Hey Core
'sup?
Faith?
by Core88 26 Replies latest jw friends
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Tatiana
Wanted to add...give yourself a break, Corey. Once I left, it was like I was a teenager. Your life clock is all screwed up after being a witness for all those years. Having never went to prom, or dated, or gone to football games.....never partying or celebrating holidays........it was like I was a rebellious teen that wanted to act out. And boy, did I !!!!
I partied like a rock star. I didn't get into drugs or anything, other than the occasional joint, but I drank and went out dancing. Went to concerts and listened to music I was never allowed to before. Went to R-Rated movies. (oh the shame, the shame) Back in the day I even had a few one night stands.
I think maybe you have to go through that to eventually find your balance. I know you have a son and girlfriend, and I didn't when I left and got divorced. So, that will be a big factor. Take it slow, and the feelings will sort themselves out. Give it time.....
(edited to say that it took me years to get to the level of peace I am at now---BUT---my recovery was speeded up very much when I discovered this board. You are lucky to have us!!)
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Twitch
God is IN us. Not in some brick building...not in a KH with no windows....not in a huge cathedral....not in an organization worth billions of $$$$. That may be why you aren't comfortable in another church. And why you have left the organization. That one thing opened my eyes.
Now I see God (or Goddess) in everything, and everywhere. I stop and look at a beautiful yellow bird singing....and that awesome feeling I get when I hear the sound is God. I smell the scent of honeysuckle...I close my eyes, and there is that same feeling. When I look at my little granddaughters smile and see her laughing eyes, that warmth inside is "the kingdom of God inside me." It's all around you...just "notice" it.
And when bad...terrible things happen, and you feel sad, lonely, and lost...that is once again God (or a higher power) inside you telling you things are not right.
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According to humanism, it is up to humans to find the truth within ourselves. The focus is on doing good and living well in the here and now, and leaving the world better for those who come after, not on suffering through life to be rewarded afterward.
Well said.
I don't know about a sentient "higher power" outside ourselves but I agree with the jist of these words. I've felt the same from time to time.
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Tatiana
Twitch...I don't know what this higher power is. Be it God/Goddess/black hole in the pit of my stomach ..I just know it's there, and it's a good thing. Maybe I will never find out what it is. It's enough for now.
Corey...I was reading another thread, and seeker4's post was just awesome. I thought it would be good for you to read, and I know we're not supposed to post twice on different threads, but I thought if I linked it, it would get lost. Hope it helps...(edited to add..I DID ask permission from seeker to post it first)
Seeker4 Re: Was the Watchtower taken off guard by the internet and XJW forums 24-Jul-07 12:20
That last line gets "quote of the week" from me.
That concept of "where else is there to go," is a genuine stroke of genius. It sets up this idea that you have to be in a "place" - a religion, a group, SOMETHING, DAMMIT! It's another way of saying, "Who else will tell us what to do? Who will tell us how to live if we leave?"
I can still hear the panic in their voices.
That question was always so hard to answer when I was a JW, and even as I was fading. "If the Witnesses are wrong, where else is there to go?" you'd hear asked all the time. "Even if the Witnesses don't have the truth, this is such a good way of life."
For me, a huge turning point was when I simply had enough insight and wisdom to ask, "WHY does there HAVE to be a place to go to? Why would I NEED someone or somthing to tell me how to live? Why can't I just do that for myself?"
The Witnesses and similar groups create and cultivate a culture of helplessness, the inability to decide for yourself what you will do. I saw it all the time as a Witness. The older sister coming to me in a panic because they got a notice for jury duty. A brother facing an operation. Someone offered a new job. "What should I do? What should I do?"
Like your friend staying just below the radar, people unsure about how to live life, and those who need to be a big fish in a small pond, the JWs offer a "safe" haven, at the cost of your right to think and act for yourself. Part of the impact of the Internet is finding people, like many on this board, who will tell you that, who will let you know that it's NOT a bad thing to be able to question and think for yourself.
Coming to the realization that this is YOUR life and you can decide what to do without being in a "place" that gives you all the answers is a huge step. It makes you capable of laughing in the face of the Inquisitors and snapping off their paper chains, walking past the helpless guards right out of the dungeon and into the light. I may not have all the answers out here, but I sure do love the feel of the sun and wind on my skin. -
Tatiana
Corey? Where are you, hon?
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BCberean
Hi Corey...so good to see your post especially when I could relate sooo much .
I went to the Alliance church last Sat. nite. It was a good message from the Psalms that is 'still with me'....BUT....although I enjoyed the music(most of it)....I stopped singing when the 'trinity' was mentioned.
I think Swalker somewhat described my feelings about never finding a 'perfect' church...I spose that's where the PERSONAL relationship kicks in.
I too feel 'out of touch ' with God....tonite when my computor was slow...I thought I'd open the bible(NW)...BUT....I don't trust it now...have to dig up my 'other' versions.
My FIRST experience with ????...hmmmm...what do I call Him now....I don't want to say Jehovah and the word God now seems soooo 'generic....anyway..............................................
My first experience with my Heavenly Father was not as a Jehovah's witness////
sooo it 'may' be easier for me to see YHWH as separate from the organization and
keep my faith.
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Mum
Core! It's good to see you're posting again.
It is hard to let go of all of the brainwashing we undergo as JW's. Tatiana said it so well, that the truth is not "out there." The truth is inside you. Your task now is to discover yourself and what your contribution to the world should be.
Scully's suggestion to take some college courses is a very good start. Many colleges have courses in religion that cover the basic beliefs and philosophy of several different religions. Taking a course like that, along with a survey course of the Old and New Testaments might clarify some things for you. The benefit of taking such courses in college instead of going to religious services, of course, is that you would get an unbiased, just-the-facts presentation.
Another good thing to do for yourself would be to go to the college counseling center and take some vocatiional interest tests (such as the Strong Interest Inventory) and personality tests (such as the MBTI and/or MMPI). The results of these might guide you to the right career for you and give you a lot of insight into yourself and what makes you tick.
While you are in college, you can probably get free psychological counseling. Most campuses offer free or very low cost counseling services. You could sort out lots of issues without spending a lot of money.
You are fortunate to have left the JW's at such a young age. Life can be an adventure in learning and experience now instead of a drudgery of trying to please others who have a policy of not being pleased no matter how hard you try.
Keep us posted. We care.
Regards,
SandraC