they are no longer shunning me....

by BlackSwan of Memphis 13 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  BlackSwan of Memphis

  I am shunning them.

  After some recent developments with my family, and resulting anxiety, I am now the one who has made it clear I want no contact with them.

  I am making this clear because I can't say at this point that they are shunning me and I won't claim that anymore.

  I did this for the sake of my own sanity (no comments please) and because I need to move on with life without Organizational bullshit games that are designed to manipulate and isolate people.

  I am not advocating this, I am not saying that this is right and good, it was what I needed to do to survive.

  Over the winter, I had made this decision, wrote a letter, but could never muster up the courage to do it.

  Today on the phone, after being told that the reason I could not have family support while Hannah had been having her health issues was because they didn't want to offend Jehovah, I told my mother that was why I want nothing else to do with any of them.

  And that was the end of the conversation.

  So..the end I guess.
• 

  Gopher

  Bravo.

  HURRAY TO YOU for taking control of this issue. Even though they may not believe it, you put the reponsibility for the severance of family relationship squarely where it belongs -- on the ones who initiate the shunning behavior.

  A difference of opinion on religion does not end a relationship, no matter what the controlling religion says.

  You have better options for support while dealing with Hannah's health issues.
• 

  freedomloverr

  I have had to take the same approach also. It is heartbreaking and yet freeing. You can't have a reasonable and respectful relationship with someone who is so disrespectful to you as a human being.
  
  I hope it helps you feel more emotionally in control. I know it did for me.
  
  ((((BSofM)))
• 

  Bumble Bee

  You have to do what's right for you, your health and your mental stability. Sometimes it means making hard choices. This was one of them. Good for you for having the strength and courage to do that.

  BB
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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  Gopher:

  HURRAY TO YOU for taking control of this issue. Even though they may not believe it, you put the reponsibility for the severance of family relationship squarely where it belongs -- on the ones who initiate the shunning behavior.

  Ok, this didn't even occur to me. Wow, thank you for putting it like this. All I know is this: I have been lucky enough to make a few friends around here who are non jw, and have given me some good perspective. One friend pretty much put it like this:Ya have to get the balls to stop letting them treat you like this.

  And well. I guess I grew some today ;-)

  Fl: Hey there girl. It is heartbreaking isn't it? You are, among so many others here, an inspiration to me. I feel more in control and safer. After I hung up, I felt like, ya know, they can't hurt me anymore. Because I am not going to let them.

  I hope that YOU are doing well. Enjoying your thoughts on auras and meditation :-)
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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  You have to do what's right for you, your health and your mental stability. Sometimes it means making hard choices. This was one of them. Good for you for having the strength and courage to do that.

  Thank you Bee. This was very hard. And I've put it off. Mostly because I didn't want to become all that I have critisized. And maybe I have. Yet, as you said, you have to do what's right for you, for your health and stability. The manipulation just finally got to me.
• 

  Twitch

  We do what is necessary to survive, despite it's bittersweet taste, eh?

  Take care of you and yours
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  BlackSwan of Memphis

  That is so, so true.

  Bittersweet? Very.

  But it's survival.

  ~
• 

  ex-nj-jw

  JW's don't like to be on the receiving end of shunning! Don't be surprised if they try to keep in touch!

  nj
• 

  esw1966

  JW's don't like to be on the receiving end of shunning! Don't be surprised if they try to keep in touch!

  Isn't that NUTS! I was thinking that too! We start shunning THEM and THEN we will hear all their garbage.

  I'm sorry things havn't gone as well as you would like them to within your jw family contacts. I am learning to deal with their silence as well.

  I've noticed that when I describe those I knew at the hall I always had to slip in, "they are a bit odd though." All I knew at the hall had their oddities and quirks. I think they are bad people. I don't think they know God and thus do not have his spirit and so display the works of the flesh. We have incurred their wrath and so their lostness shows itself to us as poor behavior. So, while they are our family and old friends, they are lost and thus bad association and NO FUN to be around because of their fleshly behaviors. I try to help them and be available to them, but in the end I am BETTER for their silence than if I had them. I think that is a sad commentary on their situation.

  As my boss tells me, their behavior says much more about THEM than it does YOU.

  Take care. I hope the best for you.