How can I help my JW son?

by Maddie 25 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    How can I help my son?

    After speaking with my son (a JW) today, I realise that he has many hurt feelings that he hasn't dealt with. His childhood affected him more deeply than I realised because he hasn't really opened his heart like he did today. His father who is not a JW and never has been,was a heavy drinker and the only interest he took in our son was to torment him or put him down. I tried my best to be both parents and took him to the KH but I had problems of my own and feel that I failed him.

    I am sure that my son would benefit from counselling or some form of therapy,but when I suggested it he said that keeping himself busy in "Jehovah's Organisation" and talking to other JW's was the answer. I tried to say to him that keeping busy was only a way of shutting out his feelings and not a way of healing, but he believes that everything outside the Org. isn't necessary. He has totally isolated himself from everything in the " world " that I despair of ever getting through to him. My son sincerely believes everything that he has been told by the borg and doesn't seem to have any suspicions at all. I know that he doesn't read anything or look at anything he is told not to, and is therefore completely under the borgs control.

    Perhaps he was unhappy so has made a new "reality" in his life as a JW!!

    I have to ask myself ,is it right for me to try and tell him the truth about his "reality" if he is really happy there? Would I do more damage than good, that's if he would listen to me anyway?

    I feel so upset and confused and worried about everything right now!

    Maddie

  • OnTheWayOut
    OnTheWayOut

    Your son is young (so are you) and has a whole life of heartache in the organization
    ahead of him. There's nothing wrong with trying to help him out. The problem is that
    he is not ready to hear it. Start reading and researching on your own.

    Recommended reading is

    HOW TO RESCUE YOUR LOVED ONE FROM THE WATCHTOWER
    by David Reed

    COMBATTING CULT MIND CONTROL and RELEASING THE BONDS
    by Steve Hassan

    If you really think he should seek counsel, you told him and he won't go. You can
    start reading about child abuse and psychological issues of alcoholic parents or
    whatever seems appropriate to helping him and sharing what you find with your son.

    I usually recommend to spouses that wish their loved one would seek professional
    counselling, that the spouse just start going themself and inform the loved one that
    they accompany them if they are ever ready to. Your situation doesn't quite seem
    like that would work, but if your own research doesn't help, you could try it. You would
    at least get help in how to break down barriers between you and your son.

  • changeling
    changeling

    Is he happy in his delusion?

    Does he maintain a relashionship with you?

    If so, leave him be. He has a right to make his choice.

    Anything you said at this point would be perceived negatively.

    Don't risk losing him.

    Someday he may find himself dissilussioned and in need of your comfort.

    Be there for him when it happens.

    changeling

  • Atlantis
  • Rooster
    Rooster

    Your son will need to be at a point in his life when he is ready to open up and accept change. It will take time for him to change.

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    Thank you all for your advice and recommended reading to help me to help my son.

    It is good to be able to share with you all what is happening in my life. I think I would go insane otherwise! Mind you I sometimes think I am anyway.

    Have you ever been out somewhere and there are loads of people but you feel different and alone somehow? It's such a weird feeling, almost as if I'm not really awake and it's all a bad dream!

    Maddie

  • Perry
    Perry

    I reccommend just loving him. This circumvents the persecution complex that most JW's have.

  • ex-nj-jw
    ex-nj-jw

    (((((((((((((((((((maddie))))))))))))))))))

    nj

  • snowbird
    snowbird

    My 18-year old daughter is still in and is just as zealous as I was at her age. She believes in JW's with all her heart. The only thing I can do right now is love her and be there for her when the storm comes. I suggest you follow the same course with your son.

    Oh, I'll bet you can use one of these .

    Sylvia

  • Maddie
    Maddie

    LOVE will overcome, and I do love my son dearly.

    Thank you my friends

    Maddie

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