Need advice, in situation...crazy

by Nowman 11 Replies latest jw friends

  • Nowman
    Nowman

    I decied to post this topic because I wanted to see what what responses I will get and opinions, perhaps you will understand why I am curious about your thoughts/comments...

    I have worked for the same company for 9-1/2 years. I actually sell special nuts, bolts, and screws...all kinds of funky stuff. The owner of this company announced he was going to sell the company to one of his friends who kner nothing about this business. I know him, thought he was a real nice guy, real go getter, I wanted to give him a chance. The current vice president of the company and office manager do not like him what so ever.

    One of our largest customers has told me on several occasions that he wanted to hire me. I never took it seriously. A month and a half ago, the vice president goes and visits this customer. This cust. told her that he had spoke to me about employing me. When she the cust. she then called me at the office and basically told me we have an opportunity to go and work for this guy...blah blah, she wanted my support, she wanted me to come with her to the current owner (the new owner will not own the company for another 5 years) and sell this cust. to him about buying our company. After I spoke with this cust. owner, I then decided I was going to support the VP for sure. When she received the confirmation, she then proceeded to call the owner and tell him, "Nikki got a job offer from such and such customer". She did not mention anything about herself, she played it off as if it were only about ME.

    Because she handled it this way, the cust. has completely turned his attention only to me and 3 others here in my office because he knows the 4 of us make the deals work...Hes been talking to me for weeks, he even came to Illinois last week to meet with me and my hubby. He then talked to another girl in my office about the opportunity last night while I was there. She went and talked with him privately. This girl is my best friend, she was maid of honor in my wedding, we have been friends for 9 years. I did not ask her what she talked about, just really asked her what she thought. She presented it to me that she was thinking about, but its scary, etc. The cust. calls me on my way to work this am, and reveals to me that my best friend told him last night that she could not work for me, and that she has to look out for herself only. She was concerned about our friendship but at the same time she couldn't work for me.

    I was absolutely floored. I am hurt. Since I have been involved in this situation, I have learned things I could never imagine were going on. I am a big girl though, I will deal with it. The hard thing is that she was excited to hear about the oppotunity, she even called another friend of hers in Cali who is somewhat able to tell the future. She has never given me one inclination that she did not want to work for me, this is why it hurts so much. Frankly, if she would have just said this to me, I would have understood. But, finding out this way makes me feel like a fool. She still wants to have the opportunity at her finger tips though. She does not know I know either and I do not think I will contront her on it. At least I do not have to waste my time on her anymore in trying to give her this opportunity, which is one of a life time.

    Basically, I have been screwed over by the VP and my best friend all in a matter of a month. The new guy I will be working for though does not want to hire the VP or my best friend, he told me this am that he is sorry that I have this on my shoulders, but YOU are the main person I want and thats all that matters, at least you know where you stand now with the company and your best friend.

    I am sorry this is so long but I have shortened it up a bunch. Really, how should I feel about this situation? I have taken my business hat off too and I really am trying to see it from all perspectives, but perhaps being this way has really only set me up for someone to screw me over.

    Thank you for reading...Nikki

  • Xena
    Xena

    I've been called a shark when it comes to businss because it is just that to me. Business is business. Bottom line is to look out for yourself, don't worry about anyone else and what they have or have not done. Don't feel overly betrayed either as I would imagne everyone else is doing the same thing. It's tough but then so is life.

    I hope things work out well for you!

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Your friend should have told you, but I do understand - I've been in working relationships with friends and its really difficult to manage them - in fact I would never do it again. You either lose a friend or you lose an employee in that kind of situ. Its a sensitive subject - maybe give her the benefit of the doubt since you have been friends so long.

  • davegod
    davegod

    Sounds like everyone is leveraging for themselves, except you.

  • Nowman
    Nowman

    Yes, business is business. Let me throw something else at you about my best friend. My mom-in-law is a nanny for her 2 little girls. I too have three children, just a baby 2/5/07. She approached me sometime ago and said what if your mom-in-law watches Delanie full time and then I would pay her $800 a month (pay my BF the money). She suggested this because she would still pay my mom in law the same amount even though she would have one more child(?????). I never even considered that, my mom in law would get paid more money period.

    So, I have the baby, while I am on maternity leave, I call her with an idea. I tell her, how about mom in law watches Delanie 2 days a week, I ll pay her separately and the other days, my other friend will watch her. I thought it was a great idea because it benefits my MIL and also she can spend time with her grandchild. My BF basically told me that that my idea does not benefit her at all, she wasn't telling me no, but she basically was saying Delanie would take time away from her 2 kids and she doesn't benefit at all from it. I was floored.

    What do you think about this?

    Nikki

  • reneeisorym
    reneeisorym

    Something about this guy who wants to hire you worries me. I am not there so if your feelings are telling you otherwise by all means listen to your gut. But just be careful with everyone involved -- friends, coworkers, the guy wanting to hire you (he could be manipulating the situation to make you want to come work for him).

    I really think that everyone is just looking out for their own interests. I have been hurt by coworkers many times in the past. There are people you can work with but really don't like -- then there are the people you really like but you don't want to work with. Maybe your friend really does like you but she just feels that you conflict too much when you work together. Not that that should make you feel any better! Maybe she doesn't want to work for you because she it would strain your friendship if you were her boss. I would just leave your personal life seperate from the business life.

    I work with a guy who I would adopt as my father if I could -- he's just so sweet and I love him to death. But bless his heart -- he is a pain in the @$$ to work with because he doesn't understand accounting so he doesn't understand how I fix his mistakes. He always thinks I'm doing the wrong thing but I'm the one with the job and I know what I'm doing. We get in arguments sometimes over it -- But I still love to eat lunch with the old man and think he's just precious... Maybe its a similar situation with your friend.

  • Nazarene
    Nazarene

    What kind of money are we talking about here?

  • reneeisorym
    reneeisorym

    About the second situation: I think this best friend of yours is out for her own interests and not yours period.

  • Nowman
    Nowman

    Thanks so much for your comments! Like I said in my first post, there is more to the story...the one important thing to know is that I know what my BF makes, I know this because I wanted to make sure she would get the same or better. I make less. Don't get me wrong, I make a good living...shes been with the company for 13 years, me nine. I was going to bat for her to get the same pay or better. Granted, this guy I would work for offered me 20% more income and ownership in the company. To respond to Rene, hes a good guy, I actually have known him and his wife for 5 years, they have a daughter who has lukemia (in remission), they are the down to earth people.

    Anyway, my BF wants to start up her own baby business. He knows this about her, I had the idea of a buyout situation with her that when she is ready to dedicate 100% (meaning not working for another company just able to concentrate on growing the baby business) to the baby business. I was going to bat for her about this and he considered helping her by accomodating her goals.

    My BF would work for me, but she would make more $ than me at 1st, but the benefit to me is greater in the near future. My BF currently makes more $ than me, and I do 3x the amount of sales she does. Hey, its not her fault, she came in on a different program than me, but just telling you this part of it too.

    Nikki

  • Nazarene
    Nazarene

    I wouldn't go to the new place

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