So hello everyone... I'm a brand new member and happy to be here... to know I am not alone.
I have been a JW since birth however I was never "encouraged"/forced to get baptised by my parents (lucky me!) I always considered myself a member on the fringes of my congeregation and almost everybody treated me as a member even though I never commented or went in service. The only thing that was keeping me going was that all of my friends were in "the truth" (in different congregations). I had a pretty great social network but somehow my best friend and I would manage to get into debates - about religious practices, policies, doctrine, you name it - which she called "fights" or "arguments." One of our major disagreements was on the topic of... surprise, surprise... disfellowshipment.
While I have never been victimized by this policy it is my position that it is hardly a christian practice and that it is a violation of basic rights and freedoms. Her view of it was that it keeps the congregation clean and that in almost every case the disfellowshipped person will return becuase they miss the social network and will realize how wrong they were, come running back to the fold and feel better.
Other debates which centered around a variety of religious issues (which you discuss in this forum) went on for about 2 years. She was always trying to "encourage" me and boss me around spiritually to an annoying degree. I guess she finally gave up foisting her beliefs on me. Just about 3 days ago, out of the blue, she called me up crying and told me "this is really hard." We couldn't be friends anymore specifically because of my attitudes on all these discussed subjects. I would blame myself for being to outspoken and too much of a libertarian hippie except that I know she's wrong.
The uncomfortable part is almost all of my friends are her friends... so as I told her "It's like I have been disfellowshiped without being baptised." I will feel uncommon around all these people which I used to call friends because she will undoubtedly tell them I am apostate. I simply remained calm on the phone (knowing this day would eventually come), asked her to treat me with a little dignity when discussing this with others, and said goodbye. She told me "hopefully one day you will find your answers and we can be friends again." Translation: Maybe someday you will ignore what you know is true and come back because you have no friends and need me.
WELL THERE IS NO CHANCE OF THAT... I'm off the deep end and free now! I have never felt more at peace with myself and my religious thoughts. I don't think I'll ever return. Especially not now, after this. Instead I feel like shouting and protesting against what is so clearly a cult. I have the challenge of developing friends in "the world" now but it's been my experience that my school friends in "the world" were more accepting and christian and less hypocritical anyways. It's mind over matter!
Thanks for reading my story.
Any comments on this topic would be appreciated.