I went back home for the transition period from april to september (and thus college). They apparently told the freakin' P.O. I wouldn't like a visit but obviously he has no intention of following someone's wishes.
Just as my mother and I were leaving our home today he showed up in his[removed] 23 year old station wagon. As he pulled up, he had a nasty expression on his face, as if he was expecting some hostility from me. Why the [removed] would I be hostile to him? He's a [removed] control freak. I mean that in the utmost sense, his power struggles in this particular congo has ruined many a persons faith in JWs (way ta go Mel!).
Anyway, I gave a nice greeting and he said "We miss you, do you miss us?" I smirked and said "Not really, I don't miss people." Then he asked where we were going, I told him, although I guess I didn't have to. My mom asked him what he was doing there, he said "just stopped by to say hello."
Obviously he knows I got layed off and am between jobs right now or he wouldn't have come by at 12:30 in the afternoon to see me. So I believe my mother telling me she don't [removed] I don't want a visit is a ruse.
Anyway, he promised to return. That's not ... agreeable. So, I have options to consider here.
1) He comes when I'm the only one home, in which case I simply lock the door and continue my activities.
2) He'll come after I get a job, no worries.
3) He comes whilst my parents are here and I lock my bedroom door. (Not likely, sort of cowardly, however, it does allow the road to announcement be blocked longer and they can't do anything with me)
4) Same as 3, but I actually do something.
4a) I have a of questions out that make it appear I actually give a [removed] enough to go through all the doctrine questions I've collected from the internet and present them to him. In which case he'll most likely just come up with [removed] answers that you cannot counter because of the fact they are [removed]and make no sense.
4b) I simply play an [removed] and be honest with him. I believe the JWs are a cult and want nothing more to do with them. This will set into motion a couple of undesirables. It closes the door as far as my mother is concerned and strains our relationship further. It also means I'll get an announcement at the next Associate, er, Service Meeting saying I'm no longer an unbaptised publisher. Which means any friends I did have will treat me differently if not outright shun me. (Most times people just take the safe course and shun you, even though you weren't baptised, you aren't a WT whore/Magazine salesperson any longer)
Most likely will be a combination of 4a and 4b.
What are your suggestions? Have I missed options here?
An Elder coming for a visit!
by Mincan 12 Replies latest jw friends
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Mincan
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nvrgnbk
I empathize with you Mincan.
As you are unbaptized, the shunning issue is not as significant in your case.
However, to be avoided, even casually, by your friends and acquaintances hurts no matter what you call it.
Best of luck!
Nvr
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Nathan Natas
One of my all-time favorite"things to tell an elder" is that you believe this IS Jehovah's organization, but you also believe there is no God. This tactic was first tried by a poster here named Hylandyr a few years back. His elders accepted it without batting an eye.
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dawg
This man seems like a sad man to me... he probably has nothimg in his life that gives him joy other then destroying the lives of others. You mentioned he's destroyed the faith of many famlies in the cong. Sounds like he's on our side he just doesn't know it. Tell him you refuse to meet with him without him making an appointment; tell him it's rude that he keeps showing up unnanounced-it is rude after all. Tell him to call and make an appointment; then never be available. Or better yet screen your calls and never call back. If the elders try and push you tell them your working and are in debt so your working almost all the time.
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Wasanelder Once
Mincan,
Ok, you're an unbaptized publisher. Just so you know, after about six months of being "Inactive" as an unbaptized publisher basically took you off the list as an UP around here. You don't have to answer to those men. If there is no accuasation of wrongdoing or apostacy, they should let you go. This elder is just trying to be Uber theocratic and doesn't give a piss about you. I vote, meet, tell him that you don't want to be a publisher at this time. You still have questions to work out and you will continue to do personal study to decide the course to take. I would say that you might attend a meeting or two but need to settle your employment situation first. When he gives you the old, "serve Jah first and then it will all fall in place", just tell him that you need to build more faith before that is an option. Right now you are still looking into matters. Time will tell.
If you don't get into any wrongdoing, ie: selling dope to your witnoid friends, getting drunk in public, live in girlfriend they should be easy on you. Your friends might not spend as much time with you but so what, make new ones who dont hold things over your head. I promise the majority wont care one wit. They probably wished they did what you are doing.
Because you are not a witness you cannot dissasociate yourself from the congregation, you are not a member at this time. Sorry, please pull forward and collect your hamburger and coke, drive on.
If you present it as if you are dealing with your own faith and will keep this idiot posted, (dont) he should pull back...
W.Once
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Mincan
Yes, I think acting like a troubled moron is my best bet so far. I mean just act like I'm having a crisis of faith that I need to work out, most people seem to think that the most efficient. However, my parents already know I think its a freakin RETARDED CULT and might let the elders know I'm not giving them my true THOUGHTS on the matter.
Oh as for six months of being inactive, I've only not attending meetings since the end of January. I moved away for three months, and have been back in this congo's territory since April. So it not until the end of July that I would have been FREE for six months. I guess they want to avoid that route of having to make an announcement and just get me back into the ludavico treatment chair.
Already people around here from the congo that have seen me in town and such don't talk to me, but I think it might be because they are surprised to see me, maybe everyone doesn't know I moved back and am not going to meetings. Or they are just nervous and don't know what to say to me. I was never social at the meetings, just hung out with my friends at the back, etc.
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parakeet
Tell him never to darken your [removed] doorway again.
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Mincan
oops, sorry didnt realise this forum was censored!
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PrimateDave
Hey Mincan,
You shouldn't have to hide or avoid this guy, especially on your own turf. Frankly, you don't have to say anything to him but "no, thank you". If it was me, I'd be polite for my parent's sake. Perhaps, just to amuse yourself, you could listen to what he has to say. Who knows, he might really put his foot in his mouth.
You have a pm.
Dave -
sass_my_frass
What's the most important thing to you - pulling his chain, or being kind to your mother? It's possible that you can get through a visit from this guy without saying anything at all. Just be polite, cheerful, and on the way out to somewhere else. This conversation isn't inevitable. If your mum sees his ugly side she might stop involving him in your lives.