My Story (page 2)

Missanna

wow guys! thanks for reading all the way through. i'm shocked! lol My husband is more supportive than i could have ever asked for. we left the "truth" together. He was the one that started making me think and question things that he had already done research on and discovered were lies and the wts being hypocritical. After i opened my mind to some of the ideas and questions i started asking questions to my parents and the other pioneers and they got worried and that's when all hell broke loose. lol that's when people were "worried" about me and treated me like i was satans child. so then i moved to New Orleans and Andrew (my hubby) and i stopped attending meetings. He is the only reason right now i believe in God because the odds of us meeting at the time that we did in both of our lives is just crazy. neither one of us were looking for a relationship and both of us needed emotional support. i truly believe that we were suppose to find eachother. anyway i'll stop the mushy stuff. anyway what i left out of the story because i was passing out on the keyboard last night was all of the sudden lately i've been having these nightmares about my father and brother and that's never happend before. my husband said he thinks its post tramatic stress. and the way he describes it it fits completely and now he wants me to see a therapist. I'm still weird about this because the therapist that i had when i was about 15 made things worse. not by telling my parents about the abuse but i was afraid to tell her things because she would have my parents sit in on the sessions sometimes and then my dad would be angry when i got home. but anyway Cognizant Dissident does that answer your question? and thank you for calling me gorgeous i don't know about all that but thank you. And i am very aware of how lucky i am to have had the strength to leave at my age. i think i owe a lot of that to my hubby. although he would tell you it was all me. anyway Thank you again.

free2think

Hiya Missanna,

From what you've said it does sound like some kind of post traumatic stress, therapy sounds like a great idea. I know what you mean about being apprehensive about going into therapy again. I had some counselling when I was younger and to be honest it did make me feel worse about myself and I blamed myself more for things that weren't my fault. Then a few years ago I was severely depressed, was pioneering and getting really ill trying to keep up with it all. So my doc said have some couselling wich I did and it was so good. I'm so glad I did it now, though I realize that my real issues were being a witless, lol. But anyway I found it really helped me, and I just wanted to say that, it'll be different now as there is nothing for you to feel guilty about or responsible for. I hope this makes sense, lol, so for rambling.

hugs

Editted to add: I'm fading now, but my counsellor helped me realise that the problem was the crazy situation I was in and the pressure placed on me that shouldn't have been there.

OnTheWayOut

hey MissAnna - you don't sound like a bitch at all.

I second that. I liked your comments and questions. I thought you were a very intelligent, straightforward
seeker of answers. Maybe it was the picture with the tongue sticking out, but I somehow knew you were a great
person.

Missanna

Onthewayout, aaaawwww thank you!!! that was so nice of you to say. i'm sure it was just the tongue sticking out.

Freetothink, yes i kind of realized that even though i had that experience in the past with my therapist i probably am not being fair. I'm gonna give it another try. i'm so sick of feeling like my past is effecting my future still. I'm not even sure i am going to be able to find a therapist right nwo in this area. There are so many people here going through post tramatic stress right now because of the devistation from the storm. But i'm gonna try.

EVERYONE, Thanks for your loving support. i'm not use to it so i really appreciate it!

OnTheWayOut

Yours isn't really a cult issue, but Steve Hassan's website has some help on therapy if
you are interested in someone who understands cults. www.freedomofmind.com

free2think

Good Luck, I can imagine, there must be so many people who need it there. Well I hope you can find a good one, I know how important it is to find one that you can feel comfortable and relaxed with.

Btw the way your hubby sounds really nice, do you have any pics of the two of you?

done4good

Good story. You have a lot going for you, figuring it out at 19. Brave young lady.

j

Missanna

yeah we have some wedding pictures on the computer but i don't know how to get it on here. this might work nevernind i dont know what i'm doing. lol

38 Years

Missanna,

I think finding therapy is a good idea too. Remember, when you went before, you were in the dubs and with your parents. People and doctors treat you different when you are a dub. They can be cautious about saying things because they don’t want to offend. Also, your position about life and yourself has changed, so you will be more open and comfortable talking about what you have been through. Your mind is free and open, there are no restrictions anymore to how you choose to absorb the help you’ll receive. I talked to a therapist too when I first left and got a lot of support from friends. My therapist said he was enlightened when I told him things about being a dub. He had quite a few witness patients and never knew the details I told him. You got a lot of strength, you should be proud of yourself.

38 Years

Vernon Williams

Thank you for telling your History. Here is the cool part: watching the Future unfold free of the bondage you have been in. Best wishes.

Yours in this Struggle,

V

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