Strange Talks part 2

by ilovegravy 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • ilovegravy
    ilovegravy

    I`m not new here, Ive been cruising for a few months now, I`m about to send in a letter to DA myself. 6 months ago, that would have been a scary prospect, but reading this site on a regular basis has given me the courage to pull my plug. I`d go quietly, but I want to muck up the numbers lol...

    Anyway on the subject of strange talks, I`ll never forget when I was a MS, and me and another MS had a "bet" The plan was to see who could get in as many song titles into their 15 min item, or even better a service meeting item...I`m proud to say I got 7 Smiths song titles in and later went on to record 12 Elvis titles in a Service meeting item.

    Struggled getting "Heaven knows I`m miserable now" in though LOL...

    Is this a record?

    Uncle Gravy..

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Welcome to the board! Such a funny story! Look forward to hearing lots more MS stories!

  • ilovegravy
    ilovegravy

    Cheers for the welcome Crumpet...

    Oh and theres the one where I was closing the meeting in prayer one time and I did the whole wrapping up in "rap" I thought it was hilarious and so did the kids in the audience. The PS on the hand didnt and the week later did a local needs on worldy music and styles. Made me laugh though...

    Uncle Gravy

  • Hortensia
    Hortensia

    I'm surprised you've lasted so long! a rapping prayer = wish I'd been there

  • AWAKE&WATCHING
    AWAKE&WATCHING

    I'm almost crying, I'm laughing so hard. I'm new too so WELCOME TO YOU !!! P l e a s e keep those stories coming.

  • Crumpet
    Crumpet

    Hilarious! I wish you had been in my congo - then I might have stayed. I'll pm you.

  • Mum
    Mum

    You're right up there with RichieRich in my book. I love the in-your-face episodes you described! It's going to be fun having you here.

    Regards,

    SandraC

  • Mysterious
    Mysterious

    Rofl that is absolutely awesome. I wish I had fun stories like that but my JW life was pretty mundane and stupid compared to what some have pulled.

  • smellsgood
    smellsgood

    Struggled getting "Heaven knows I`m miserable now" in though LOL."

    Giving talks at a kingdom hall? What could be more appropriate!

    That's a fantastic song actually to describe the life of a dub, with a little change here and there

    "I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
    but heaven knows I'm miserable now
    Someone knocked upon my door, and now I wear a suit
    and heaven knows I'm miserable now

    In my life
    why do I give valuable time
    to people (in Brooklyn) who don't care if I live or die

    Two decades in hell pass me by
    and heaven knows I'm miserable now
    I was looking for a lie, and then I found a lie
    and heaven knows I'm miserable now

    In my life
    why do I give valuable time
    to people who don't care if I live or die

    Armageddon's near, at the end of the day
    better study the Watchtower
    "You've been a pagan too long" she said
    and I naturally fled

    In my life
    why do I smile
    at people who I'd much rather kick in the eye

    I was happy in the haze of a drunken hour
    but heaven knows I'm miserable now
    "See the WT's true history?" she said
    and I naturally fled

    In my life
    why do I count my time
    for people who don't care if I live or die"


    "Liar" written by the Watchtower, er, I mean, Henry Rollins




    in darkness
    and seclusion
    yeah I know
    you've been out there
    tried to mix with those animals
    and it just left you full of humiliated confusion
    so you stagger back home
    and wait for nothing
    but the solitary refinement of your room spits you back out onto the street
    and now you're desperate
    and in need of human contact
    and then
    you meet me
    and you whole world changes
    because everything I say is everything you've ever wanted to hear
    so you drop all your defenses and you drop all your fears
    and you trust me completely
    I'm perfect
    in every way
    cause I make you feel so strong and so powerful inside
    you feel so lucky
    but your ego obscures reality
    and you never bother to wonder why
    things are going so well
    you wanna know why?
    cause I'm a liar
    yeah I'm a liar
    I'll tear your mind out
    I'll burn your soul
    I'll turn you into me
    I'll turn you into me
    cause I'm a liar, a liar
    a liar, a liar

    I'll hide behind a smile
    and understanding eyes
    and I'll tell you things that you already know
    so you can say
    I really identify with you, so much
    and all the time that you're needing me
    is just the time that I'm bleeding you
    don't you get it yet?
    I'll come to you like an affliction
    and I'll leave you like an addiction
    you'll never forget me
    you wanna know why?
    cause I'm a liar
    yeah I'm a liar
    I'll rip your mind out
    I'll burn your soul
    I'll turn you into me
    I'll turn you into me
    cause I'm a liar, a liar
    liar, liar, liar, liar

    I don't know why I feel the need to lie
    and cause you so much pain
    maybe it's something inside
    maybe it's something I can't explain
    cause all I do
    is mess you up and lie to you
    I'm a liar
    oh, I am a liar

    if you'll give me one more chance
    I swear that I will never lie to you again
    because now I see the destructive power of a lie
    they're stronger than truth
    I can't believe I ever hurt you
    I swear
    I will never to you lie again, please
    just give me one more chance
    I will never lie to you again
    I swear
    that I will never tell a lie
    I will never tell a lie
    no, no
    ha ha ha ha ha hah haa haa haa haaa
    sucker
    sucker!
    oh, sucker
    I am a liar
    yeah, I am a liar
    yeah I like it
    I feel good
    ohh I am a liar
    yeah
    I lie
    I lie
    I lie
    oh, I lie
    oh I lie
    I lie
    yeah
    ohhh I'm a liar
    I lie
    yeah
    I like it
    I feel good
    I'll lie again
    and again
    I'll lie again and again
    and I'll keep lying
    I promise

  • ilovegravy
    ilovegravy

    And then theres the time I tried to dissuade all the congregation to stop contributing, because I was able to quote from the very first Watchtower from 1877? where it said that God would want the work to be done for free, and that he wouldnt want us to be charged for it (or words to the effect of).

    Went down like a lead balloon oooooooops

    Uncle Gravy

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