ooo....I so know what you are saying. The more you read the more that swims around in your head.
Many people have had to take a break from the board because it can bring up repressed memories, anxiety, panick attacks.
You are what matters most..as this is your life, You have lead role, and we here at jwd are just coplayers in your life. Do what you need to do, come back and share when you are ready.
Take care of yourself. We will be here when you get back.