Do witnesses visit loved ones grave sites?

by NotaNess 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • JH
    JH

    I think it depends more on the individual than the religion.

    Often I go visit my dad's grave site, and I don,t see many people there, JW or not.

  • VM44
    VM44

    The Watchtower had a cemetery for the Bethel workers who died. Rutherford is buried there.

    It would be difficult to visit anyone who is buried there, as all the graves are unmarked!

    The stupid Watchtower obviously didn't want to pay the added expense of providing markers.

    And there was a fire that destroyed the records of who was buried where. So there it is, a whole cemetery of unmarked graves with no way of knowing where anyone is located!

    The Watchtower has always been evil.

    --VM44

  • anewme
    anewme

    This topic gets me so angry at the Watchtower Society! What right have they to destroy a person's love for their dead loved ones and deny them the attachment they feel after losing someone in death?
    I do not believe for one minute any of those Russells or Rutherfords or Franzes or the current phony in charge has ever received Holy Spirit from Heaven which gives him the right to tell others what God thinks!

    The nerve to interfere with others like this!!! I boil thinking how I placed so much confidence in the Watchtower's viewpoint in every aspect of my life, including my view of my parents and their deaths.

    They promise people spiritual freedom but keep them in spiritual slavery!




    contributions and sufferings and losses and accomplishments than by all means do it!


    God meant for your heart to be a shrine of worship by itself! Follow your loving heart!


    Anewme

  • Bobbi
    Bobbi

    We have visited some of my husbands family graves, with members of the family who are ardent JWs. I think it was a way of reconnecting for my FIL. And we are planning another day trip ( including some antiquing SP?) to check on some of the shrubs he planted there. Incidentally, my in laws took my oldest son with them to do the gardening so they must not feel they are doing anything wrong.
    Bobbi

  • Namaste
    Namaste

    I know in my JW family it is very frowned upon. Last year I was at a family reunion and my aunts and uncles (all non JW) decided to visit the grave of the one sibling that had passed. Of course, my dad refused to go and I thought it made him look like quite the A$$! Of course, he has always refused to attend any funeral or wedding held anywhere but the KH or outside. I grumbled a lot at my mom making it known my thoughts on how ridiculous it was that he just didn't go and support his siblings.

  • Nathan Natas
    Nathan Natas

    In some cases they couldn't visit even if they wanted to.

    One example is Joe Rutherford. The WTB&TS says he's buried on Staten Island, in a cemetery owned by a Methodist Church. but if you go there, you won't find him, or any of the dozens of other bethelites buried there, because there are no grave markers. For anyone. You might think it was an arena for playing lawn darts. But in the case of JFR, there's a second reason you won't find him there: he's buried somewhere on the grounds of Beth Sarim/Beth Shan in San Diego CA. Some say he was plopped in a hole on a hillside near the mansion, others are sure he is buried under the floor of a garage attached to one of the properties. Dollars to donuts, though, he's NOT on Staten Island.

    But it's not just JWs - Bible Students are not often inclined to visit cemeteries, I think. That's the impression I got while researching the life of one big WTB&TS mucky-muck whose brother broke from the Watchtower and remained a Bible Student. As it turned out, the family of this fleshly brother did not know the real date of his death, where he died, how he died or where he was buried. I discovered indisputable facts relating to these issues and offered the information to the family. Things like the state record of death giving date and cause and a photograph of the headstone. I think they were a bit upset to discover that their family fable regarding gramps was not true. Not in the least bit true.

  • Junction-Guy
    Junction-Guy

    There's no official rule against visiting graves, however most JW's just dont do it. Maybe there is something subconscious involved, and when you visit their grave you realize that you too will die someday. Perhaps if more JW's visited graves of other JW's they might start to question.

  • mimimimi
    mimimimi

    My mother, who is the quintessential J-dub, always frowned on visiting gravesites. After all, "they are not conscious and not there".

  • wednesday
    wednesday

    Maybe it is something from years gone by, but my older jws and non jws family would visit the grave site to 'pay respects' make sure the site was being kept up, and no one had vandalized the stone or site. I think it is a wonderful tradition, but with so many people getting cremation now, I guess we'll have new traditions. My mom was cremated but I purchased a stone and site for her anyway, b/c I felt the need for her to "be" somewhere..

  • RollerDave
    RollerDave

    I can't speak for all dubs, and I know of no official proscription, but you have to consider the nature of dubdom.

    Any hint of 'strangeness' can result in being cast out from the group you have everything invested in.

    I think most play it safe and stay away. I know I catch heck every year for going to see me own dad's grave on Memorial Day from my dub relatives.

    When I was breaking my mind free of the dub mold, I was living in a handicapped accessible building near Oakdale Cemetery just north of downtown St Paul, and I used to go on my power scooter to explore and visit on Sundays.

    I visited the graves of Alexander Ramsey, the first governor of the Mn Territory, Henry Sibley, the first governor Mn had as a state, The Wilders, the Ordways, and Kelloggs.

    It was so peaceful, and helped me consider all the new things I was letting myself think for the first time.

    I would NEVER have done that as a dub.

    Roller

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