During the years that have followed, I have realized that there is no place in the witness society for suffering humanity. If you are not set up to preform in the system, then you are just there so others can show their forbarence.
My son has a mental illness. It's been a long road for us both. I do believe the love and acceptance that I drilled in to him from his youth has made him a more cooperative young man, now that he's prepared to listen to the professionals. I guess I am saying is that every child has their own niche in our society. Even if it is to point out our own hypocrisy.
NO MORE.
OK, if you must leave with a bang, have some backup friends ready to go. Start associating with people you really like before you disassociate from the organization. Who knows? The society may disassociate you by your actions without you having to do a single blessed thing. In the meantime, for the grandkids, have their "special days" and don't deny them a single celebration, just avoid using words like "Halloween" and "Merry Christmas". If you have lots of food on the table, hopefully hubby will continue to "suffer in silence" (while stuffing his face with hot cross buns).
My issue with DA has to do with the FACT that I have become a shell of a person, hollow, worthless, whithout depth, or direction. All because I have been playing dead. I have been doing this for YEARS!!!!!!!!!
I was there once. Boy, can I relate. I lost myself because of an abusive husband who literally beat the personality out of me. I got me back. You will too. Here are some steps towards SELF that can help. I've done all of these, so they are tried and true, field tested.
Every day look yourself full length in the mirror and tell yourself out loud how beautiful you are.
Be gracious and accept all compliments.When someone pays you a compliment, say "thank you".
Carve off a room in your house that is exclusively yours. EVERYONE ELSE'S STUFF MUST GO.
Set up a bank account that is exclusively yours.
Start a hobby or join a club in a personal interest area, that has nothing to do with family or making money.
If an obligation is making you depressed, stop and think long and hard if you are being used and abused. Can someone else do the job? If so, give it away...quickly!
If you are asked to take on a new obligation, always ask for a few days to think about it. Think long and hard if you can take it on. If you can't, the few days gives you the time to have the strength to say 'no'.
Depression is a sign that there is a disconnect between what you need and what is happening. Drag out the source and change your lifestyle to eliminate the source of unhappiness.
If you can at all hold off leaving with a bang, I have some ideas on how to bring your hubby along with you. Or at least you can give it a try. But I understand if you have got to the point that you cannot wait any longer.
