WHAT would YOU do? Teen issues.....

by onlycurious 35 Replies latest jw friends

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  bernadette

  Unfortunately, and I would mention this to any parents who think smacking is a good thing, - not only does it teach violence is a healthy response to a child, it also teaches that violence is an act of love and can lead your precious daughters to choose to be with violent partners.

  very true crumpet.

  As adults we don't lash out when people upset us or insult us, although we may feel like doing so - reason and self control comes to our rescue - why not when we are dealing with children?

  bernadette of the has spanked her children when they were growing up class.
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  bisous

  All that "backhanding someone in the kisser" demonstrates is your own inability to control yourself.
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  bisous

  If I'm not mistaken, we are talking about a 17 year old, not a 3 year old or 5 year old. Hitting a 17 year old accomplishes nothing but escalating the situation, teaching them that attempting to resolve something through violence is an acceptable answer. Of course you can gain a temporary upper hand by "beating someone down", but you certainly won't improve or resolve issues in a parent/child relationship by such an approach.
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  bisous

  thanks for pointing out the 12 vs. 17 year old difference. I think that difference would affect some aspects of my approach, but my comments regarding hitting remain exactly the same. IMO, hitting another person in the face is a terrible demonstration of disrespect intended to degrade and humiliate. And that is exactly how it is received by the recipient. shameful, really.
  
  also, better be careful who you do it in front of. because in most locations, it would be considered child abuse.
• 

  LoverOfTruth

  Always let your child know you love her. This rebellion is a good thing in my opinion. I have four grown children. My oldest was obedient; he wwas the Perfect Child. My other three were rather difficult. The oldest decided to go back to the JWs and doesn't speak with me anymore. The other three are good friends with me now.
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  bisous

  Yep. many of the responses in this thread are a throwback to the JW / conservative Christian approach of being proud that their child "fears them", the need to be in control, and even the whole "spare the rod" BS.
  
  I popped my kids on their diapered butts as toddlers when they put themselves in harms way. beyond that never had to resort to corporal punishment to parent my kids. never wanted to either. during elementary school, still had remnants of that Biblical childrearing approach and parenting was more a battle ground of proving I WAS THE BOSS than teaching my kids skills for life. Thankfully, I woke up (mostly due to the advice of a friend / parent that was about 10 years older than me and had already been there/done that).
  
  Made raising my 2 kids the rest of the way a lot easier. helped to teach them how to be thinking adults vs. followers.