What kinds of fading techniques have you used?

by ldrnomo 29 Replies latest jw experiences

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  ldrnomo

  Some of you may have seen my post in jedi masters topic but if you haven't I will re-post it here:

  I'm new to the site, my wife and I are are doing the fade we still have a son and daughter-in-law who are still in so we don't want to get hung. I was an elder for 25 years and was removed because I didn't agree with the GB on an important issue and spoke privately and with trust to another elder who broke that trust and told the other elders and CO about my disagreement. At first my wife and I were devistated but now we see it was the best thing that ever happened to us. We started to examine more extensively things that were not quite right with the borg and within a month realized what a snare and a racket the whole thing is. Since then we have faded. We still go on a Sunday every few months, (keeps em guessing) and we still love all the people and they love us in fact it's been a real confusion for the congregation because we were referred to as "gems", "pillars" etc.What we have found is that we are now able to do more with our extra time in truly giving people the help and comfort they need. One elder in the congregation who was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago said we have been the only one's who have visited them since his illness. I told him it was because everyone else is too busy with meetings and field service. I think it made him think. (him and his wife still go to meetings but that's not really visiting in my opinion it must not be in his opinion either or he wouldn't have observed what he did)

  We love the opportunities and time we now have to give help and comfort to those in our congregation it may be like throwing fiery coals on the heads of those who may now hate us because we are no longer active. Ro 12:20. Not that we feel these people are our enemies but we may not be able to trust them at some point. So we now are able to show them what it's like to serve the God of comfort by giving the same comfort God give's us.

  I look forward to being a part of this forum and sharing the experiences we have had and keeping the fine fight of the faith to preserve our Christian freedom.
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  eclipse

  Welcome, 'elder no more'

  I look forward to reading more of your posts
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  tula

  WELCOME!
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  bigdreaux

  welcome, and congratulations. i hope everything works out for you.

  i was talking to another poster about how we have to hide, and sneak around like little kids. it really sucks. i hope you can help your family out.
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  Scully

  The best thing we did was move to a different territory in a different circuit. There was no follow up from the old congregation, and we never showed up at the new one to transfer our publisher cards. Nobody from our old hall expected to see us at circuit assemblies, so nobody gave it a second thought.

  I highly recommend it, if it is within your means to do so.
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  The Oracle

  Once again - welcome ldrnomo!

  I have some good friends and family who have either gone through a successful fade or are in the midst of one.

  One of the faders simply approached the elders and laid it on the line - he told them he was having a hard time believing certain teachings. He kept very respectful throughout the process (meetings to try and "help him" regain his faith) and often expressed how he wished he believed it like he once did. He used the approach of virtually begging for proof so that his faith could be restored. Of course it could not be provided. Eventually the elders got tired of trying to convince him. Twelve years later he has successfully completed the fade.

  Cheers,

  The Oracle
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  Leolaia

  I did exactly what Scully did. Worked like a charm.
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  R.F.

  I just stopped altogether.

  I must say that i'm lucky when I think about it. I was a Full-Time Magazine Salesman Regular Pioneer and Ministerial Servant(still attached to this burden though) and I broke away with little difficulty so far.

  My circumstances at the time made it very easy to pull off though. There was the death of a very close family member, a busted long-term relationship that I got out of, and another family member being very sick..... all of that is what caused a bout of depression that I went through. I only had to go through 2 scheduled interrogations meetings with the elders. Once they realized it was depression they quickly backed off and I haven't heard from them much sinse. My own Book Study Overseer hasn't even called me in months.

  Of course, I 'm doing great now. Apparently the congregation members still think i'm depressed even though I haven't given them that impression lately. Of course they will think that since i'm "not serving Jah to the best of my abilites anymore". I don't even hear from them much either. I might hear from maybe one of them a week if even that much, and when they contact me it's like they really are uncomfortable, like they really don't know what to say.

  R.F.
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  monophonic

  so much bad stuff happened over the years and one day, during another uncalled for witch hunt the elders were doing on my wife and i, we got our publisher cards out of that congregation (w/ circuit overseer intervention and a fib that we were about to travel out of country for a long time for work and wanted to stay w/ an old congregation). i stopped cold turkey, i knew i was never going to be a jw again.

  my wife kept going. if anyone asked about me she'd tell them to mind their own business.

  that was in 1999. it's still one of the top decisions i've ever made, though i've had to work through some rough times in therapy...if you're in for a long time and find out the 'truth', i felt my mind took it in, but my body had repercussions.

  it's great your wife was open to it, too.
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  RollerDave

  ldrnomo,

  WELCOME!

  Depression really is a great way to go. They don't know what to say and don't want to deal with it.

  Just try not to admit any doubts that could get you stoned to death, uh, I mean DF'd since the law of the land won't permit stoning.

  You can do it!

  RD