SURPRISED AND SHOCKED

by Raphael 17 Replies latest jw experiences

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  gumby

  It sounds like your dad was a good guy by the responses about him.

  I'm glad you weren't shunned by all but frankly you should have been according to JW current teachings. Had your dad been DFed or been a witness not in good standing they would have not had your dads talk in the kingdom hall. Witnesses teach that a DFed one can be helped or talked to if they are on the side of the road with a flat tire and really need assistence, but talking to one because of even extreeme emotional moments is forbidden. I was at a funeral talk recently and an elders son was there who is disfellowshipped ( they were related to the deceased) and they ate together afterwards as the talk was in a rec hall since the KH was too small and they had a meal afterwards. Many others also talked to him. Witnesses break the rules when they see fit and 99% of them think the DF policy is a bunch of hooey anyways at least to the degree it's carried out.

  Gumby
• 

  GoingGoingGone

  ((((((Raphael))))))

  Sorry for your loss.

  I think that when the JWs shun someone at a family member's funeral, more often than not they are trying to make a point or strong-arming the DF'd person. It has less to do with WT policy and more to do with control on a personal level, I think.

  GGG
• 

  unique1

  Sorry to hear about your dad but I am glad you got a nice suprise at the funeral.
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  Hortensia

  when my mother had a heart attack, was in CCU for a week, and died, the whole congregation was there every day, very supportive, friendly and kind. It stopped the moment the memorial was over - we had the talk at the KH and then, which is traditional in my former cong., a potluck dinner at an elder's house. The cong. took care of everything (they must have realized I wasn't going to do it.) But, as I said, my sisters and I ceased to exist from that moment on. Some friends. We grew up with these folks, knew them for 30 years or more, and in a normal world they'd have kept in touch no matter what religion we were or weren't.
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  changeling

  I'm very sorry about your loss. I'm glad your family's cong was balanced enough to show you compasion at this sad time.
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  RollerDave

  First, let me offer my condolences for your loss,

  Second, I'm glad that they treated you decently during your dad's memorial, too bad they couldn't extend such decency on a day-to-day basis.

  It is sad that they have to reserve basic human kindness and civility for such a sad occasion, but I'm glad to hear that you are not taken in by such an unusual show of compassion and tempted to return to borg.

  Truly, that hand they hold is the hand that holds them down.

  So, condolences,

  Roller
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  Mary

  So sorry to hear about your dad, and I'm glad to hear that you weren't shunned by everyone. It's pretty sad though that being treated like a human being by these people is so out of the norm.
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  38 Years

  My sympathies about your dad. Even if temporary, it's good that you weren't shunned, after all, you did lose your father too and had to deal with your grief. Maybe after experiencing that they didn't get struck by lightening, some of your family will think about it and compromise a little (in secret of course).