Need Some Advice...Thanks... (page 2)

aquagirl

yeah,i actualy talked to my lawyer,who is also a friend about this,and all i can do is keep them away from me.unless my parents complain,and hohoba wouldnt let them do that..but its a good idea,thanks!!!!!

aquagirl

and yes,i do think that since my folks are getting older,that the dubs want their assets..i have gotten wind of that thgru another channel actualy,and i have seen some of the dubs litter ature on it...these are evil people..and im exploring the expose to the papers thing too...hey,the way i see it,they are the same as any other brainwashing cult,maybe worse,because they are a bit more subtle..the local chain hardware store in the town near here,has a dub working there.everytime i go in theremhe hides..ive made a point a few times of asing him for some help finding things,but he always tells me to wait a sec,that he wil find someone who will help me..that seems a bit extreme..id fire someone who worked for me that did that,wouldnt you?like,if i got a complaint against tthem?..hmmmm....

JWdaughter

I believe I remember reading in literature (CBD??? YOU will know where!) that when family members who are JWs are in a situation (minor children) that requires them to live with DF'd family, that they are allowed to have normal family interactions.I am assuming you are not interfering with their worship. . . If your parents NEED you and you are caring for them, it seems like they should not be disciplined about this. I re-read this and thought how NUTS it is to worry what the borg will do to 'discipline' elderly long time members of their faith!!! The JWs aren't going to care for them other than in a sketchy kind of way (a couple casseroles till they forget!)

Are they going to meetings regularly? Could you and your parents move to a place that doesn't know or care if you are DF'd? Your parents seem like they need and love you and want your companionship. The elders/JWs are trying to interfere with it. Since your folks won't call off the dogs, could they move out of their neighborhood? Or would that be too disruptive?

ferret

Remember the commandment "to honor your father and mother" It does not say only if they are JW's

Do whatever you have to do to protect them and yourself. It is not an easy task looking after aged

parents as my wife and I did for many years.

aquagirl

jwdaughter..i know,youre right about the elders...moving isnt a possibility at this point,but believe me,ive thought of it...its too bad,because i really really LIKE my parents as the quirky interesting people that they are..i went grocery shopping today,and i really missed having to watch out for my mum,making sure that she didnt walk out in front of cars and like...i never had kids,so maybe its the maternal thing manifesting itself..thanks!!!!

aquagirl

ferret,thats how im gonna fight this one.the honor thy parents one..as you say,it dose not specify df'd or not..their other daughter,a devout jw,couldnt care less if they are dead or alive..seems to me that a talkin' to should be on the itenerary for her,from the elders....how long did you take care of your mum?

Quandry

Maybe you could call the elders and ask to set up a meeting. Tell them you'd like to discuss the schedule you've arranged for your parent's care. You need to know who will be doing the regular grocery shopping, cleaning, taking them to Dr.'s appointments, going for medicine, etc. Who will be taking them to visit other relatives since they probably won't be driving much longer? Tell them mom needs to go get her hair styled weekly, could you arrange that, please, and dad's hair cuts? Also, who will be washing the clothes and taking them shopping for them? Maybe dad needs his ear hairs plucked-as an elder, will you be taking over that job?

Something tells me that you will look more appealing as a caregiver then.

I remember one of the very first posts I read on this forum was a woman stating that she had been df'd and shunned for years by her mother. Now mom had Alzheimer's disease, and was in a nursing home. They called her and told her she needed to care for her "duty" to her mother. Now she had to care for a woman who did not even know her, and of course she had to deal with the anger that she had toward her mom for shunning her for so long.

OnTheWayOut

You have some great advice here. Tell your folks that you have an obligation to care for
them, and you want to do it. Tell them to tell the elders that. Don't bother dealing with
the elders yourself, but if they get in your face, just tell them you must care for the folks.

You can suggest to your dad that he tells the elders he prefers your care over an
impersonal uncaring nurse. If his dear "sisters" in the congregation, or the elders,
themselves, can provide that personal care, then maybe he'll consider using that instead.
It'll never happen. If they say it will, let them try while you are still doing it.

There's no way to undo your baptism. Even if there were, the WTS and congregation would
not honor it, so don't bother.

If they interfer, I like the news story idea.

aquagirl

quandry,love it...sounds like youve been there?..its true,i do do all of those things,along with acupressure for my dads arthritus and mums calf massage for her circulation...i wonder which of them will volunteer that?

aquagirl

on the way out,thanks..id love to annull my baptism,but you are right..they are not ruled by "laws of men"..except when there is a benefit,like churches not having to pay taxes....another thing that the newspaper might like to know about..

Need Some Advice...Thanks...

Share this