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by sexyk 16 Replies latest jw friends

  • writetoknow
    writetoknow

    You must be an amazing person! God must love you so much to let such trials come upon you at your age.

    If love can be cut off so easily then a person can only have distrust. Our parents love shows us the way to God's love.

    Love is a gift and we can not make someone give it to us and it is not a gift if it is not given out of love.

    We have so much more power then we think. You probably think I am one little person going up against an entire organzation how can I have power?

    For a moment imagine saying to that big Oh organzation: " I disfellowship you because you do not uphold the truth of the God I love".

    That puts you in the company of so many faithful witnesses that God's loves and will never forget.

    What power we have. We can only give up power when we think were not good enough or the another person is right.

    Now imagine telling your parents that you have disfellowship the organization. But you will never stop loving them even if they don't uphold God's truth and you would never disfellowship them because they choose to believe what they believe.

    You must remember the organization get's power over people because they claim to talk for God. They are smarter, better, more holy, and in a position to speak for God.

    One man went against all organizations and conquered the world he tell us that because he conquered he will make us conquers they thought they were rejecting Jesus when in fact he rejected them.

    It is not easy and there is no easy way but at least you know now that you have the power and as much right to use it as anyone on this earth - if you believe that mountain will move into the sea.

    Ask God for his spirit and he will help you in so many loving and kind ways

  • J-ex-W
    J-ex-W
    I find it hard to trust even my GF. She's the only person im remotely close to right now, and im afraid of losing her like I lost my family and friends. So im very protective.

    Welcome, sexyk. Sorry you're going through these things. You're right--you shouldn't have to be going through it. ((((((((( hugs )))))))))

    One serious word of caution, though: If you don't ease up on how you carry these feelings/ reactions over into your relationship with your girlfriend, you will wind up inadvertently pushing her away...despite all her best efforts. Be careful about that...and make sure you TALK to her about these feelings when they come up--instead of 'acting them out.'

    Good luck to you!

  • bluebell
    bluebell

    Hi sexyk and welcome to the forum.

    alot of people here have experianced your situation to a greater or a lesser extent. it is truly horrible to be shunned by those you love, just remember that they are probably very scared of repurcussions should they have contact with you because "the jw religion is at worst a cult and at best a high control group" (that thought is ripped off from a post on JWD that I read, sorry to the author, i don't know who you are to give you credit!). it can get better with time. let them know that your door is always open and that you love them and will always be willing to speak to them, if they won't answer your calls, try an e-mail or letter, they may read those.

    i personally know what it is like to feel that you cannot trust anyone, your trust has been abused by the borg and you have been taught/brainwashed into thinking that "worldly" people are untrustworthy too, so no wonder you feel lost.

    just remember that things can get better, people here have survived and you can survive too. Talk to your gf - she may not like you being possesive but if she can understand why then you will be able to work through it. i spend ages pushing my partner away but he could see that there were reasons why and just kept on showing how worthy of my trust he is.

  • Tara
    Tara

    I am sorry for what you are gouing through. I agree with whoever said thAT THEY ARE CHOOSING TO SHUN YOU, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. i WOULD CALL MY FAMILY AND REACH OUT TO THEM LETTING THEM KNOW THAT MY LOVE FOR THEM WAS TOTALLY UNCONDITIONAL. Woops..sorry about the caps. Have you read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz? If not, please do. That book was so eye opening for me and many others. It took away all the fear and guilt I had for walking away.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    You are lonely, that is to be expected. I think you know deep down the answer is NOT to withdraw further. Even if you rejoin the religion, the relationship you enjoyed with your family will always be conditional. You will never have the opportunity to let your guard down.

    I think a healthier, long-term plan is to drop your fear of regular people. Join a club or support group on campus. The rest of the world doesn't have those weird shunning rules, so you usually don't have to worry about someone absolutely cutting you out of their life. Unless, of course, you have a mutual falling-out.

  • sexyk
    sexyk

    Thanks for the advice everyone, it's appreciated.

    Im going to read that book Crisis of Conscience. I heard so many good things about it, im making it a goal to purchase one and read it.

    keith

  • greendawn
    greendawn

    Hi sexyk, what you are experiencing now is precisely what the JWs want you and every ex JW to experience but it is a transient phase, the way forward is to get over the inhibitions about the non JW society and eventually integrate there so as not to be in no man's land.

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