Wonderful news! Thank you all!!

by freeman 14 Replies latest jw friends

  • freeman
    freeman

    Hello all,

    I want to thank so many of you for giving me the ammunition I needed to initiate actions that I hope will save at least one of my two children from the cult of the WTBTS. I have been able to undertake some positive actions in no small measure because of all you people here.

    Some of you may recall from earlier posts that two of my boy’s friends were dis-fellowed and that I went ballistic when my kids told me they were not allowed to talk to their best friends ”because the society says we can’t”. My response to all this was to have it out over the phone with an elder (the father of both the boys involved). He gave me some crap that what the society does in this case is scriptable. Then he goes into some crap based on some story about Cora from the Old Testament. I did not want to hear this bullshit and basically hung up on him. Then after calming down a bit, I wrote him a letter detailing the real scriptable basis for removing persons from the congregation, and how the watchtower policy of extreme shunning is not the way the Bible lays it out and that what they do is both un-Christian and un-scriptable.

    That was a couple of months ago, I have not heard a word about it and I am not DF of DA as far as I know. Since that time I have forbidden my younger un-baptized son (12) to have his normal weekly study or attend meetings. His JW friends still come over and I don’t interfere in their friendship at all and that seems to be fine. I sense no shunning as of this time.

    Last night was a biggie! As my wife and older son were getting ready for the meeting, my little guy asked if he could please go to the meeting, and he did this in front of my wife. I said, no you finish your homework. Now my wife started, “you are depriving him of something he loves, it’s in his heart”!

    I said when you can show me from the Bible, and only the Bible that what they teach about this issue of shunning is true, I’ll consider letting him go to meetings, but since you won’t even read the letter I wrote, (with tons of scriptures supporting my view I might add), and also since not you or any Elder or anyone in Brooklyn can show me from the Bible scriptural support for the Watchtower’s current policy of some fractions are not ok, others are a conscience issue the answer is and remains no. I then told my boy that I would discuss my reasons with him in more detail after he finished his homework. My wife an older son left in a big huff spewing words to the effect that it’s just very small portions of blood that are allowed and anyway it’s my “internet friends” that are causing all this and putting these bad ideas in my head.

    The evening may have started out on a bad footing but wonderful things happened after she left for the meeting. After she left, my boy and I had a Bible study, a really bible study. We read a copy of my letter together, and I had him look up the scriptures and read them from his own Bible. His conclusion, “you are right dad”! It was like magic! I can’t describe the feeling of elation I felt. We talked more about such things as the blood issue, vaccinations, organ transplants etc. and I explained that they keep changing their minds on this stuff and I just can’t let him die because this week he can’t have this part of blood but next week it may be ok. He expressed that he did not really totally understand or believe in all this stuff too.

    It is possible that maybe I was going to far, hitting him with two much at once, but my boy is very bright, gifted in fact, and I felt I was on a roll and so I sat him down at the computer, and showed him the UN / Watchtower connection and the hypocrisy of it all. I read him the story in the London Guardian and explained that the Watchtower may try cover this connection up, but I wanted you to see if for yourself and that it’s not me, or my so-called “internet friends” making this stuff up, you have seen it with your own eyes. I told him that because I wrote this letter about shunning to the Elder and we had this Bible study showing that the Witnesses are dead wrong on this and other points, I could get DF just like his friends. He was a bit sad over this.

    I explained that daddy made a very big mistake about twenty years ago when his mom and I started studying with the Witnesses. I never really checked out their beliefs or their history fully like I should have, and like I do now. I explained they are very nice and good people, but that they were just plain wrong on some important issues and that if I were smarter back then that we would be like a more normal family now. He hugged me so tight and told me he loved me and we both started crying at this point. I explained that I would always love him no matter what religion or non-religion he follows. I told him when he is older, like 18 or so, if he would like to be baptized, it was ok with me, he could even become an Elder if he wanted, I would still love him and never shun him and hoped he would always love me and never shun me too (more hugs and tears at this point). But as long as he is a minor and as long as the Witnesses continue to teach these wrong things, this is the way it will be. I won’t let you die over the blood issue and I won’t let them teach you to act unkind to someone because the society says so.

    I don’t know what will happen next, but I’m floating on air now. Again I wish to thank you all, my dear “internet friends” for your support, this board is truly a God-send!

    freeman

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    Wow.......what a wonderful experience. Thank you so much for sharing this. I hope your wife and other son will see it all too. Give them time, and cut them lots of slack and at least they may listen to you.

    Marilyn (a.k.a. Mulan)
    "Those who know, don't say, and those who say, don't know."

  • pettygrudger
    pettygrudger

    Beautiful freeman - I rejoice (hate that word! lol) in the experience you have had w/your son. I hope that someday you will experience this w/your wife and other son as well. Even if your son chooses to stay w/JW's, just by this conversation (and the many more to ensue over the years) will hopefully keep your family together.

    Peace
    Rhonda

    (there's 10 of us in this body & rhonda can't talk all the time!)

  • drahcir yarrum
    drahcir yarrum

    freeman:

    As I read your account I really struggled to keep from getting tears in my eyes. I hope you will be able to help your wife and older child see the truth about this religion that causes so much havoc to families and individuals.

    For those of us who sometimes think that the things we find and share on this site don't do anyone much good, I will gladly point them to your story. Keep up the fight. Your family is worth the effort.

    Richard

  • Latte
    Latte

    Freeman,

    ....You did good. I am very happy for you and your son, and wish you every success with the rest of your family.

    Latte (wiping her eye's)

  • LDH
    LDH

    Freeman,

    Good for you!

    Now my wife started, “you are depriving him of something he loves, it’s in his heart”!

    The truth is, it's a conditioned response. Your child only 'loves' the meetings because he is told time and agian how much he 'loves these meetings.' And how 'good it is to meet in unity.'

    It is pure brainwashing. A CHILD must not love an organization. If he/she chooses to believe in God, fine. But that's as far as that crap should go.

    So happy for you.

    Lisa

  • TR
    TR

    Freeman,

    I hope all goes well with your family. Your boy seems to be pretty sharp. Next thing you know, he'll be bugging you to spend hours on the net to do his own research on the WTS.

    TR

    The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
    —Edmund Burke

  • alamb
    alamb

    Congratulations! Your son has a great advantage in having you as a parent to balance JW teachings with. Common sense wins in the long run and JW teachings run low on that.

    If you can, can you send me a copy of the letter? I am in basically the same situation. My ex is a JW and pressures the kids to comply. I am just trying to be calm and patient and lead a normal life although the girls are told I am "apostate" and "Satan is in my head." In the end they will see I'm still me.

    I hope all goes well with you. You made great progress last night!

  • Escargot
    Escargot

    Have you read Ray Franz chapter regarding the misuse of disfellowshipping? Very simple, yet very powerful!!!

    Erasmus (1520 AD): "If we want truth, every person ought to be free to speak what they think without fear."

  • Bridgette
    Bridgette

    Dear Freeman,
    Good luck to you, honey. Love and rationale will rule the day. I loved what you told your son about even if he becomes a JW you would always love and NEVER shun him. I told my daughter much the same thing. She has NO desire to be a witness, but I wanted her to know that no matter what, she would have a CHOICE. and my love for her was not pendant on what or how she believes.
    Keep us posted!
    Love,
    B.

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