I posted here a couple of months ago, or less. My home computer crashed and they cracked down on messageboard sites at my work, so the work laptop was out. Plus, I just felt emotionally burned out and just didn't want to think about it anymore.
My situation is still the same, only worse. I decided to stick it out and give my relationship with my JW boyfriend yet another try. You all were right, of course, I should have run and had so many opportunities to do so.
I went to the convention with him last weekend. I felt honored that he would actually take me with him, since he can't go to the KH with me as he is disfellowshipped and not supposed to be dating anyone, let alone a non-JW. So we had a lovely week, and he said he would no longer pressure me to become a Witness, as long as I don't watch any movies or shows with magic in them, put up a Christmas tree or openly celebrate birthdays and holidays or expect him to. Sending birthday presents in the mail to my niece and nephew is ok. So basically, he won't pressure me to become a Witness as long as I'm following the same rules that Witnesses do. All the guts, but none of the glory, be what it may, I guess.
Fast forward to last night. He met a young co-worker who drove up several hours to attend a training in our area. He's not really a co-worker, just someone who he met at a training seminar a couple of months ago who happens to work for the same company but no where near here. He asked me to have dinner with them, so I did, because he says he is so "proud to show me off."
We went out to eat at a bar. A bar-bar, where there's bras hanging from the ceiling and peanut shells on the floor. It was a blast, at least during my first margarita. His co-worker thought I was a very cool chick and even asked if I had a sister. He got plastered. So I got in the spirit of things and had a total of four margaritas. And I'm a lightweight when it comes to alcohol, as I just generally don't drink. Well, have you seen the movie Blind Date with Kim Basinger and Bruce Willis? Where she basically turns into a gremlin at the taste of alcohol? That was me. The good news is I really entertained myself. I was not obnoxious or inapproriate or promiscuous in any way. Just silly.
The boyfriend told me I embarrassed him and made a fool out of myself and possibly damaged his career and his reputation. Apparently I told a joke that involved poo to his 24 year old "co-worker" who was just as hammered or more so as I was and was asking people to sniff his armpits because he had deodorant in his glove box out in his car. He said he will never introduce me to any other co-worker or drink in public with me every again. This is the man who parades me around his branch office like I'm his trophy wife. I have NEVER gotten drunk in public (at least not since college) before and I have NEVER behaved inappropriately before. I made a bad judgment call and apologized again and again. Then I finally told him he was being too hard on me, and I would call the guy up myself and apologize if he wanted me to, but he said I did enough damage. He said he would never give me advice again, since I, like his two-ex-wives, never want to follow it and I have to learn things the hard way. He told me he only had $250 in the bank, and he had to pay a $75 dinner bill. I told him I would repay him, and I also said that I would never financially hurt him and that I would have gladly paid the bill for all three of us had I been more self-aware. This is two weeks after I gave him a money order for $800 to declare his second bankruptcy. Now it's back to where I never do anything for him and have only damaged his reputation and his soon-to-be flourishing reputation in his industry.
So why I am whining? I love the man. I love him very much. He has been through a lot in his life, and I never intended to add to his pain. Just when I thought we had reached an uneasy truce on our religious differences, I have to pull a Girls Gone Wild moment and tell a poop-related joke at a bar. I asked him what the joke was exactly, and he said it didn't make any sense and he thought I made it up. I don't know whether to laugh or cry at the moment. I guess just thanks for reading.