mastiffoner, you said,
Well I'm fed up. And when I came across this sight I thought maybe I could find some comfort with others in the same boat.
We've all been there. The WTS doesn't know the meaning of Christianity.
Looking forward to hearing more from you.
Snowbird
Newbies - Give us your stories....
by AK - Jeff 58 Replies latest jw experiences
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snowbird
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AK - Jeff
Thanx mastiffoner. The WTS has shook you around pretty good. Don't be afraid and look over your shoulder though. We are here to help.
I can't believe the level of lovelessness that I have seen and heard about over the years. It makes me ashamed that I ever believed I was a Christian as a JW. Hypocrites.
Please post more. I look forward to your thoughts on the forum.
Jeff
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mastiffoner
Hi again,
Sorry I had to be so abrupt about leaving in my last post, I had a truly good friend here a circuit court judge, call and insist that I use his van tomorrow to get my chemo treatment( he has AC). That he is a super christian! You'll probably be hearing quite abit from me in the future. I really can't leave the house due to the chemo, I can't be in crowds, so my daughter an I just do as we can. We have a super job as property caretakers and they pay for house and utilities and we just mainly have to be here and cut our yard. we do get small amount monthly for gro. Just live simple and it works but I really do miss my husband to talk with, we were married 29yrs. So if any of you want to chat I do too!
Lynda
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KatyH81
Hi everyone. I am mastiffoner's daughter, and while some of my story is the same as her's, I have more to add.
I was 8 when my dad met a JW at work and decided that we needed a religeon. Everything went along fine for me until we got kicked out of our home by a "missionary" mama's boy. During that time (I was 19) I was being counceled for going to a JW party in another state. Even though I hadn't done anything wrong, I was associating with those who had. I also was talking with a brother online and when the PO's wife (who I thought was a friend) told me "You expect me to be happy for you when you met this person in a way that's bed in Jehovah's eyes?". Well this was very discouraging to me, and as it ended up, noone I knew was at the wedding except for my parents. After moving around and being inactive off and on for about 1 1/2 years, we moved back to my home congregation, where he revealed that he had been cheating on me with several people. We had a meeting with the elders where they asked some inappropriate questions and all but accused me of causing the breakup. But they granted me the ability of a divorce and I took it. When it was disclosed to the congregation that my husband had been DF'd and I was getting a divorce, the congregation basically shunned me, and that same sister acually said "I told you so"!
Shortly after this, before my divorce was final, I becam interested in a man at work and we started dating. My father found out about us and gave me an ultimatum, either stop seeing him, or get out. Well I thought "how hipocritical" when he was inactive as well. But I no longer blame him, because he thought he was doing the scriptural thing at the time. I ended up living with that man for around a year before leaving the abusive relationship and reconciling with my dad. I moved back in with my parents in another state, and started going back to meetings about 6 months later. The congregation wasn't at all loving, so I stopped going until I moved again, and found a loving cong. I stayed there for around a year while on reproof for about 3 months of that. When I moved back to my home state with some of my JW friends that I was still in contact with I attended a Spanish cong for awhile. I noticed there the divisions of race. I was the only white sister, no problems there, but the cong was mostly black with about 1/4 mexican. No one ever sat together, it was one race on either side of the hall, and no one ever talked. I moved back in with my mom when my dad died, and no one from any of our former halls bothered to send a card or call. That was also very discouraging. I have not been to a meeting in about 6 months. There are lot of other reasons why I don't go, but those are the major ones. I know that my parents raised me the best they could considering the circumstances, and I do not blame them for anything. I'm just glad that both me and my mom have seen the truth about JW's.
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minu
Well, y'all asked for it.......I was born into the JW religion. My parents and grandparents on both sides are JWs. I never pioneered and only got baptized b/c my cousin (same age) got baptized at 12 and the pressure was on me to get baptized. "Don't you want to live forever and make Jehovah happy?" So i did, at 13 what else was I supposed to do?
Then i got married at 18. (1998) Everything seemed fine for the first year. But he was a loser. Never kept a job, constantly having bigger dreams but not doing anything about it. Eventually he bought a restaurant (his only source of income) and I worked 40 hrs/week at my day job and at night and during weekends worked at the restaurant. I hated that place. He would always leave to go to the local bar to brag about having a restaurant to any woman who would listen and drink all the profits away. I know now i should have left him then. But i was trying to be a good JW. We sold the restaurant and moved to another state to "start over". (2000) Yeah whatever. How blind I was.
He got a job as restaurant manager. He made friends and basically dropped out of the "truth", but did what was necessary to stay in good standing. Made me upset b/c i was on my own in a new state and no friends. I saw the hyprocritical actions of him and it angered me. Well, in 2003, i got started a new job and met some wonderful people. They are my saviors. They helped me see what was going on.
I decided that enough was enough, and went to the elders to see if they could help me get him back on track. (2004) My husband was basically having sex with the computer and it was making me crazy to the point that I wanted to leave. this was not our only issue, he stayed out all night and probably had girls on the side that I was unable to prove, (therefore no grounds for divorce) but had stong feelings that he was cheating on me. At this point he wasn't even going to the meetings, or service or anything. He didn't want anything to do with me, we hadn't had sex for 365 days straight! So I went to them letting them know I was moving out or he was. Well that started some crap. So both me and him had to go into the committee meetings and he is denying everything at first then he said he had gone to some porn sites. Well, they turn to me and asked if I was the reason he was going to the porn sites. Then to let me know that a husband needed to feel wanted by his wife.....etc.(then more BS from those appointed by Jah) I wanted to get up and punch each one of them in the face. Then my then husband says that he doesn't care what they say, he's going to do whatever he wants to and I can leave if I want to he could care less. I tell them about all the times he physically abused me and all the hateful things he did to me. Well he gets df'd and I get reproved. It's never announced because he, my husband, appeals the decision and keeps doing everything he was before "I dragged him into the meetings" and GUESS WHAT?!! Since he appealed and basically got lost in the system, He is now in good standing with the organization. CAN YOU BELIEVE?!
Oh, and after I left, living by myself, I was sick one night and didn't go to the meeting, so, being the caring people they are the three from my Judicial Committee decided to knock on my door after the meeting (around 10:00 p.m.) and here I am in my night shirt and nothing else and they keep banging on the door. I wasn't about to open the door to three men while I was home alone and not dressed and sick on top of that. They had a fit about that because "they knew I was at home and I didn't answer the door".
So fine, I decide to visit my mom (Dec. 2004) and while doing this I visit my "worldly" brother who has a roommate and sparks flew. (It could be the no-sex I was getting, or I was mesmerized by my bro's christmas tree....but whatev.) I filed for legal divorce Jan 2005 and didn't put in the papers that I committed adultrey. (Gasp) Well, I moved back March 2005 and got engaged December 2006. Got married again to a wonderful man and we've been trying to have a baby.
I am free now, I am truly free. (happy tears)
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1914!
Well I've been enjoying reading everyone's story, so here's my contribution:
I had my doubts here and there about certain teaching and beliefs held by the WTS, some no different than other religious. One of the earliest ones I had was as a child, probably 10yrs old or so. I was talking with a girl of my same age, and as kids, we didnt' have the same fear instilled in us discussing what would be considered "worldly thinking" I told her that I thought that I thought that there could be life on other planets, and she felt the same way. I mean, the Evolution book went on and on about how vast the universe was (that was the bookstudy book of the time) so why was is so unbelievable to think that there was other life elsewhere? She agreed and that was the first and last encounter that I had with someone else that felt the same way, until I broke myself away.
Throughout my teens, I like everyone else, tried to repress the "unclean" thoughts that bombarded my mind constantly. The more I tried to repress them, the stronger they were. I thought that I was possessed by demons or was opening myself up to them all the time! I was always so scared, I didn't understand why I would be thinking the things in my mind and thought Jehovah must have abondoned me or something and that I was going to die very soon in Armageddon. I was always hoping as a kid that I would get to do something before Armageddon came, like, "I hope I can get the Nintendo 64 and have some fun playing it before Armageddon comes and destroys me" or, "I hope Armageddon doesn't come and destroy me before we go to Disneyland next month" Constant fear.
After I finished highschool, I got a job selling cars while still living at home. I was going to community college at the same time, so I was socially interacting with other worldly people a lot more. My job paid pretty well, which allowed me to spend more on worldly things, but I was still going to the meetings at the time. One of the 2nd turning points occurred when I was badly physically beaten at a witness gathering. I was about 19 at the time and was invited by my sister to a get-together at the beach were some witness friends around our ages were going to be hanging out. There was lots of alcohol present (typical of youth witness gatherings) and I offended someone by touching their hat. This person, a brother in the congergation, beat the crap out of my face to the point where both my eyes were swollen shut and I had my teeth knocked out. The cosmetic dental bill was nearly 3K. The brothers in the congregation did nothing to the accused other that have a talk with him. I became disillusioned by the congregation that they did nothing about the situation. My mother, a devout JW, was shocked as well, but did nothing else to press the matter. After that, I pretty much lapsed into a double life world of cocaine and ecstacy, and premarital sex. I hit my breaking point when I was coming to the Sunday meetings still high from the debaucharies of the earlier night. I couldn't bring myself to shame the house of Jehovah anymore, so I did not come back. In the interim, due to my absence, I was able to analyze some of the disparities that had crossed my mind, namely the one of 1914 and the anointed class being witness to Armageddon. I thought to myself, "c'mon, this is what has been taught as absolute and yet it is not being fulfilled!" I also have to owe my departure to my worldly influences at the time, and some of the drugs I did to open my mind and realize that we are not alone and there is much more to life than living in fear of being destroyed before you have a chance to get married to that witness girl/guy and have sex for the first time!!
Thanks for bearing with me on that long, probably somewhat incoherant, post.
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Mariusuk.
erm, according to my status thing on the left I am no longer a newbie, however................
I was a witness in the north east of England back in 1985 ish to 1993/4 ish so this was pre generation doctrine new light blah blah. My mother had raised me as a dub till i was 13 but she was quite abusive (no shock there lol) and I placed myself in foster care where to my surprise I ended up with...........another witness family. In all fairness to this family they did try very hard to help me when I was going through quite a typical rebellious teenage phase. I may add that at this point I actually did believe all of the crap I was forcefed at the KH, as in I genuinely believed the world would shortly be destroyed and that Jah would be questioning me over my frequent erm.......lapses in self control lol.
Then I started to see
My first problems with everything revolved around ethics, I was scheduled for a bible reading at the age of 14 on the passage of the bible that deals with the angel killing the 185,000 assyrians, the more I read this the more I was disconcerted, 185,000!!! that is a lot!!! Men who had families, who were doing there job, who knew nothing of this special God. Why didn't He teleport them away? Or turn the assyrian king's heart. I delivered the talk with a sly nod to my feelings which a comment of "some...........could say God was cruel killing 185,000 men in one night, some could say they were innocent men with families........however" I was looked at in a suspicious light after that, at least it looked that way to me.
Ove rthe next year I started to study science a lot more, things just did not add up, the flood, fossils, dinosaurs, I saw that I could not argue my case when science conflicted with what I had been taught in the hall.....then the penny dropped. My belief system was like a house of cards where cards one by one had been slowly pulled away to finally the house just collapsed. I woke up one morning and realised I was an atheist...that was a strange day
Since then i left, never looked back, had a kid, got educated, and got a great big fat social circle woohoo for me!!
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Crumpet
My first problems with everything revolved around ethics, I was scheduled for a bible reading at the age of 14 on the passage of the bible that deals with the angel killing the 185,000 assyrians, the more I read this the more I was disconcerted, 185,000!!! that is a lot!!! Men who had families, who were doing there job, who knew nothing of this special God. Why didn't He teleport them away? Or turn the assyrian king's heart. I delivered the talk with a sly nod to my feelings which a comment of "some...........could say God was cruel killing 185,000 men in one night, some could say they were innocent men with families........however" I was looked at in a suspicious light after that, at least it looked that way to me.
I'm proud to know you babe!
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Mariusuk.
cheers hun, I'm proud to be me