Yeah, it's kind of like having the training wheels taken off your life. But that's a good thing.
God help me - Just finished Crisis of Conscience
Welcome, my friend, to the rest of YOUR life.
What Gregor said.
We were duped.
Plain and simple.
Now we move on and help one another.
Peace to you, Orgull.
You're gonna be ok.
What a beautifully written post, Orgull.
This is just part of your journey, like others have stated,
the next step is where you take back control over how you live your life....
It is yours to live now.
You're not alone Orgull. We're here when you need us.
Please hang in there. It might get harder before it gets easier.
That was a really good description of the effect of learning that what you based your life on is and always has been a lie. You will come down from there and then you wil rise up. It is a rocky road at times, but it does lead to freedom. Freedom is a big responsibility.
They say that criminals who've spent most of their lives in prison get disoriented and distressed when they finally get paroled later in life. The shock of institutional life, being told when to get up, when and what to eat, what to wear, the clearly defined space in which they live... take that away and the world with all it's possibilities and freedoms is too much to bear. I feel like I've just been let out of prison. Part of me screams for the comfort of my "cell" walls and part of me screams in anguish at my "captors".
This is almost word for word what I said when I finished reading CoC. I felt enlightened, yet lost, exactly the same way you described. In fact, I remember saying to my husband 'I feel like I just got set free from prison, and I'm standing on the outside of the prison door with nothing. Nowhere to go, no clue what to do. I don't want to go back to prison, but I'm just as scared of the ouside.'
I can completely relate to how you're feeling. All I can say is, it will pass. Just keep walking away from the prison door, and it will become clearer with time. At least you have the faculty of freedom of choice and thought. Explore your freedom and enjoy it.
It sounds like you're on the right path now. Best Wishes for your journey.
Remember to keep looking forward - and feel blessed that you now have the ability to mold and shape the rest of your life in a better way. Focus on that instead of looking back at what is lost. Nothing can change the past but you are well on your way to changing the future.
Work to accomplish what you would have never tried within your former walls. You have broken free of the rut - feel the happiness that comes with being able to explore your new world without boundries.
That is what keeps me from feeling pain or anger towards the past - I know I have so much to look forward to now!
Morph (Seeing the world for the first time)
Perhaps you will be able to build that spiritual relationship with God now that your relationship with the WTBTS is over.
Best book I ever read. Hard to find in my area. Every Witness should read this book to see that the Governing Body are just MEN throwing darts at a dart board. They have no special powers, yet like the Pharasee's they tell us how to live in every aspect of our lives. Remember what Jesus said ;"You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." You'll be fine, be strong and brave and you will find your life path.