suicidal friend

by DaCheech 15 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  AudeSapere

  I sure feel for your friend. I've been there.

  My suggestions are to not at all attack his belief system at this time. Rather, be a true friend and confidant. Check in on him. Invite him for a walk. Get some iced tea or other refreshing drink - not alcohol.

  If the conversation goes to his thoughts of harming himself again, ask if he is flirting with thoughts of suicide. (I have asked this question of a couple people. You have to watch their face and eyes when you ask that question because you will see split second expressions on their face. I've been asked this question - and answered 'yes' truthfully.)

  If the answer is yes, the next question can be: 'Do you have a plan?' Most people who are seriously considering suicide have a plan in mind. They may tell you 'yes' but will be reluctant to tell you what it is. I have never told anyone what my plan was. I had two separate ones that I was musing over.

  The important thing for you to do is to remain non-judgemental and non-emotional. You can verbalize the words 'i'm concerned about you and I care about you.' Simple but truthful statements can help ground him and let him know that you are someone he can trust to unload his thoughts to.

  Making specific plans to meet up again (ie: Wednesday after work to play tennis) and then call a day or two beforehand just to confirm. (1-2 minute call) Listen to voice over the phone. You can start to tell where the person is emotionally. Commit to a date and time and keep it light-hearted and fun.

  This gives your friend something pleasant to look forward to.

  To get him to agree to take time for fun, maybe share with him something that a pioneer told me. I was working fulltime and also pioneering along with other responsibilites and was starting to get very rundown, stressed and depressed. She told me that you cannot give what you don't have. You have to take care of yourself first before you can take care of others. Sometimes it's important to step back for a little bit in order to properly re-charge and nurture yourself.

  I didn't follow her advise then but I sure remembered it when I spun out of control and had my breakdown. It was not a pretty sight. But lesson learned - unfortunately learned the hard way.

  Oh! I really liked what AA said: They tell everyone to do more. Even if he was putting in 100 hours a month, we all know -he does, too - they would still be encouraging to just a little more. It's never 'enough'. So it's up to each of us responsible adults to realize that sometimes we have to slow down a little before we seriously hurt ourselves mentally, emotionally, spiritually (to our core), or physically.

  Be an understanding and truthful friend to this person. Sounds like he needs (and will soon realize he needs) a real friend to whom he can unload his honest feelings.

  Warmest regards to both of you.

  -Denise.
• 

  purplesofa

  Please continue to call your friend alot

  Let him know you care and are checking on him.

  love unconditionally and help him see and feel his worth just for who he is,

  you will be amazed how just your love can help him

  purps
• 

  educ8self

  Doesn't Jehovah judge by the heart? That is why the service hours aren't ultimately important, and that is why mental health is.
• 

  jaguarbass

  That's a tough one. Your friend has laid his suicide card on the table. He's in the game.

  So are you thinking that if you didnt have to worry about exposing yourself that you could tell him he is beating himself up for nothing. That field service is not important.

  I think even if you could tell him that and he believed you, He would still have problems.

  He sounds chemically imbalanced and finding out there is no Jehober and the Wactower is a sham probably would not calm his boat in the shaky sea of life.

  Some people say the cure for depression is to get up and get moving.

  That's what it sounds like your friend is trying to do.

  When someone tries to kill themselves at the jail I work at. The professionals fill them up with so much thorazene and other chemicals that they dont even know their names.

  But I have talked to these people and they have screwed up thoughts and thought processes, or at least destructive depressing thought processes and they need to reprogram their thinking. Which could be a tall order.

  I say screwed up, but I've talked to some that are very lucid and aware and they just think life sucks. They say there is no God and we are just globs of atoms. So I guess they need the happy pills.

  I think to some, believing in a loving caring God could be a healthy delusion, if they can pull it off.

  But sometimes its hard to bullshsxt a bullshxter.

  I've been taught that suicide prevention is dependent on someone loving and caring about the depressed one. And the depressed person finding a reason to want to live.

  Maybe the Wac Tower needs to come out and say Jehober disapproves of suicide. And suicides will not inherit the kingdom. That might straigten your friend out.

  In florida they have a provision to take someone who is a threat to themselves into protective custody for 72 hours, they call it the Baker Act. But it would be kind of difficult for you to invoke with out seeing him trying to hurt himself or hearing him threaten to do so at the present time. And then when they do take them into custody they fill them with thorozine.

  Hopefully the happy vitamins, b12 will work and the increased activity in the field.

  In this life the living have to keep pluging away and step over the bodies.
• 

  educ8self

  It just so happens that around the time I left I went to school for nutrition, when I look back on it I see it was an attempt to treat a psychological problem with physical substances.

  It might be helpful to point out that some witnesses are therapists, I saw one for a little while. (it might help if you told this as a story, I was a witness during this period anyway) Well I had a number of other ideas but I don't think it would have the same impact unless told in a certain way, but these might be helpful to mention.
• 

  DaCheech

  I'm gonna invite over a couple of times to watch tv together. I am gonna wait 2-3 months to see if the service helped him.

  when those 3 months are over, then I'm gonna tell him that he needs a real psychologist.

  In this religion male/female relationships are harder than ever, he has had some real hard letdowns