What can I possibly do..........

by passive suicide 23 Replies latest jw experiences

  • passive suicide
    passive suicide

    I am at a loss. I've finally realized what my heart has been questioning for many years...'The Truth', quite possibly/probably...is NOT. Meanwhile..........I have a wife, and child........both of which are firmly in the grasp of my former beliefs. I am not opposed....I am quite willing to support their decision to continue to follow their heart's. At the same time.... It is tearing my wife, and I apart. She wants me to be the spiritual head, and ask's me how I'll feel when our child is lying beside me dying at Armageddon. To be honest..I don't know right now if it isn't the true religion. At this point.....I am just looking for facts, not some other religious views...I don't want to be saved, i don't want to save anyone else. I just want to know why, when people leave , I see so much animosity. by both sides.

  • What-A-Coincidence
    What-A-Coincidence
    I don't know right now if it isn't the true religion. At this point.....I am just looking for facts, not some other religious views...I don't want to be saved, i don't want to save anyone else. I just want to know why, when people leave , I see so much animosity. by both sides.

    Welcome. I hear ya. A lot of us on here have been on that road. Check out these titles. These books should help you 'reframe' your beliefs. http://www.amazon.com/Combatting-Cult-Mind-Control-Best-selling/dp/0892813113 Combating Cult Mind Control: The #1 Best-selling Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults http://www.amazon.com/Releasing-Bonds-Empowering-People-Themselves/dp/0967068800/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_b/102-3774618-4230509 Releasing The Bonds: Empowering People to Think for Themselves (Hardcover) http://www.amazon.com/Crisis-Conscience-Raymond-Franz/dp/customer-reviews/0914675230 Crisis of Conscience (Paperback) Ray Franz: Former Governing Body Member http://www.amazon.com/Search-Christian-Freedom-Raymond-Franz/dp/0914675168 Ray Franz: Former Governing Body Member http://www.amazon.com/Captives-Concept-Anatomy-Illusion-Cameron/dp/1411622103 Former Elder deals with JW Doctrine This book helped me particularly... http://www.amazon.com/Awaken-Giant-Within-Immediate-Emotional/dp/0671791540 -wac Xelder Xbethelite

  • passive suicide
    passive suicide

    i've read a couple on your list, and will be sure to check out that last one you've recommended. Thanks.

  • Narkissos
    Narkissos

    Welcome passive suicide.

    You've come to the right place. Many of us went through a similar painful "realisation". You'll find a lot of helpful advice and support here.

    For now I'll only say: it takes faith to leave one's beliefs behind -- quickly or slowly. It's like starting to walk in the dark, trusting that your eyes will get used to it. Rely on what you really know and don't worry too much about the next steps. You'll see better when you get there.

    Take care.

  • dedpoet
    dedpoet

    Hello passive suicide, and welcome to the forum.

    You are facing the same kind of dilemna that many on this board have faced,
    and that many still face. To be doubting the watchtower while your loved ones
    are still true believers is an unenviable position to find yourself in, and I feel for
    you.

    As to why there is so much animosity from the watchtower towards those who
    leave, the truth is those who see through their teachings become a danger to them.
    They cannot be trusted not to share what they are finding with their loved ones
    and other believers, and therefore have to be pilloried by the society and shunned
    by other jws. The watchtower call this shunning an act of love to remind the
    doubter of what they have left behind, but it's really a security measure on their
    part, to protect them from potential further losses if any other jws ask the leaver
    why he left, and investigate the watchtower's doctrines for themselves. The trurh
    is there is simply no honourable way to leave this religion.

    If you do take steps to leave the watchtower, expect a lot of emotional pressure,
    especially from your still-loyal family members. You wifes' comment about your
    child lieing beside you dying at armageddon is an example. I've heard of exiting
    jws with young children being labelled child killers by their family still in the
    watchtower.

    As for further research, I suggest you read Crisis of Conscience by Ray Franz.
    This is an excellent publication, and reveals what really goes on inside the
    governing body, of which Ray is a former member. Also, there are several Quotes
    sites on the internet, with excerpts from watchtower publications which help us
    to see how the society has changed it's doctrine, usually to suit it's circumstances,
    over the years. There is a link to one of them here:

    http://www.quotes-watchtower.co.uk/home.html

    However you choose to deal with your current situation, I sincerely wish you
    well. Please keep reading and posting on here though. This is a good place to
    be for anyone doubting the watchtower and in need of support.

    dedpoet

  • twinkletoes
    twinkletoes

    Welcome to the board "Passive Suicide".

    You will find many others on this forum who are, or have been going through exactly the same as you. It's not easy, and it will take some time for you to gather together the information you require. Stick around, you'll find lots of very helpful people here.

    I was fortunate to be able to escape the WT with my husband (Kaytee), and as all of our children are grown-up and not involved in the JWs it was easier for us to leave.

    We were both in the Org. for over thirty years. During that time we never doubted that it was Jehovah’s Organisation, (although we were quite disillusioned by the brothers and sisters and their lack of love) until one day we came across the article written by the Guardian newspaper, re: Watchtower involvement with the United Nations. Even then we thought it must have been a hoax, still always believing that Jehovah was backing the Organisation. After checking many things out for ourselves, we came to the conclusion that the Organisation is full of hypocrites and liars. You only need to check out their history from their own literature to discover this!

    Good to have you join us!

    Twinkletoes

    We found great help with Ray Franz's books. A real eye-opener to the workings of the Governing Body.

  • KAYTEE
    KAYTEE

    Welcome Passive Suicide,

    As you study material other than what you were once told to study, (which you can now do without feeling guilty or looking over your shoulder), whilst you may not find the true religion (if there is one) you definitely will find out that the JW’s are not the true religion that we once thought they were.

    As Twinkletoes has said, we were duped for thirty years, but the U.N. involvement made us look at them with more interest and we found out many factors that make this cult not to be what they purport to be.

    It wasn’t the failings of the brothers (I had put up with that for 30years), it was the realisation that I had misrepresented Jehovah all that time, that made me leave that organisation.

    Welcome and hope things in time go well for you and your family, try not to lose your love for Jehovah, you don’t need this man made organisation to do that..

    kt

  • Tyrone van leyen
    Tyrone van leyen

    Passive Suicide, I was born in that crap and it's amazing you have the insight at this stage of the game to realize there is something wrong. Your gut is definately telling you something. Run with it bud. Trust me, you are not doing your kids a favour raising them this way. Check out why, on "The wanderer's" thread on what is it like to grow up a Jehovah's witness. I feel for your situation.This board is a great source of support as I'm sure you already know. WELCOME

  • UnConfused
    UnConfused

    PS -

    You have a long emotional road ahead of you. I've been there and it was depression first and in the end my wife and children are out. For me one of the best therapy's was "The Gentile times Reconsidered" which proved that the WT dates are just plain wrong. And Ray Franz's "In Search of Christian Freedom"

    Keep in touch

  • bluebell
    bluebell

    Welcome Passive Suicide. That's what I thought I was doing when I first considered leaving JW's, committing passive suicide, because God was going to kill me at Armageddon. But do you really want to serve a god that says - "live this way or I will kill you"...?

    There are a few on this forum who are in your position - living with a believing mate and knowing that one day their own children may shun them.

    What you have to do is hard, feeling your way with your gut, I assume you love your wife and you don't want to alienate her or your children. There is alot of advice on this forum, make use of people experiences. You have a hard road ahead of you but beyond is a freedom that is worth having, I personally have never been happier.

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