by Miss 8572 14 Replies latest jw experiences
Make new friends.
I took years to fade in an attempt not to loose my friends. In the end I lost them anyway, which was very hard at first. However, in just 18 months since being d/f I have built up a wonderful circle of new friends that are no where nearly as judgemental as what I have spent a life putting up with.
I like the idea of waiting until THEY bring it up. Always stand tall, direct eye contact, firm handshake, broad smile. Let them see you're fine, happy, and confident. Here are some responses for nosy questions:
Q. "Have you left the TRUTH?" A. What do you mean by leaving the TRUTH? It's just there, isn't it?
Q. "Have you left Jehovah?" A. I am secure in Jehovah's love and care. (smile)
Q. "We missed you at the meetings." A. I am touched and honored that you miss me. Give me a call and we'll go for coffee, OK? (slap on shoulder)
Q. "Are you going to the meetings?" A. You mean all of them?
Q. "Have you left the Jehovah's Witness?" A. Why yes, and I'm enjoying every minute.
Q. "You should...(scorn materialism, care more about spiritual things, yadda yadda)." A. You should go to a dentist or something. Your breath stinks. Do you have gingivitis? (They are invading your personal space. Right back atcha)
I also like Richie's general response with his peers. If he caught one of them in a secret sin, he'd take them aside and let them know their secret was safe with him. Then he'd casually mention where he stood with the congregation. He made sure, you see, that they daren't fink on him.
He simply avoided the snotty busybodies.
Sometimes a great offence is the best defence.
Thanks for all your suggestions everyone! I really appreciate it. :)
Miss:
I don't want to live a lie.
Follow your own wisdom.
Live your life with inner integrity, that's all you need to do. How others react to this is beyond your control. Just be true to your heart, and those who appreciate and love you as you are will be true friends. Those who shun you do not love you, but rather love what they want you to be; you don't need them in your life.
It's very simple. Don't live a lie, and let the chips fall where they may.
j
jwfacts is correct, if the lives of many are a witness: your life will be richer in relationships than it ever was as a JW. This phase is a part of the lancing of a very infected boil. That will cause a small scare that will fade to the point it is noticed by no one: including you! Keep up the good fight. Do the best you can. Discomfort is always a part of growth and Journey.
Yours in this Struggle,
V
