Hey all. This is my first post to this group. I’ve been lurking for quite awhile and to say the least, this board makes me late for work as I oversleep from a late night of reading and wondering. I will try to explain part my story of my witness upbringing and my feelings towards them.
I was raised a witness from the time I was born. The first thing I can remember of being a witness was my father spanking me outside the kingdom hall for not listening or fidgeting in my seat. Not that my father was abusive, but that is what I remember. I was 4-5 at the time. My whole family ( brothers,sisters ) including relatives on both sides are witnesses. Most of my brothers, uncles, cousins and male relatives have or do hold now, positions of responsibility (co,po,elder,ms).
My father has been an elder from day one of that arrangement. With most of those years being a presiding overseer.
I was made to attend every meeting, assembly and or special event. I did feel that I had been raised very well by my parents and didn't miss out on to much. I was never baptized. Anyways, as a normal teen I made my share of mistakes according to their beliefs. The thing that kills me is I was always in trouble for something I had done. About once a month right after the meeting I would get a finger wave to come to the back room by some elder or elders. Of course it was seen by everyone. “Ah oh , look who’s in trouble again”. It was always stupid stuff like, (we heard that you that you said the word “damn” at the congregation picnic last week, or that you were seen “holding so and so hand”). I’m not kidding when I say that there must have been at least 30 of these little meetings that I had to go to in the library. My father attended only a few of these meetings as he was busy with someone else. I always was counseled that what I did was wrong form bible scripture, watchtower or awake. As an adult, I cannot understand why I had to be made to feel that I was so wicked as a teenager. One time I was accused of drinking a beer at a campout with some of my so called friends. My so called friends were all older than I, and were able to purchase beer. When I asked who accused me, they told me who it was. Wait, “that’s the guy that gave it to me”. I was 17 and getting in trouble for having 1 beer that my accuser had bought, and given to me. Ok Ok so I’m wasn't old enough. BIG DEAL. A teen mistake that had to have a special meeting, with 3 elders, and again half the congregation wondering what I had done now. My father had been out of town for almost 6 months due to work , so he was’nt there for that one. My father would have to stay out of town for the next year or so, and I was beginning to not attend meetings. What a relief. Well, one day I had heard thru the grapevine that the elders wanted to talk with me again. I was dating a worldly girl and they had heard see was pregnant. I decided that this was my opportunity to give back a little of my feelings. I was 18 and my father was’nt around. I called one of the elders and told him I would be glad to meet with them.
I don’t think they liked the idea of me bringing my girlfriend to the meeting. They told me that, what they were about to ask, was very sensitive and that, my girlfriend may not want to be present. I told them I knew what they were about to ask, and since it involved her, that they ask her. Of course I could tell they were uneasy about doing so, but they did. She answered them and told her that she was in fact NOT. I asked them who told them this, and why would they say something like this. The elders told me that they couldn't say who it was but it was from a very close friend of mine. I then asked them if me being a un baptized person and dating someone from outside of their truth is a crime. We were both told, that my dating outside of their truth, was not a good idea, as I would be tempted to do unscriptural things. Well I hadn’t done unscriptural things, but I was sure getting sick of being accused of them. I truly loved this girl and I wasn’t going to let them stand in my way. I told them that I would continue to date this girl, and if they felt that they had to do something ,to go right ahead. 2 weeks later it was publicly announced that I was to be considered a bad influence and no one should associate with me. Wow I was finally out of something I was not part of to begin with.
This was twenty years ago and I still have bad feelings towards an organization that shows no love towards their young. I married that girl and have 3 wonderful children. Our marriage is one of the strongest that I know of, both worldly and non worldly. The main reason for not wanting to go back is, that I would never subject my wife or my kids to that type of treatment. I realize now that true love comes though hard work and what you believe is right in your heart. Not the love shown by a group of men that have to question every move you make. Mistakes will be made and have been made in my lifetime. My wife will make mistakes. But most important is that my kids will make mistakes. And I will be here with love and not judgment to help them.
This is only little part of my story and I will post more in the future. Oh boy do I have more. Like the time my friend and I were playing under a desk in the back room and an elder brought in a another elder to discuss his smoking problem. The good-ol boys club I read you guys talking about.
My god be in your heart and with your family and not in a kingdom hall.
Does the above statement make me apostate?