After awhile I feel like they're lost........I don't even know what ta talk about. I'm an equal opportunity judgemental A-hole. Weird.
Are you still close to any of your Witness friends, who are still active?
by passive suicide 20 Replies latest jw friends
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Crumpet
Nope - they all dumped me shortly before being Dfed when I was 16. And as far as I know, barring the two i have found here, they all still have the hots for jehovah. I keep hoping though that over the years I will come across some of them here.
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dedpoet
No, and neither would I want to be, they all shun me nowadays.
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Watkins
There was one girlfriend who was adamant about "saving me" and coercing me to return to the meetings. That didn't go so well, so she cut me loose. She thought I was a "danger to her faith" - not faith in God, but faith in the wtbts - and she was so right. She said if I'm not her 'spiritual friend' then she doesn't have time to be my friend at all. All the 'friends' at the hall were only 'friends' while at the hall - not in real life, and the hall was the only place our paths ever crossed. They must think I've got a problem with someone at the hall, as the elders have mentioned a couple of times that I need to 'forgive' - LOL - I have no problems at all with the people, all very nice people who are unfortunately still stuck in a cult. So my wtbts 'friends' have turned into collateral damage, sorry to say. But you must make some hard choices in life. It helps immensely that I live far out in the countryside and have managed to just slide off their radar. The lady who studied with me is punishing me(for not attending) by ignoring me - ouch! lol. No doubt, if I turned up at a meeting, I would be the recipient of many hugs, handshakes, a show of conditional love and lots of: "So glad to see you came BACK to Jehovah!". That ain't gonna happen 'cause I ain't goin' back to a KH, ever. They'll just have to love me - or fear me or hate me - from afar... or be so busy looking busy that I'm eventually forgotten altogether. Oh well.
There is one older couple that I dearly love that still send me requests to return to 'the ark', and WT's in the mail. I write to them and talk of everyday things, nothing spiritual. If we did talk about spiritual things it would rain on our parade, and they'd feel compelled to shun me as an 'apostate'... and we both know it, so we just don't ever go there...
I've never successfully helped any former 'friends' 'see the light' - it's very frustrating because the more evidence you present, the more sideways the conversation goes, and the more 'apostate' you sound in their ears and the less they're willing to listen. sigh. So far I've not gone too very far into the WT deception with anyone, but I'm still 'marked' by my absence and left alone. So I guess I went just far enough. Lol. No, really, I wish it were different, but it can't be, so I've accepted it as the consequences of getting involved in a cult. May we all find peace...
~Watkins~
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undercover
I'm still friends with several JWs who I either grew up with or knew for several years, but I wouldn't say that I'm close to them.
They're so involved in the day-to-day life of being a JW that they can't see anything outside of that life and for my own sanity, I don't seek too much of their association anymore. Not that I'm turning my back on them, but we've grown apart as friends. They have their priorities and I have mine. We're still friends, just not the best of friends.
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truthseeker
Watkins,
Interesting experience. What stood out about your post was comment: "All the 'friends' at the hall were only 'friends' while at the hall - not in real life, and the hall was the only place our paths ever crossed."
So very true. The majority of my "friends" and I use that term loosely are simply what I call Kingdom Hall buddies - you only ever see them at the hall.
Like bees to nectar, the dubs move from person to person rarely seeing each other outside the comfort of their place of worship.
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truthseeker
Watkins,
Interesting experience. What stood out about your post was comment: "All the 'friends' at the hall were only 'friends' while at the hall - not in real life, and the hall was the only place our paths ever crossed."
So very true. The majority of my "friends" and I use that term loosely are simply what I call Kingdom Hall buddies - you only ever see them at the hall.
Like bees to nectar, the dubs move from person to person rarely seeing each other outside the comfort of their place of worship.
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Mulan
My best friend of 35 years is still my best friend. We talk on the phone almost every day and she would drop everything to help me if I needed her, and vice versa. We see each other when we can, but she has to protect herself from gossip, so we are very careful. Her husband is an elder and would also do anything for us, as we were very close once upon a time, but he also has to be careful. Since we are not disfellowshipped, it helps, but even if we were, she would never dump me. She has assured me of that much.
I realize she is unusual for that, but she has her own issues with the WTS, and I am sure she stays in to keep her marriage and family intact.
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Finally-Free
Nope. I didn't have any JW friends.
W
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Terry
The guy who brought me in to the
TRUTH(who became my best friend and...later...my brother-in-law) still has contact with me sporadically.He will call me on the phone out of the blue like nothing has happened or no time has intervened. (It can be 6 months without a word.)
We meet for lunch and converse about all sorts of things. Usually, when he has been to see a movie (that he isn't supposed to see) he'll excitedly want to discuss it.
We've had many a heated discussion about JW's and doctrine, etc.
Sadly, months later it is as though we never even talked. He simply forgets what needs to be forgotten.
He is the poster boy for cognitive dissonance.
Johnny has been active for almost 40 years now. All his kids (5) have been disfellowshipped many times and his daughter is a recovering alcoholic. He is clueless that his religious fanaticism destroyed his relationships.
Would his life have been better without Jehovah's Witnesses? Here is a shocker: I DON'T KNOW!
He so perfectly fits in at the Kingdom Hall and it so perfectly addresses his needs that I cannot imagine him as an apostate. He'd never make it. He NEEDS to be told what is right and wrong.
He is highly intelligent and nobody's fool. He just knows how to play the game. He is very much aware of what is screwy and dishonest at Bethel. He is "waiting on jehovah".