan to protect your baby from the manipulations of these faux grandparents whose mission in life will be to convert your child to be a JW. Do not, for even a moment, let your guard down and leave your child with them unsupervised.

    Perhaps your boyfriend's family can step up and be the kind of grandparents that your JW parents cannot be due to their belief system.

  • journey-on
    journey-on

    Congratulations, Juniper.

    I don't have any advice on how to handle your mother. I would say whatever happens in that regard, just

    don't let it severely upset you. Anger and sadness cause chemical changes in the body, and imo can

    affect your baby. Children are JOY personified. Don't let ANYTHING spoil you and your bf's joy.

  • Gayle
    Gayle

    I agree with Scully,,if they haven't been very supportive with you before,,I say wait to tell them,,don't let them upset you, you sound happy (I noted your smiley face),,don't let them bring you down now,,baby comes first now and your health,, I've seen it so many times,,at first extended family seem not happy but once the baby comes, every one that truly cares about you will be ecstatic! Regardless, the baby is from the Creator.

  • ?me?
    ?me?

    i am pretty sure most parents (or soon to grandparents) are not way too excited when they hear their girl has got knocked up, it happened to my sister and has pretty much made the early life (11 years) of my nephew a disaster. i do not think this is soley a Jw/non-JW THING, only that parents who fostered the same out of wedlock babies ofcourse are going to be more forgiving if their child makes the same mistake. sorry, that is just my opinion as a big advocate of marriage and protecting children. edit... to add...................... after looking badk to read some of the background story............................... THIS GUY YOU ARE DATING SEEMS LIKE A REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL WINNER..... 2 YEAR OLD OUT OF WEDLOCK, JUGGLING YOU AND HIS EX , WHO IS STILL MARRIED??????????????? my advice is run, run, run, take your unborn baby and run as far as this loser as possible... after the disapppointment in the choices you have made, i am sure your mommy and daddy will love that little one just as much as anyother grandchild they will have or do have.... i see a pattern with your guyfriend....

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