Meeting unknown ex dubs for first time

by greendawn 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • greendawn

    I personally haven't met any ex JWs for many years now, but if you happened to meet one you never met before what's the interaction like? Is there a sense of identity and solidarity due to a common past or no special chemistry going on? Would you pursue a friendship with such a person? Talk about how to combat the cult or solve problems specific to all or some ex JWs?

    I suppose for ex JWs that still haven't resolved WTS related issues there may be a sense of discomfort as if there is a sense of mutually felt disgrace for having been cut off from the ex org or having betrayed what they may deep down still (erroneously) perceive to be the truth.

  • unique1

    I learn so much when we have our meetups. Things I never would have thought of on my own. Plus it is nice to have others who understand what it is like to be shunned.

  • greendawn

    Those are very positive aspects of solidarity among ex JWs that should be fostered. Of course there can be a lot of mutual learning and assistance based on a common past and experiences.

  • Honesty

    It's great to be unshunned by the shunned and cast-offs from a demonic cult filled with shunners.

  • prophecor
    ....if you happened to meet one you never met before what's the interaction like?

    The initial interaction for me was a bit un-comfortable, however, it quickly warmed up as we discussed, briefly, different traits and aspects of our relationships with women. After a while, you're not as nervous in the close company of a near complete stranger. You relax, and shortly, thereafter, you get to be yourself. Quite a feat of accomplishment. You realise that you can be in the company of better strangers, connect and I look forward to connecting with more of you.

  • Gopher

    I just went to an apostafest over in Wisconsin, and met (for the first time) some who post on this board incluing JH, Brooke (whyamihere) and ButtLight. Also there were others who post infrequently or never. I enjoyed it. I think if you approach these types of gatherings (where you know almost nobody) with a sense of humor and an interest in people, there is hardly ever a problem.

    Everyone had been out a while, so we could talk freely about life inside and outside the religion. We talked about all sorts of stuff, not all JW-related. But there is a bond there almost immediately, having been through the same things and knowing all the same terminology.

    Just because someone's an ex-JW doesn't automatically mean they're good company. However, most are good company, ordinary folks who happen to have shared a few of your extraordinary experiences.

  • Sassy

    there is a bond and so much to talk about... I've never had an uncomfortable meeting..

  • greendawn

    It's to be expected that there would be a natural affinity and emotional connection for having such a big common past and experiences. Got trapped in an authoritarian religion, served it for nothing in return and then broke free from it as it did all it could to dishonour and disgrace the ex members.

    Meeting ex dubs therefore can be socially advantageous especially when moving to live in new areas.

  • Mum

    My experience has always been positive, even with ex-dubs with whom I share little in common. It's just like there is a bond I have with my sister (who is very different from me) because we were abused by the same parents.



  • Burger Time
    Burger Time

    I met one at work, and every since then we have a bit of a unique connection. We both looked and interacted with each other a lot differently.

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